12/24/2021 0 Comments End of year catch up!Let’s Talk!
It’s been awhile. But I’m so excited to finish off this new year off strong and now that I finally have some freaking time in my schedule, let’s talk. School going fully back in person this year was such a struggle. Like I think we can all agree that this had to be one of the hardest school semesters, ever. The good news is, I feel a lot better about the direction I want to take my career post grad. I don’t want to speak too much into existence because so much can change and I want to keep everything full of positive vibes and good energy (I don’t want to jinx shit). But fingers crossed that all the hard work and struggle this semester makes it worth it. 🤗🤞🏾 On that note, reading? Egregious. It’s been so hard to find time to read this semester, and even when I did, I feel like the beginning of the year started out so well. We had some stellar reads and then it all went downhill from there. I watched Mina from Mina Reads’ video and she had similar thoughts so I’m going to link her video here. But I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt like the reading vibes were off this year, because I felt like such a slacker. But I’m hopeful that next year will be a much better reading year. 📖 However, I have exactly 8 days to read 3 books by the end of 2021 (because it has to end on an even number). So, the goal is to try and read some novellas so I can get to 110 books by the end of the year. Until the end of December I was trying to read all holiday and sexy santa romances but again, I started off strong and then things went downhill from there. (AKA finals and bad reads). I’m trying not to dnf anymore books but we might have to make a few sacrifices to make my reading goal and also so I can get the blog posts I want up in a timely manner. ⏰ Overall, I just wanted to come on here and spread some positive vibes, maybe talk a little bit more about books and gauge the general thoughts and feelings over this past year and future goals for next year. So I looked up a quizlet with some “We’re Not Really Strangers” questions to get reconnected and then next time, I’ll have some book related questions to go through. So let’s get into it! ~Questions~ What’s One Thing You Hope to Change in the Next Year? I hope to truly open myself up emotionally and literally to new experiences next semester since I'm going abroad to London. I’m forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone and explore everywhere and everywhere; introduce myself to new people, give myself the space to grow without feeling obligated to give more of myself than I have or am willing to share, etc. I’m just really excited to grow next year (specifically next semester) and I hope to see that change by the end of 2022. Even if it’s small. What’s One Lesson that Took You the Longest to Unlearn? (This year) I think it took me a long time to learn that I can’t be everything for everyone. It’s something I’m still trying to learn but recognizing that this year is helping to ease some of the anxiety I’ve been feeling surrounding not being good enough or doing enough for those closest to me. I’m not stretching myself too thin and that’s been nice to go through this year. How Are You Really? Tired, overwhelmed, stressed but also really really happy. All of the negative, tense emotions definitely have to do with planning for going abroad and the details that go along with that, as well as worrying about the upcoming changes. I’m also still figuring life things out, working towards career goals that I'm waiting to hear back from, so waiting sucks. But I’ve also got to spend the most time with friends and create some really beautiful relationships this year that I didn't have before. My support system is as strong as it’s ever been this year and I don't know, I’ve just been feeling really blessed and thankful for the people in my life and the experiences that have opened up to me because I took certain opportunities or chances this year. What’s Been Keeping You Sane Lately? Steven Universe and watching Grey’s Anatomy with my besties. Anyone can fight me on this (and be wrong) but Steven Universe is probably one of the greatest shows of all time and for it to be so openly queer during the time it was streaming? Bye. I’m in love. This show literally got me through my finals. Plus spending quality time on one of the most dramatic shows ever with two of my favorite people has been amazing too. What Would You Tell Your Younger Self and What Have You Learned From This Lesson? I’ve actually been thinking about this question a lot lately and I think I would basically tell her that everything she’s going through will make her even more prepared for the amazing things that are coming her way. I’ve learned that patience really is the key when it comes to life circumstances changing but also, taking advantage of all opportunities as well. I’d also tell her to keep investing in her passions because what she’s doing now will shape who she is