1/30/2021 0 Comments Let's talk about therapy baby!Welcome back to INTUITIVE MINDS NYC where we’re finally FINALLY talking about the things this title pertains to. So I can’t wait to get into this list of tips with you but know that I only speak from personal experience. Nor am I encouraging or attempting to discourage anyone to try it if they don’t feel it's right for them or not within their means to seek it out. Though I will say, if it can be an option for you, it worked well for me and it might be worth looking into if you’re interested. So stay tuned for tips, stories and opinions as you follow through another part of my mental health journey. *hand smiling emoji* My ExperienceLooking back at the year that was 2020I'm not surprised that my mental health took a certain nosedive because there was so much shit going on. But to everyone who struggled and made it through, I’m so proud of you--of us--because we literally were put to the test and made it out alive. And for everyone still struggling with their mental health I’m sorry and I’m here for you and this community is here for you and supports you through your journey. But I think the one thing I had to learn starting January, peaking in March and breaking down in July, was that mental health is and always will be a journey. Anxiety and depression are things I’m probably going to live with for the rest of my life and all the time things aren’t going to be happy. All the time things also aren’t going to be complete shit and when things do hit the fan that doesn’t mean that I’ve failed, it just means that I'm going through a particularly hard time in life. And that happens, to everyone. I needed to learn how not to define myself by my mental health struggles and the illness itself as who I am. I am not an anxious person, I am simply someone who suffers from anxiety from time to time. Nor does that excuse poor behavior when it comes to taking care of myself and the ways I needed to learn how to exist in the world again. But I think I'm getting ahead of myself here. What I mainly learned was that I can’t do everything on my own. I needed help, so before I even reached out to a therapist, I reached out to a friend of mine who really helped me through such a hard time. (I love you Andre! *kisses*) More than anything, you need to identify yourself with a support system. Someone you can turn to and talk to and just cry and vent to. Or someone who can just be there if all you feel is nothing in the moment. So after reaching out to him and a few other close friends of mine, I was directed to a list of resources that I’ll share with you guys down below. It listed options for therapy sites as well as Instagram accounts that allowed me to feel better about my feed--as well as hotlines to help coax you down if you don’t feel as if you have the support system in your personal life to talk to about these things. zencare.coThe resource list listed Zencare.co as the online therapy site where I could vet therapists according to location, insurance and finances. Though I know there are other places such as Betterhelp that offer similar resources in terms of searching for help (though I think Betterhelp is a little more expensive). Many people were doing discounted rates during the time of March and July which is when I was referred to them so I ended up paying out of pocket for someone near my location and started the princess for interviewing. The one thing that made me go with Zencare instead of Betterhelp is that they pair you with a therapist based off of a series of questions that you answer. They still ask for your preferences and the type of care you think you might need but you don’t decide in the end who you’re paired with. Granted, you can switch therapists as often as you want but that was a process I didn’t want to go through at the time. I personally thought Zencare gave me more freedom. interviewingI think the one thing I had to learn was that vetting a therapist is just like anything. You want someone who can give you the best care, that can tailor most specifically to your needs and simply put, you can connect with. It’s like orientation day where you’re introducing yourself and making all of these connections but only a few of them become your friends. And in a way you want your therapist to be someone you can talk with and feel comfortable sharing your issues with. Now I know there is the stigma for mental health for POC who frequently feel their needs being misheard or misunderstood because there are rarely people that look like us in these fields. I will say that I did end up looking for someone who looked like me but it also depends on your level of comfortability on whether or not you can speak with a white woman about your black upbringing. There’s a difference and there will always be a level of uncertainty about how honest you can truly be with this person. Though, both of these sites give you the option to tailor your therapist to your needs and if you can’t find someone you’re comfortable with, then you keep trying until you do. It can be a draining process but it’s necessary. I went through a few phone interviews before settling on my person. And I became used to some of the questions that were being asked and began to expect what would be expected of me in therapy and what I should look for when I was speaking with this person. 