Hey guys!
It’s back to school season! Which is so weird during these times. Do you go back or do you stay home? Online classes or take the semester off? Can you work or are there other responsibilities? So many questions with hard decisions to make and finally, the time is here. For those of you wondering, I'm back in school safely. I'll be adapting to taking online classes just like some of you but it's an adjustment as I learn how to balance safe socializing and being isolated in my room all day with classes. So far I've been okay but it's an adjustment. The point is, there are always going to be other responsibilities to consider when making these decisions and if you are going back to school it’s easy to think and feel overwhelmed. We’ve been home for months sitting in our jammies and watching Netflix all day. Or we’ve been working and we just can’t seem to catch a break as classes are set to resume in the next couple of weeks. Whatever your situation is, I hope you’re doing okay. But as I’ve talked with many of my friends, the feelings are sort of the same: nervousness, excitement, uncertainty, and just plain fear. So I wanted to give these tips in hopes that they’ll help to push you forward and keep you going once you get back into the swing of things—whether that be school or work or your other responsibilities—I want these tips to be things that can help ease your mind as I let you know, you’re not alone in these thoughts and here are some ways that can help. So let’s get into it! 1. Start slow. I don’t know about you but I was always the girl at the end of a summer break who had to finish her assignments three days before school started. I should have known I was setting myself up because since I never took the proper time to prepare before school, as soon as it did everything else was a steep incline. But given the state of our shaky mental health and constant ‘other’ worries, allow yourself to start slow this year. Plan two weeks ahead if you have to, if you can, but build up to the big things. We're always told at the beginning of the school year that we have to "get back" into our routine but now I’m suggesting that you build that routine from scratch. Figure out what works for you by leaving space for things to be moved around in your schedule until you can mentally handle it and also not be behind in your work. For example, last semester if you used to take your showers at night and do work in the morning but you realize you can get more work done the other way around, recognize that last year, your old schedule wasn't as productive and try something new. Or maybe you were doing all of your assignments one day at a time and always found yourself working and had very little time to rest and socialize. Recognize that so you can drop a club this year in order to make more time for school or dedicate an entire day to work so you have more time for other activities and yourself. But the worst thing would be to try and jump back into things full speed ahead and tackle things the same way we left them because it’s not possible and it’s not fair to ourselves. We’re changed, we’re also a little rusty, and that’s okay but we need to take the time to be patient with ourselves so that we don’t easily become overwhelmed and burnout before we’ve even begun. So start slow, build your schedule and routine simultaneously that way once things are running full speed you’ll be at the same pace and feel more comfortable with yourself because you took the time to relearn your old habits or create new ones. 2. Ask for help. When things become overwhelming it can be so easy to just try to figure it out for yourself. Everyone is going through their own thing, you don’t want to bother them, maybe you’re not even sure what questions to ask and that’s okay. Everything else may be attempting to go back to normal but everyone is also learning their routines just like you are and if you’re struggling don’t hesitate to ask those closest to you for help because maybe, they can actually help. Or maybe they can just provide the comfort in letting you know that you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed. See if you and your friends can work together such as studying over zoom calls or planning your classes together over the phone. Allow yourself to be supported by others and to stumble through this new online work/social life balance but also allow those closest to you to help you up when you fall and then you’ll be better prepared to do the same for them. But if you don’t ask, you’ll never know and no one likes a martyr who suffers in silence—not your friends who only want to be there to help you, not your advisors who are getting paid to help (that you’re technically paying) and not you who’s struggling without the help. 3. Which brings me to my next point which is to Check in. College especially can become very isolating when you and your friends run on different schedules and now maybe you don’t even live with some of your closest friends anymore. Adding to the new hybrid and online learning systems it may feel like a chore to have to reach out because you have so much on your plate, but it’s understandable. But what we need to recognize and take away from these months of isolation is that connecting with people no matter how you feel is so incredibly important for mental health and we need to take it seriously. So even if it feels like a chore, take five minutes out of your day to text a friend. Even if you don’t feel like talking, just say 'hey' to let them know you’re there and so you can feel the presence of being with someone. And if you are fortunate enough to be in a safe environment on campus with your friends, dedicate time in your day: five minutes, ten minutes, just to meet with them and say 'hey, how are you doing?' Just those simple check ins can mean a lot and can go a long way because the worst feeling is loneliness while alone but it’s even worse to think that nobody cares when really so many people do. But it can be hard to take those initial first steps, so make a mental reminder or have you and your friends take accountability for each other to reach out at least once. It doesn’t have to be with the same people everyday but just to say you had social interaction today—even if you’re home, you either FaceTimed someone, texted, waved to someone from your window--something because the last thing we need to do is isolate ourselves in our work too. 4. Take Breaks. Another thing quarantine has shown me is that our society needs to learn how to slowww downnn. And it sucks that it had to happen in this way but now that we’re trying to get back on our feet, I feel like it’d be counterproductive to go back to our old and admittedly bad habits. We were always on the go, we never had enough time and suddenly, that's all we had and we realized, was any of it really worth it? What really holds value in our lives: moving fast and