and everything she does in the future for the better. So, just hold on, things will get better. ~Closing Thoughts~ Thank you for everyone reading! Especially all the way to the end. Longform writing isn’t as trendy as it once was but those of y'all who love to hear a good ramble, really keep this platform so fun for me to interact with. I wanted to ask these questions because this card game is really so fun and it allows you the time to self reflect and engage with those closest to you in such an intimate way. So much has happened this year that this could be the time to take a pause with a card game like this. Take the time to check-in and reconnect in ways that you didn’t have the time to before if you can. I hope everyone who’s done with school is glad their semester is over with (because I sure as hell am). And I’m wishing you positive vibes, good grades and inspiration for end of year reading goals. I’m determined to reach my reading goal so in order to encourage me… you should probably follow me on my Instagram and Goodreads. 😏 Hehe. It’s always a fun time there (and if you notice that I update Goodreads more than Insta then just mind your business 😜😂). With love, Arianna
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Heyy! I don’t know about you but I’m so excited for the summer. I’m up here where it’s still snowing. SNOW! In April? Egregious. Anyways, with my mind thinking of summer sun and outdoor activities I was inspired to ask about you guys summer plans. Of course, we have to be mindful of COVID safety so please be conscientious when you hang out with friends and family outside of your “bubble”. But either way, I hope summer 2021 will be as promising as we’re all willing it to be. On that note, I recently watched Maddie Dragsbaek’s video and I love her. I don’t know but I swear we could be friends in real life. I know people say this all the time but I really believe it. I don’t know what it is about the Leo/Pisces mix but we just work.
Maddie’s video basically gave tips on “how to be a hot girl” and I thought it was so great because it was about confidence and body positivity and how we all can be hot girls if we aren't already. I really needed to hear that at this time. So, make sure you guys go watch Maddie’s video but based off of that I wanted to give my own definition of “hot girl” but using the Euphoria cast! My friends got me hooked on the show last winter and we’re still all desperately waiting for season 2 to come out. Butn until then, I’m going to give the different types of hot girls based off of these lovely characters and by the end, you can determine which hot girl are you? Rue Rue is always main character energy. Duh. She’s our lowkey, lesbian queen and she doesn’t give a fuck what anybody thinks. But Rue is a hot girl because of her strong will and perseverance. Sure, she has her hard times and falls down. Sometimes she loses hope but she’s still here and she’s pushing through and making ways for herself to be a better and stronger person for herself. It’s going to take some time, growth and healing but if you feel like you’re channeling Ruth energy, and life is just beating you down, you’re a hot girl because you keep going. You’ve been through it, but you will make it to the end. With some positive and healthy support and self reflection, this summer is yours to claim just as you claim your personal growth and healing. Period! Jules Iconic queen! She is our real life Star Butterfly (from Star v. The Forces of Evil) in the best possible way. Sweet but a total badass and we stan. She’s a hot girl because of her free spirit and positivity. She does her best to look for the best in people and situations, even at the detriment to herself. She tries to be independent and live her life the way she wants, even when she sometimes falls into the wrong situations because of it. However, no one can fault her for trying to do the best for herself without guidance. If Jules is your soul sister this summer, let your free spirit carry you away this summer. Let yourself be open to new possibilities, friendships and relationships but make sure to check in with yourself and perhaps your therapist *wink wink* for some internal self reflection when you feel your hope leading you astray. No harm in keeping yourself guided along the way. Cassie Cassie is our tenderhearted angel. Her heart is so big that she can’t help but try to sweep others into her fray, even when she gets burned for getting too close to the edge. This summer, channel your inner Cassie and let people see the way you love so freely. Being vulnerable is never a bad thing, especially now when all we want to do is find ways to connect. Don’t shut yourself off from forming new relationships for fear of getting hurt. On that same note, protect your peace when you feel like your love is being exploited or taken from you at the expense of yourself. When that happens, protect that and turn that same big heart onto yourself. This summer could use all your love and