1. Do the questions and answers flow? (Does it feel natural to talk and hold a conversation with them? Awkward pauses are natural, especially if you’re nervous but is the therapist able to engage you and keep you talking? Do you feel like they truly understand what you’re talking about when you speak to them?) 2. What are you coming to therapy for? 3. What are experiencing--feelings, physical sensations 4. What do you hope to accomplish in therapy--personal goals, mental goals: ex. ways to manage, solution to problems 5. Have you been in therapy before? If so, what did you explore with your last therapist? 6. What are you looking for in a therapist? These are just to name a few, but the main thing to do is to make sure you ask all of your questions. Things like: do you take my insurance, how often a week will we be meeting, how do you handle patients like me specifically (ex. 19 year old in college with x problems), what do your therapy techniques look like? You want to be able to truly gage if you would be a good fit for their service and if they would be able to do the same for you. Ask for clarification on things they say that you may not understand. Therapists have their own kind of language and you want to be able to understand what they’re talking about if you don’t already. Words like [blank] might come up based on the type of therapy and therapist you’re looking at. Make sure you ask what that means and how that pertains to them being able to treat you. It’s important to walk away from the conversation with enough information so that you can make a decision but it all boils down to the way you feel. If you’re comfortable with this person and can financially afford them, take the risk and always ask about their cancellation process. For the most part you can cancel therapy at any time free of charge (as long as you tell them in advance so they stop charging you) and you can switch if you find that they’re not the perfect match for you. The initial interview call usually lasts for 15 minutes and is free of charge as well which is something to note. Maybe schedule them throughout the week and then look at your notes for each person to see who you want to give the callback. But it’s also understanding to feel drained by the end of this process as well. Forcing yourself to talk about your mental health struggles can be draining so take the time to reflect on what it is that you need and what you’re feeling apart from the interview itself. CostsSince I’ve only gone through Zencare I’m more familiar with their financial process but I’ll try to link both options below. Zencare has a sliding scale option which I loved because it’s a way to allow people who don’t have insurance or are low income to be able to find ways to afford therapy. (Cuz we all know that shit can be expensive) and while I know the pandemic during its peak was a specific time, the sliding sale is still in place. It allowed me to pay out of pocket and to have me be financially responsible for my care--which can be really helpful for those who don’t want their caretakers to know that they’re going to therapy if it’s something you’d rather keep to yourself. It enabled me to pay out of pocket but it’s always something you should talk and ask about with the therapist you intend to work with just to see if you can have the prices lowered. They usually have a number there but negotiation can go a long way, especially if you can explain a little bit of your financial situation. People are more likely to be flexible during these times, especially if you’re college aged. Though there’s also an option to have financial aid which gave me a discount when I signed up for Betterhelp which also has a mixture of sliding scale options and insurance supported options. Though the one thing to note is that therapy is rarely covered by insurance and as discouraging as that can be, it’s also something to plan when looking at your options. If you'd have insurance, see how much of your care would be covered, and if the sliding scale option works out better for you financially and personally then go with that instead. I had to put in certain information but nothing that went through my school or required tax information when it came to the financial aid for Betterhelp though. “To continue, to continue, that is what is necessary”- Van GoghAnd that’s it for part one! I hope you guys enjoyed. Hopefully this can be a little bit useful for anyone who’s curious or unsure about therapy. I just want to say that I am no expert or professional, I’m figuring all of this stuff out just the same way you are. But Ilearned that we’re all just a little bit more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, therapy doesn’t always have to be for emergencies--it can be a way to simply check in with yourself. And it’s not always unattainable for POC as long as we know that we have options out there. The part 2 of this series will be giving alternative options to traditional therapy because I know it still can’t be an option for everyone. Either way, be kind to yourself and one another. The greatest investment we can ever make in this world will be in ourselves.