filling it with so many things to do or taking time for family, friends and most importantly, yourself? Granted, sometimes life moves too fast for us to catch up. There’s always something for us to do but we never don't have enough time to take five, ten, fifteen minutes to close our eyes and breathe. Or take a nap or do something fun that makes us happy because our happiness is what should be sustaining us, not our obligations. So schedule your breaks, because those moments are going to be the times you'll need to regroup, recharge, reflect and that's just as important as your work. Pushing yourself to go past your work limit breaks down your mental health and right now all we want to do is try and build it back up, so let’s stay consistent with our self care and personal time because we need to make that just as much a part of our routine as we need to do our laundry. Disclaimer: Showers, painting your nails, five minute dance parties, naps, watching your 30 minute John Oliver episode all count as self care and breaks but it can also be something more regulated and less spontaneous such as dedicating time to your face care every night because it helps calm you down. It should always be something you look forward to that allows you to take a step away from everything and you have to commit to it fully in order for it to work. Even if you have to set a timer, make sure it gets done even if you have to go right back into work after. 5. Create Boundaries. We all want to be there for each other, and we all want to be as active and involved as possible because we’ve missed out on so much. I mean, nothing was actually happening but time has slipped away from us and we feel like we have to make up for months of boredom and isolation, which is completely valid but we also need to remember our boundaries. Mentally allowing too much in at once can get overwhelming (as odd as that might sound) and we may slack on our responsibilities later or suddenly be overcommitted to too many things and loose interest fast. Not to say you can’t change your mind but when it comes to close friendships and things you loved doing that are suddenly feeling more like a burden because you have to ‘make up all this time’ you’re not setting the boundaries within yourself to enjoy the thing but also step back and reflect on why these things are important to you and why they make you happy. So set boundaries by saying you’ll commit to your closest friends and your favorite clubs this year that way you don't overload your level or responsibilities but it's also within your right to switch clubs or make new friends or focus on your emotional growth and healing. Make the executive decision to say no to talking on the phone out if your social battery is running low because your friends will still be there tomorrow but cling to the moments that truly mean something because I know the world is still a scary place to be right now. But you don't have to run yourself dry in desperation to hold onto something you don't have any control over. Setting those boundaries again will help you to affirm who you want to be in your life through the things you chose to make a priority, but also define what roles you want to play outside of school commitments and helping to maintain that work/social balance. Physically, there is still a pandemic guys so let’s not take free liberties in hopping from room to room with no mask and no social distancing. Set the terms for what you want and will allow into your personal space and then stick to those rules. Whether that be one person at a time social distancing in your room or having two friends max with hand sanitizer at the door and the door open. But don’t let anyone tell you or convince you to let go of those boundaries that put your health and safety at risk. If they can’t follow your rules then you’ll need to either meet with them only in public spaces where they have no choice but to follow them or you may have to reevaluate ways in which you hang out with that person. You’re not being mean, but as much as you’re protecting yourself you’re protecting them too and everyone needs to take this seriously. Just because we’re starting back up again doesn’t mean that everything is normal, it’s not normal but it’s something we all have to learn how to work around and we all have to do our part in order to keep things operational or else we’ll go right back to the way we were three months ago. 6. And last but not least, Break things down. I talk about being overwhelmed and taking things slow but a part of that is also not letting your to-do list fill up with too much at once. It’s easy to say as soon as you get an assignment, 'do it' but that’s not always realistic. Though, it might be more realistic to dedicate a day to homework tasks and household chores throughout the week. Along with your breaks schedule time to fold your laundry if you forgot the last time or start an assignment that’s coming up that you could squeeze in before you have your online zoom club meeting but would probably make life easier if you just did it now. It’s all a part of being a responsible adult. Blah. Ew. I know, but sometimes you have to realize that you’re never going to want to do things but you have to. In order to look out for your future self, push yourself while your task list is still low, that way even if it piles up for the week it’s not piled up from last week too. And that’s the end of my list! I know it’s titled ‘how to find motivation’ but to be honest, I’m not sure if this list actually helps with that. I can confidently say that my motivation went on a hike in February and got lost in the mountains somewhere. So right now I’m scrambling to find her and bring her ass back but she don’t have cell service sooo. lmao. But my point is, to find it within yourself to ‘work hard’ and ‘be motivated’ isn’t as easy as flicking on and off a switch. The country has gone through a trauma and we’re still living through one right now but attempting to be ‘okay’ isn’t what’s going to help us get through this. Taking time to be patient with ourselves but staying vigilant in all things health and safety is the only way this can work. Our motivation will come from finding our routine and rediscovering ourselves within our old habits and learning how to work around the new disadvantages and limits within ourselves and the world. So don’t force anything if you don’t have to, stay true to the path that you’re on and even if you don’t know what that is yet, stay true to yourself so that when you find that path, your motivation is coming from a place of substance and not a fragile state of false sustenance. Love always, Arianna
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AuthorI'm an 21 year old girl who lives in NY. I love to read and write and fashion is my life. Follow me to find out more! Archives
January 2023
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