sunshine. Katherine (Kat) Kat walked into school one day and reclaimed her power. As she motherfluffing should. And so should you, summer babes. If you’ve been feeling a little stifled this year because of the pandemic–social and literal isolation closing your off and making you feel closeted and insecure–use this summer to pull out those outfits, put on the makeup (you can always wash or buy your masks again) and just allow all that powerful energy to shine through. Summer is the perfect time to explore with your style and now is the time to show the world all the self growth you’ve done while trapped in home over quarantine. Pull out whatever makes you feel the most confident and step on their necks queens. All streams, no skips. Just make sure you remember who you are at the core and don't get too lost in this new self of yours. There’s still a person beneath all that power. Maddy Maddy is the baddest B on the block and she’ll make sure you never forget it. If you’re like Maddy, you’ve been waiting for the last six months to show the world what summer 2021 can do for you and don’t worry ma’am, now’s your time to shine. Just make sure not to trample over the other queens in your path. Reach out to your friends this summer, reconnect with people you’ve been missing and neglecting while at home raging about the unfairness of it all. And make sure you use this summer to focus on you. Hot girl summer is for you not anyone else (looking at you, Nate) to embrace that extroverted energy you’ve been forced to keep bottled up inside and we can’t wait to see it. So enjoy! We especially need our friends during this time. So who’s your hot girl for this summer? Are we letting our wild spirits roam free like Jules or releasing all that power we’ve been building up like Kat? No matter what happens, let’s be determined to channel all of our inner hot girl energy–whether we spend a majority of our time indoors or not. Being a hot girl is about confidence, it’s about kindness and it’s about knowing you are that bitch and nobody else can tell you any different. Anyone can be a hot girl (it's an identity, not one person), you just have to believe you are one and embody what a hot girl does––there really are no rules. So I’m declaring it! Summer 2021 is giving hot girl summer. And we’re all hot girls this year. Always with love, Arianna 11/13/2020 0 Comments I invested in a new friendIt's been awhile since I've done a life update, hasn't it? Whew, we have a lot to catch up on so let's just jump right into it. How are ya'll though? I hope life is doing a little better since quarantine.
What am I up to? For one, I'm back at school. If you guys follow me on Instagram (you totally should, I think I'm finally figuring out my *aesthetic*) you guys probably already know this by now. But I love being back here! I live in a suite with some of my closest friends and it's been a good time (completely COVID safe environment since most of my friends live with me). But I'm looking forward to going home for the holidays. I've also started a new internship! I'm a media content writer at online magazine, StudyBreaks, which is very cool. I have an editor who's such a queen and I work directly with the CEO which make things so personal. I also have a writing group who gives me feedback and they're so nice. It's such a vibe! But I've loved writing professionally for someone and it's definitely given me a chance to think things through about where I want to take my writing career. I think I've talked about it a little on here about my thoughts for future jobs but honestly, I don't know. And with the state of the world, who the hell would? Either way though, I'm loving the experience so far. I'm also taking in media so much differently now which is an interesting experience so I can't wait to try new writing styles and reach different audiences with different content. So definitely follow my work on there. I have my LinkTree up on my blog account so you can follow all my articles there. Let me know in the comments what you think! What does dating during COVID look like? I've never talked about dating on my blog and I probably won't for a long time after this but I peeked into the online dating world for a brief moment and oh my gosh, it's horrid! Haha. This isn't an advice post so I don't meant to be negative but my honest experience was just...a mess. There are no deep, juicy secrets to tell. For the most part I think I was mainly disinterested because of the amount of work I had to put in just to maintain a simple conversation (which clearly tells me I'm not ready to date) but also, I think I was just on the wrong site. I'm not opposed to it in the future, especially with COVID because it seems safer on all aspects when having a conversation with someone. That way if things get creepy I can just stop talking to them instead of having to worry about a bad date experience, but I can only speak on my experience from the talking stage. But I did come away with some thoughts. For one, "the