Wishing you all peace of mind and heart! With love, Arianna
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*deep brEaths in, deep breaths out*Hi guys. There’s a lot going on, I know. And if you’re anything like me, in the beginning things left me feeling rushed, confused, panicked, upset, a little scared, and overwhelmed. But that’s okay, because these feelings are so valid. COVID-19 has affected so many people in the biggest and smallest of ways. I am now home, as the rest of my spring semester has been cancelled, and I am to start online classes this upcoming Monday. It’s going to be a tough and odd transition but I wanted to speak to the college students who not only lost their end of year experiences and celebrations--especially the seniors who, for some, have had their celebrations completely cancelled. You've worked so hard to get where you are and I hope you get the celebrations you deserve--but to those who have lost the financial stability and the environmental security that their college or university has provided for them. I just wanted to start this out by saying your voice is being heard and your struggle is valid even if it’s being made to feel anything less than during this time. So, with this eminent and violently active threat spreading across the globe, I also want to tell people that this is an abrupt and disruptive transition for everyone, so be as sympathetic as you are cautious. Not everyone can afford to stay home but that does not mean that everyone can’t take the proper steps to keep safe. I don’t want to go into too much detail about this--if you don’t already, follow me on Instagram because I briefly talked about this on my story as well--but I don’t want this to be a staple on my blog where it’s seen as an opportunity to take advantage of a very troubling time; also, I, as some of you probably are as well, am becoming overwhelmed with the influx of news so I still want my blog to harbor a safe and creative space that can be used as a place of security for some all the while offering the emotional support that I and this community can. In light of this, however, I did come up with a list of things to do during this time. I know that it says “during college breaks” but that is simply because I am in college. But these tips can be used for everyone and anyone who is home and needs to make time move along faster. However, this post will later list tips on staying safe, what social distancing actually means and two video links that have really helped me to understand more of what’s going on during these troubling times. But for now, here’s a list of Things to do During College Breaks. RestI saw a list similar to the one that I’m creating on Pinterest and at the top, the person said that we should rest but not too much. We don’t want to mess up our schedule with getting too much or too little sleep, which I always can agree, though I’m currently up at 2am writing this post when normally I would be asleep. So I guess my advice to you would be to do what works best for you. Don’t force sleep just because you can, try to be regulated in waking up because schedules really help your body stay consistent and not get tired throughout the day, but also adjust to your normal schedule as well. So if you’re normally up at these times when you’re off break, do the same thing you’ve been doing. I think getting more sleep only works if you’ve been getting less than you should during school. So catch up on that and sleep in if you normally have 8ams but try not to go to bed later if you don’t normally do so because it messes up your schedule. Read!As you guys already know, I have my 20 books to finish by the end of 2020 and I’ve done so well guys! I’m seven books into the list and I’m excited to pick up where I left off while being home. I think reading for pleasure is so good because it allows you to simply relax and discover something new--either about yourself or someone else. I’m going to go right ahead here and say “reading is fundamental” because it is! And it can be enjoyable as well. Maybe invite a friend to read a book with you, so you guys can keep each other accountable and be able to talk about it together. Though, I know not everyone enjoys reading per se so it’s a great thing that audiobooks are a thing! Try out audible. I’m trying not to add anymore books to my list because then I’ll get distracted and won’t finish the original list, but just know I have a whole new slew of books to share with you guys that I can hopefully have time to tackle by the end of this year. Clean and reorganize.I can’t lie to you guys and say that I’m not a little messy, especially during midterms and finals week. But since coming home in a scramble, I’ve realized that my room needs an even bigger makeover since leaving for college was also a rush and a scramble. Lol. I don’t want to think of this as a dreadful task or chore however, especially since I love how it feels to have a clean, messy free space. So to make things more enjoyable, I’ve created a playlist for you guys! Follow me on Spotify for all my other playlists but this one is specifically for staying home and tedious chores. I’ve been discovering new music too so we can enjoy this playlist together as we decide whether that shirt on the floor is clean or only “slightly” dirty. Haha. NetflixNeed I say more? Catching up on our movies and tv shows are all we live for during breaks. Sit down and just binge, baby. You’ve earned it. I normally would suggest going out to see that new movie that just came out but in spirit of remaining indoors, stream on amazon prime to watch famous titles (that you know and I love) such as Aladdin (guys, I really loved that live action. Best remake they ever did.), A Quiet Place (because A Quiet Place 2 is coming out soon! I hope it’s a little better than the first one.), or Avengers (because why the hell not and because I shamefully don’t not have Disney Plus. Yet). Again, this is another activity you can still do with friends as you both watch the movie and have each other on FaceTime, or with your family as you use this time to connect at home. I’ve recently started a Netflix original called The Dragon Prince. It’s a cartoon and I’m loving it so far. It’s a huge mental break as I also rewatch Greys Anatomy from season 1 again. Lol. Connect with friends and familyI know this can be hard when you and your friends are so close but must remain so far, but the power of technology shall never fail us! FaceTime, text, voice messages, do what you can to stay connected. Just because you’re far apart doesn’t mean relationships die and all connections are lost. Keep in contact for everyone’s sanity but while you’re home, enjoy being with your family for as much as you can. You’ll need them as you learn to readjust. Start a new project!Projects sound BIG but I like to think big when I have five to six months to plan. They also give you something to look forward to doing everyday. Granted, we still have online classes BUT now you’re home with nothing and no one demanding your physical presence, so take advantage and maybe work on making new music (or creating a new playlist!), or a redecorating your room. I want to write another short story so in between homework I’ll be writing up new scenes. It’ll help keep your mind off of time moving soo...slowly... and it’ll keep your mind busy. Maybe this is the time to start working on that research project you thought you’d have to wait another year to do. It can be educational or it can be something fun but definitely make it something to aspire towards. Take up a new hobbyThat keyboard that your mom got you for your fifteenth birthday that you threw in a closet and never used? Yeah, pull it out, dust it off and learn how to play a few notes. Learn a new song! Take up painting, or knitting, or photography. Learn to ride a skateboard. Bake! Now’s the time to tap into your creative side. You don’t want to loose it! So start your blog or your YouTube channel or your website. Or pick up on a hobby you used to love but have lost time for. My violin looks kind of abandoned in my closet at the moment. Maybe it’s time I picked it up again... Social media breaksThis time is a break above anything else, so treat it as such. We all know how draining social media can be and as much as we want to stay in contact with friends, disconnecting every once in awhile is okay too. It can sometimes be necessary in order to clear your mind and just enjoy the day. So let people know that you’re going off the grid and then just take a day to notice the world around you. Take a walk, center yourself, mediate and just think and focus on you and your life. It’ll leave you more at peace for the next day or few days to come. Self careIt’s so important! Before going home for break I was scrambling to finish big projects for midterms and my stress and anxiety levels were so high. But I’m on break now so I’m using this time to pamper and check in with myself. Do your face masks, run a bath as often as you can, journal and just revive your mental health. Especially now when the future is a little uncertain, you want to have used this time to get you mentally and physically prepared for what’s coming next. And you want to be able to enjoy your break with a fresh mind and a calm heart. Catch up on work!We are still taking classes online so please remember we have homework due. (Cough cough to myself. Lol). But if you’re on break and have assignments or things due when you go back, get ahead or get caught up in whatever way you can. You don’t want to loose too much motivation, that you completely forget everything when coming back. And if you don’t have any work due, then task yourself with looking and applying to jobs and internships for the summer. Some of you may be working now but it always helps to plan ahead for the future. I hope these tips were helpful for you. I’m definitely going to be practicing as many of these as I can. From here on, I will be giving you tips and advice on staying safe with as much information as I can, but I highly recommend you constantly check up on the CDC website. The most reliable updates will be on there. SoCial distancing: what is it?Social distancing is deliberately increasing the physical space between people to avoid spreading illness. Staying at least six feet away from other people lessens your chances of catching COVID-19. (Source: Hopkinsmedicine.org) Practicing social distancing by staying indoors is the easiest way to avoid from contracting and