talking stage" fucking sucks. Like come on, what does that even mean? And why does it have to be a stage? There's the talking stage, and then the dating stage, and then you're in a relationship and when you put it like that there just seems like so many steps and rules that are just unnecessary. If we're "talking" I'm assuming that everything else will follow and the intent is to end up in a relationship (in certain environments of course). But as much as I think I knew about the subvert rules to each stage, to have them re-explained and emphasized to me because "I can't text this because it actually means this" or "I can't type back too fast because that's too eager"...is a lot. I'm a straightforward gal so I think when I finally commit to dating, I'll waste less of my time worrying about the finer rules of what you should and shouldn't do and just put myself out there to see who can handle the initial hurdle. It seems like an easier way to rule out the guys who aren't committed to the kind of stages I'm into. Sitting In the BIG CHAIR isn't as daunting as it seems (now that I'm seasoned). I started therapy! Guys, I just have to say this again, it's necessary, it's worth it and it's amazing. I paid for an outside therapist back in late July, early August during the last few weeks of quarantine but since coming back to school I've switched to one here and it's been life changing. I don't want to say it's going to always be amazing and you're going to feel like it's perfect from the very first try but I definitely went through my fair share of research and therapists and groups in order to find my right fit. I might write a post giving a few tips on what's worked for me and how to find your right fit but let me know if you guys would be interested in that. However, I will say I don't regret starting this journey as nerve wracking and uncertain I was about doing so. And if you're on a college campus or if your school offers the services remotely, please take advantage because it truly can ease some of the tension in your life (or at least help you feel like you're not alone). And if you have even a little bit of money saved, it's worth the cost to invest in your mental health. Trust me, especially after this rough time in all of our lives, we all need to check in with our inner voices and make sure they're still okay or at least managing. Biden Bitches! (Actual text to my suite-mates the day of the win) To be honest, I didn't think too far into the future since the last time I did my post on COVID-19 (I don't think anyone had the information to do so anyway) but I never saw this coming. First of all, this election was STRESSFUL. I hope everyone who was able, voted but even if ya'll didn't, God really did His thing cuz a girlie was scared. *Nervous laugh* But to be honest, I still am. Aside from the hostility that many minorities might face in retaliation to the election, the race was so close. The red on the screen was BRIGHT and the way those swing states SWUNG gave me whiplash. But overall this year highlighted the racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia (all the f'ing isms) that still strongly exist and oppress this country and that reality is scary. So I'm relieved and so incredibly happy about the turnout but my question is "now what?" Texas just hit over 1 million covid cases, people are still dying, minority communities are still suffering at the hands of life threatening bigots and truthfully, I don't even know what the world will look like in the spring with COVID-19. The world so desperately wants to go back to normal and I get that but our old “normal” wasn’t working, and our new normal is still something to discover but first we have to make it happen. And right now, the only way to do that is to stop "envisioning" what our future could like and start putting things to action. The people of America (for the most part) have done their share, now it's up to those in office. It's up to those in the labs. The system is clearly broken, we are broken, so why do we keep trying to fix things? When you glue broken pieces back together on vase as if they’ll fit the same way, that doesn't stop the water from leaking out of it. The vase is fragile and has been for awhile, so let’s buy a new fucking vase and move on. Adapt, and embrace change. That doesn't mean I also don't miss off-campus parties and going to my friend's dorms without a mask on but it's something we have to do for the survival of everyone. It's a small sacrifice for the greater good. So, life is okay. It can always be better but I feel like the rest of the world is has to grow stronger before it can be happy. (Shoutout to Pinterest for that one lol). But until then, we have each other, this community, our friends and family and I hope this doesn't stop us from forming connections with the world and strengthening our inner selves because we need all the love, compassion and understanding we can get. That's all for now. Until Next Time! With love, Arianna Hey guys!