spreading the virus, however staying indoors all day can negatively affect mental health. This is why it’s important to note that social distancing can still be applied to when going outside--whether it’s for leisure or it’s for work--and is best practiced when six feet away to avoid getting caught by a wayward cough or sneeze. Tips for staying safe!Wash your hands for at least 20 seconds. The last bit is easily overlooked but is the most important step. Sing your abc’s or the happy birthday song twice in your head and you’ll be good. And if you don’t have soap and water readily available use hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol. Cover all coughs and sneezes with a tissue or use the inside of your elbow. Immediately after, wash your hands or use hand sanitizer and make sure to throw your tissue in the trash when you’re done. Wear a face mask and gloves at all times. If you can't afford to buy a mask, make one of your own. They can get creative! But it's the best way to keep everyone around you safe. Clean and disinfect frequently touched surfaces daily. If surfaces are dirty, clean them using soap before disinfection. (Source: cdc.gov) Other linksIf you’re in the mood for a little light humor but more facts and information, I recommend-
John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight: Coronavirus I John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight: Coronavirus II Note: I am NOT a health expert, I’ve simply done research on what is available to me. If there is anything here that you’ve found to be false PLEASE let me know. There’s a lot of misinformation being circulated and with the uncertainty among the mass panic and the scary outcomes of this situation, the last thing I want to do is give you guys false information. We are here to support and inform each other so be kind to each other in the comments, share stories if you need to keep each other company--social distancing can feel a lot like social isolation at times--and for any wrong information, give me your source so I can list it down below and I’ll change things right away. Other than that, I love you guys. Stay safe, and I hope you guys can use my earlier tips on What to do During College Breaks to hopefully make this hard time a little easier. With love, Arianna 11/1/2018 0 Comments Fro-Fidence!!!Growing up as an African American woman in today’s society is so exciting, especially when it comes to hair. Now, I’ve gone through my fair share of styles but I always come full circle back to the fro. Afro, natural, whatever you want to call it, it’s the hair that you were born with, the soft stuff the grows from the root of your head, the hair that isn’t always seen depending on who you are. Recently, I just took out my fabulously red dyed tips and decided my head needed a break. I felt how physically tired it was from being in braids and tied up for so long so I decided to go natural for two weeks and honestly I didn’t expect such a revelation from it. The first day was a lot of fear. Fear and uncomfortably. For me, I’ve been doing protective styles for the better part of three years but every once in a while I like to give my hair a break. This is the first and the longest time I’ve gone with nothing but product in my hair and there was a lot of uncertainty. For the first time in three years I felt very vulnerable and I hated it. But I couldn’t help but think, “What would people think?” “What would people say?” “Would I be accepted?” I went through my fair share of horror stories in regards to my hair a few years back. Long story short, it broke off and it hasn’t been the same ever since. So a lot of those insecurities of it being too short or too thin festered and grew the more I tucked it away, tried to protect it and grow it back; but the night before, when I looked in the mirror I finally fell in love. Even still my hair isn’t the way I want it to be but the confidence is there. It’s not a total transition but I’m adjusting and I’m growing into my fro-fidence as the days go by. Going to school and having events where I need to present the best version of myself, I feared that others would look at me and think, “Why didn’t she do her hair?” But then I realized, just because my hair doesn’t look like yours doesn’t mean I didn’t do my hair. Wearing a fro takes a lot more work than just waking up and walking outside. I still spend at least fifteen to twenty minutes combing it out, putting in product so that it’s big and curly but when everyone else around me is wearing braids or their hair is straight, it’s natural to feel insecure or worried. Even still, from friends, to teachers, to acquaintances, I received a lot of love for wearing my hair out and it really made me think about how much society has changed over time. It doesn’t matter what side of the spectrum you’re on, you shouldn’t have to feel the need to hide or protect the better parts of yourself for fear of judgment or ridicule. Everywhere you go, people are going to judge you. But good or bad, there’s nothing you can do to change the way people think. There is something you can do to change the way you think. A lot of my insecurities grew from comparing myself to others who had bigger, curly afros but it wasn’t the hair I was