It’s back to school season! Which is so weird during these times. Do you go back or do you stay home? Online classes or take the semester off? Can you work or are there other responsibilities? So many questions with hard decisions to make and finally, the time is here. For those of you wondering, I'm back in school safely. I'll be adapting to taking online classes just like some of you but it's an adjustment as I learn how to balance safe socializing and being isolated in my room all day with classes. So far I've been okay but it's an adjustment. The point is, there are always going to be other responsibilities to consider when making these decisions and if you are going back to school it’s easy to think and feel overwhelmed. We’ve been home for months sitting in our jammies and watching Netflix all day. Or we’ve been working and we just can’t seem to catch a break as classes are set to resume in the next couple of weeks. Whatever your situation is, I hope you’re doing okay. But as I’ve talked with many of my friends, the feelings are sort of the same: nervousness, excitement, uncertainty, and just plain fear. So I wanted to give these tips in hopes that they’ll help to push you forward and keep you going once you get back into the swing of things—whether that be school or work or your other responsibilities—I want these tips to be things that can help ease your mind as I let you know, you’re not alone in these thoughts and here are some ways that can help. So let’s get into it! 1. Start slow. I don’t know about you but I was always the girl at the end of a summer break who had to finish her assignments three days before school started. I should have known I was setting myself up because since I never took the proper time to prepare before school, as soon as it did everything else was a steep incline. But given the state of our shaky mental health and constant ‘other’ worries, allow yourself to start slow this year. Plan two weeks ahead if you have to, if you can, but build up to the big things. We're always told at the beginning of the school year that we have to "get back" into our routine but now I’m suggesting that you build that routine from scratch. Figure out what works for you by leaving space for things to be moved around in your schedule until you can mentally handle it and also not be behind in your work. For example, last semester if you used to take your showers at night and do work in the morning but you realize you can get more work done the other way around, recognize that last year, your old schedule wasn't as productive and try something new. Or maybe you were doing all of your assignments one day at a time and always found yourself working and had very little time to rest and socialize. Recognize that so you can drop a club this year in order to make more time for school or dedicate an entire day to work so you have more time for other activities and yourself. But the worst thing would be to try and jump back into things full speed ahead and tackle things the same way we left them because it’s not possible and it’s not fair to ourselves. We’re changed, we’re also a little rusty, and that’s okay but we need to take the time to be patient with ourselves so that we don’t easily become overwhelmed and burnout before we’ve even begun. So start slow, build your schedule and routine simultaneously that way once things are running full speed you’ll be at the same pace and feel more comfortable with yourself because you took the time to relearn your old habits or create new ones. 2. Ask for help. When things become overwhelming it can be so easy to just try to figure it out for yourself. Everyone is going through their own thing, you don’t want to bother them, maybe you’re not even sure what questions to ask and that’s okay. Everything else may be attempting to go back to normal but everyone is also learning their routines just like you are and if you’re struggling don’t hesitate to ask those closest to you for help because maybe, they can actually help. Or maybe they can just provide the comfort in letting you know that you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed. See if you and your friends can work together such as studying over zoom calls or planning your classes together over the phone. Allow yourself to be supported by others and to stumble through this new online work/social life balance but also allow those closest to you to help you up when you fall and then you’ll be better prepared to do the same for them. But if you don’t ask, you’ll never know and no one likes a martyr who suffers in silence—not your friends who only want to be there to help you, not your advisors who are getting paid to help (that you’re technically paying) and not you who’s struggling without the help. 3. Which brings me to my next point which is to Check in. College especially can become very isolating when you and your friends run on different schedules and now maybe you don’t even live with some of your closest friends anymore. Adding to the new hybrid and online learning systems it may feel like a chore to have to reach out because you have so much on your plate, but it’s understandable. But what we need to recognize and take away from these months of isolation is that connecting with people no matter how you feel is so incredibly important for mental health and we need to take it seriously. So even if it feels like a chore, take five minutes out of your day to text a friend. Even if you don’t feel like talking, just say 'hey' to let them know you’re there and so you can feel the presence of being with someone. And if you are fortunate enough to be in a safe environment on campus with your friends, dedicate time in your day: five minutes, ten minutes, just to meet with them and say 'hey, how are you doing?' Just those simple check ins can mean a lot and can go a long way because the worst feeling is loneliness while alone but it’s even worse to think that nobody cares when really so many people do. But it can be hard to take those initial first steps, so make a mental reminder or have you and your friends take accountability for each other to reach out at least once. It doesn’t have to be with the same people everyday but just to say you had social interaction today—even if you’re home, you either FaceTimed someone, texted, waved to someone from your window--something because the last thing we need to do is isolate ourselves in our work too. 4. Take Breaks. Another thing quarantine has shown me is that our society needs to learn how to slowww downnn. And it sucks that it had to happen in this way but now that we’re trying to get back on our feet, I feel like it’d be counterproductive to go back to our old and admittedly bad habits. We were always on the go, we never had enough time and suddenly, that's all we had and we realized, was any of it really worth it? What really holds value in our lives: moving fast and filling it with so many things to do or taking time for family, friends and most importantly, yourself? Granted, sometimes life moves too fast for us to catch up. There’s always something for us to do but we never don't have enough time to take five, ten, fifteen minutes to close our eyes and breathe. Or take a nap or do something fun that makes us happy because our happiness is what should be sustaining us, not our obligations. So schedule your breaks, because those moments are going to be the times you'll need to regroup, recharge, reflect and that's just as important as your work. Pushing yourself to go past your work limit breaks down your mental health and right now all we want to do is try and build it back up, so let’s stay consistent with our self care and personal time because we need to make that just as much a part of our routine as we need to do our laundry. Disclaimer: Showers, painting your nails, five minute dance parties, naps, watching your 30 minute John Oliver episode all count as self care and breaks but it can also be something more regulated and less spontaneous such as dedicating time to your face care every night because it helps calm you down. It should always be something you look forward to that allows you to take a step away from everything and you have to commit to it fully in order for it to work. Even if you have to set a timer, make sure it gets done even if you have to go right back into work after. 5. Create Boundaries. We all want to be there for each other, and we all want to be as active and involved as possible because we’ve missed out on so much. I mean, nothing was actually happening but time has slipped away from us and we feel like we have to make up for months of boredom and isolation, which is completely valid but we also need to remember our boundaries. Mentally allowing too much in at once can get overwhelming (as odd as that might sound) and we may slack on our responsibilities later or suddenly be overcommitted to too many things and loose interest fast. Not to say you can’t change your mind but when it comes to close friendships and things you loved doing that are suddenly feeling more like a burden because you have to ‘make up all this time’ you’re not setting the boundaries within yourself to enjoy the thing but also step back and reflect on why these things are important to you and why they make you happy. So set boundaries by saying you’ll commit to your closest friends and your favorite clubs this year that way you don't overload your level or responsibilities but it's also within your right to switch clubs or make new friends or focus on your emotional growth and healing. Make the executive decision to say no to talking on the phone out if your social battery is running low because your friends will still be there tomorrow but cling to the moments that truly mean something because I know the world is still a scary place to be right now. But you don't have to run yourself dry in desperation to hold onto something you don't have any control over. Setting those boundaries again will help you to affirm who you want to be in your life through the things you chose to make a priority, but also define what roles you want to play outside of school commitments and helping to maintain that work/social balance. Physically, there is still a pandemic guys so let’s not take free liberties in hopping from room to room with no mask and no social distancing. Set the terms for what you want and will allow into your personal space and then stick to those rules. Whether that be one person at a time social distancing in your room or having two friends max with hand sanitizer at the door and the door open. But don’t let anyone tell you or convince you