envious of, it was the confidence. If you have the confidence that’s all you need. No one is going to look like you, and you can’t measure your looks to someone else’s because you will never look like them. Especially when it comes to hair, in all different shapes, sizes and textures, you just have to figure out what style works best for you and rock it. As soon as you start to learn to love the way you look in the mirror, the more everyone else will. So I’m making a new pact with myself to wear my afro more often and grow my fro-fidence day by day because I have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to fear. This is me. Now, since I went an entire two weeks of going natural I had to figure out what works best for me. What styles the best, what makes it curl and most importantly, what moisturizes? So I thought I'd share the products that I've been using and absolutely love and hope they can help you when you wear your fro. So my hair has never been straightened so the hair you see here's is as natural a single they come. However, my hair texture is a weird mixture of curly and straight so I absolutely love this curl cream by Cantu which really enhances my curls. It makes them more defined which helps make my curls more uniformed. It also has Shea Butter which moisturizes so that the curls can last all day and stay soft. Thursday was picture day so I wore my hair up in a ponytail but to tame the curls I used this moisturizing gel from the dollar tree and it’s surprisingly really good! The thing I hate about gels is after it hardens it turns white and really crusty. But this is very moisturizing and holds the hair very well. The hair wasn’t hard at the end of the day and I was even able to go one more day without reapplying. The ponytail still looked fairly well so I highly recommend this product. And finally, if you’ve just finished washing your hair and are getting ready to go to bed or need a good styler, I use this leave-in conditioner as a detangler and a moisturizer. Sometimes, if I don’t condition in the shower with my shampoo I just use this and works wonders. The brand is Shea Solutions and aside from smelling amazing, it’s very moistening. It even helps to bring out some of those curls I enhance with the curl cream and I use it everytime after I get out of the shower and even right before I style my hair if I need something to loosen it up. And that’s it! I’m still on the lookout for products that help with curl control and I want to start using natural coconut oil for my scalp but these are just the things I use on a daily basis. If you guys have any products that you recommend please let me know. I’m always looking forward to trying new products and I really hoped that helped. I hope you all enjoy. Thanks so much for the support. A lot of you have been DM’ing me on Instagram that you’ve read and love my blog and I really appreciate it, so follow me on Instagram. My account is private but I usually accept all follow requests so don’t hesitate to reach out and please dm me if you don’t feel comfortable commenting below. Thanks again and Until Next Time! With love, Arianna
Instagram: successstory1625 I'm so excited to share this with you guys. It's been a journey and I hope these tips can be useful to you as I've had to experience them for myself as well.
January 12, 2018. That was the day my life changed forever. It was the day I wrote my first blog post, published my website and this whole writing journey began. I also like to think of it as the starting point in my writing career. For someone who’s never published her writing outside of school, it was a monumental moment for me to finally sit down and say, “Today, I’m going to make content that the entire world can read.” It was also the best decision I’ve ever made. But it’s still something I’m learning to navigate. It’s only been seventh months so I’m no expert, but for anyone who’s just starting, and this is the first blog they read for tips, I hope I can help with the seven things I’ve learned after seven months of blogging. 1. Know your niche- Yes yes, I’m a hypocrite-but hear me out. When I say find your niche, I mean that you need to find out what you want your blog to be about. Who’s your audience, what kind of topics do you want to have on your blog, what is your blog going to be about? You should have a general direction of where you want your blog to go and what you want to write-even if it’s just for the first post-and then from there, the rest of your ideas will follow. I’m going to do another blog post on what you should write your first blog post on and let me just say now, it doesn’t have to do with anything with what I just said before but if you want to hear my ideas on niche’s in general, check out this blog post which is cleverly named Niche’s. (Because I’m convenient like that. Lol) 2. Conversation is key- This means find other bloggers and interact. I’ve officially signed up for Bloglovin’ (Although, I am currently not active but will be soon so follow me anyway!) and all I’ve been doing is looking for people who have similar interests to me (for personal pleasure.) Then, I’ve looked and saved posts that relate to me and my blog. If they said something that I liked or sparked an idea of my own, I follow, and I save their post. Go to other blogger’s sites, see what the latest trends are, especially if you’re a fashion blogger. To be honest, I couldn’t tell you what the trend is, I never really cared, for someone who always just wore what she liked, but if that’s your thing see what everyone is talking about. What is everyone wearing for the summertime (or upcoming fall), know your seasons and see if you can jump into the hype. Oh! And comment. Always comment on other peoples blogs, interact with commenters and get them to come to you. It brings a lot more traffic this way and you may actually talk with some really cool people and make some new internet friends. 