to let go of those boundaries that put your health and safety at risk. If they can’t follow your rules then you’ll need to either meet with them only in public spaces where they have no choice but to follow them or you may have to reevaluate ways in which you hang out with that person. You’re not being mean, but as much as you’re protecting yourself you’re protecting them too and everyone needs to take this seriously. Just because we’re starting back up again doesn’t mean that everything is normal, it’s not normal but it’s something we all have to learn how to work around and we all have to do our part in order to keep things operational or else we’ll go right back to the way we were three months ago. 6. And last but not least, Break things down. I talk about being overwhelmed and taking things slow but a part of that is also not letting your to-do list fill up with too much at once. It’s easy to say as soon as you get an assignment, 'do it' but that’s not always realistic. Though, it might be more realistic to dedicate a day to homework tasks and household chores throughout the week. Along with your breaks schedule time to fold your laundry if you forgot the last time or start an assignment that’s coming up that you could squeeze in before you have your online zoom club meeting but would probably make life easier if you just did it now. It’s all a part of being a responsible adult. Blah. Ew. I know, but sometimes you have to realize that you’re never going to want to do things but you have to. In order to look out for your future self, push yourself while your task list is still low, that way even if it piles up for the week it’s not piled up from last week too. And that’s the end of my list! I know it’s titled ‘how to find motivation’ but to be honest, I’m not sure if this list actually helps with that. I can confidently say that my motivation went on a hike in February and got lost in the mountains somewhere. So right now I’m scrambling to find her and bring her ass back but she don’t have cell service sooo. lmao. But my point is, to find it within yourself to ‘work hard’ and ‘be motivated’ isn’t as easy as flicking on and off a switch. The country has gone through a trauma and we’re still living through one right now but attempting to be ‘okay’ isn’t what’s going to help us get through this. Taking time to be patient with ourselves but staying vigilant in all things health and safety is the only way this can work. Our motivation will come from finding our routine and rediscovering ourselves within our old habits and learning how to work around the new disadvantages and limits within ourselves and the world. So don’t force anything if you don’t have to, stay true to the path that you’re on and even if you don’t know what that is yet, stay true to yourself so that when you find that path, your motivation is coming from a place of substance and not a fragile state of false sustenance. Love always, Arianna 5/11/2020 0 Comments Ex(pose)sureWhen sunlight hits against,
Elevated cheekbones without your favorite highlighter; And golden hues reflect on uneven toned skin. Your lashes close, dusting your cheeks And your lips are chapped and shaking. You are vulnerable. You are selfish. You are vain. You are skin. When your palms are dry and cracked, Aching, as skin is stretched taught as it reaches for tangible dreams in the sky; Your fingertips graze the clouds of possibilities, But only raindrops fall and drench your sleeves; Your wrists are wet and damp uncomfortably. You are yearning. You are eager. You are hopeful. You are skin. When the light is no longer working for your bathroom mirror, And you’ve run out of acne cream; When your favorite waxing salon has closed down, And you really can’t afford another pair of new jeans… When there are no longer any more clothes to hide under, The dark circles are big enough for everyone to find; When you are naked and standing in the mirror, With no one but yourself to look you in the eye. When your heart aches for the things your hands cannot touch; And your voice is but a whisper after all the words you still didn’t say, Your body reflects the life you’ve lived; And your body is all the love you are. You are torn, You are broken, You are scars, cuts and bruises… And you are skin. I know this kind of ended on a depressing note but first I want to say HI! How are you? I know it’s been so long and the world is really crazy right now. I debated giving a life update--I finished my first year of university (yay!), I made some amazing friends (who really do make the world go round), I’m developing a strong mental, emotional and physical health (we love a growing Queen), and I’m going through this pandemic crises just like all of you. So with that in mind, I decided against the update and created this instead instead. This was an idea that I had in mind for a really long time and I finally created the aesthetic and the pictures to go with it but had no idea what I wanted to create with it until I finally thought--poetry, duh! It's been awhile since we've seen any on the blog so I was excited to share it. Anyways, in spirit of us all going through similar life experiences, (though completely unrelated), I wanted to share a poem about how societal pressures of beauty force us to see things as these imperfections that need to be fixed or covered up. When really, our raw and most authentic and unedited selves are the most beautiful because that’s who we really are and how could we not want to love ourselves? Even though it can be hard. We have to learn and love and appreciate that inner self so that it can reflect to our outer selves before we allow these corporations tell us what they think we’re missing from our lives. After we understand that: "Makeup or no makeup, I’m still beautiful", then we can pile on everything else materialistic and superficial because makeup is fucking fun and it makes you feel fun and sexy and confident. And in the end, that's all any one of us wants to feel on the inside. The point of this or anything really is to help us truly understand who we are and what parts of ourselves we want to reflect to the world--of course the best parts, but are those “best parts” truly you? Or are they the metaphorical “makeup” that we choose to hide behind because we think people will like that version of ourselves better? So make sure you're doing things to feed that inner beauty and not because society tells you there's something wrong with who you really are. Either way, I really thought this poem could help some of you guys to look at the inner and outer beauty being reflected differently through words. DISCLAIMER! I am not calling anyone selfish or vain, I am speaking to the corporations who tell us that we need something more/other than ourselves in order to feel or be beautiful. I definitely played with words and meanings behind punctuation in this poem so I really hope you guys enjoyed. I’m hoping to learn how to reclaim and define definitions of words in life and through my writing that are used to tear us down so that’s kind of my intention behind this. I love you guys, I really hope you guys are all staying safe, staying healthy and I’ll talk to you soon. Until Next Time. With love, Arianna 8/12/2018 0 Comments A Note to myself about self-love
Listen to the audio, (use headphones for better sound), watch the clips. Enjoy! A note to myself about self-love
Loving yourself isn’t just about having confidence or loving how you look in the mirror. It’s definitely a part of it, maybe even the most important part, but it’s not all of it. Loving yourself is about learning to love your failures and your flaws. Your mistakes, your regrets, and learning that they aren’t so bad now, because they made you into the person you are today. Loving yourself is learning to forgive but not forget. Knowing when it’s time to let go and keep moving on with your life because dwelling on the past is only going to keep you from seeing your future. And stop constantly blaming others. It only takes the blame off of you for a little while, but it doesn’t change the situation. Loving yourself is learning how to say sorry-to others- but more importantly, to yourself. Learn to apologize to yourself for being so hard on yourself for things you had no control over, Or for things that you did, and you just messed up. We all mess up sometimes, but learning to love yourself is learning to understand that it's only sometimes, not all the time, and we’ll get better at these things as we grow older and learn. It teaches you empathy; and that even you have your limits, despite how perfect you may think you are or may want to be. Learning how to love yourself may entail getting hurt in the process. You may loose a few friends, have a few bad relationships or just have a really bad experience, And you want to beat yourself up about it over and over again, but learning to love yourself means accepting this terrible phase in life and knowing that it will pass -The pain, the confusion, the regret-it doesn’t last forever. And loving yourself is trying to figure out the real lesson you’re supposed to learn from all of this, not dwell on “What if?” Learning to love yourself is not learning “a better way to love others.” Learning to love yourself is learning to love yourself. All parts of yourself-the good and the bad-and being happy with that person. No regrets, no mistakes. Acceptance; and eventually...happiness. It’s something we all want to achieve-self-love-and something we all need to work at. It may take a while, or you may wake up one day and suddenly feel like your best self. But until then, here’s a gentle reminder on How to Love Myself. Hi guys! Did you enjoy hearing my voice? I hope the file opened for you with no problem. Putting this together was such a struggle but I finally got it up and I’m so excited! I’m trying to get more acquainted with making videos and editing for you guys. I want to keep things interesting on here because as you all know, I can talk (write) all day but sometimes it’s nice to change things up a bit and I thought recording this would be fun. I don’t own any of the images, in case you were wondering. I have them all on my Pinterest account though so follow me on there at MusicManiac and you can see all the stuff I pin, including these photos. I hope you all enjoyed this little bit of prose and Until Next Time! With love, Arianna Song in recording: Hearing-Sleeping At Last |
AuthorI'm an 21 year old girl who lives in NY. I love to read and write and fashion is my life. Follow me to find out more! Archives
January 2023
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