3. Learn your SEO settings-Boring and complicated SEO settings. Which is what I thought at first, but it’s actually not that bad. For the basic SEO settings, hopefully your blog platform-whichever one you use-will make It easy for you but if it’s complicated, YouTube is always available. Or, if you’re stubborn like me and determined to figure it out on your own, play around with it and see what happens. It’ll tell you if there’s an error or you’ll know if things don’t go exactly as planned. Your SEO settings are designed to get you on Google’s search engine which brings in a ton of traffic, if you’re doing it right. You won’t know if you’re being searched up the way you want until you try it so have no shame in searching yourself up. It should take at least four weeks to get yourself up there though so don’t be discouraged if you type in your name two minutes after you update the settings (like I did) and don’t see anything. It’s going to take time. I recently just read a post from Helene In Between about SEO settings and she says they’re best used to track something called your bounce rate. It’s basically to see who’s clicked onto your post and then immediately clicked out of it which will tell you that your posts are not set up the way you want them to and you need to change the settings. She has a lot more detailed explanations though, so I’ll leave a link to her post down below for more help. 4. Update, update, update- Consistency is key and updating regularly is so important for someone who’s just starting out. You want people to keep coming back to your blog and you want those few who trickle in to stick around and not get bored. If you post three times in one week and then drop off the face of the earth for the next two months (or delete your entire site like I did) people will forget all about you and you’ll have the start the process all over again. So, try to update regularly but when you do update, keep it consistent or at least let your readers know when you’re going to be posting. I don’t have a set schedule for updates, but I try to post at least once a week from the end of the week to the beginning (between Thursday and Monday.) Also, if you post too much at one time, that’s great for bringing the traffic in for that week but then you’ll have to scramble for ideas for the following week and you suddenly loose followers. (I know, such a complicated concept, but trust me, it’s a thing.) So, update regularly, but not too often…consistent. (I hope you guys got that. Lol) P.S. Don’t delete your site. It’s a struggle to get back up. Trust me. 5. Summer sessions is a thing- For someone who’s not only a full-time student but still has another five years to go, keeping up with your blog can be tough. But when you’re just starting out, it can be hard to pick and choose when you can afford not to update. Which is why during the summer, take advantage of the extra time you have. Whether you spend a majority of that time getting your most updates in or just brainstorming ideas in advance for the rest of the year, take all the time you need so that your blog stays frequent all year round. 6. Always get a second opinion- Or a third or fourth. For now, my most reliable source is my mom. She has her own website and she’s a master at grammar and spelling (all things English that I’m still learning) and I always like to go to her for feedback-if not for the content but just for the flow of context. But I don’t mind going to my friends either. If I use their names I like to ask for permission first or to see if they like this title over the other. Sometimes I bounce ideas off of them for topics as well. It’s great to sit there and read your own work and declare it amazing-because you think it is-but you always need a second opinion to give you a reality check and say, “hey, that was rude.” or maybe something simple like, “you spelled definitely wrong.” (Which I always do. Smh.) 7. Spread the word- Social media has literally taken over our society, but I’m not mad at it! I’m not a huge fan of all things Twitter, Facebook and Snapchat (if you haven’t already noticed) but I’m a huge fan of Instagram so that’s my main source of bringing traffic to my blog. But for those of you lovely social media people out there, as soon as your post goes up or maybe even before your post goes up, blow up on your social media and tell everyone that follows you that you’ve posted. There is no shame in promoting yourself and where I said you should be consistent on your blog, when it comes to your social media, be as random as possible and be as often as you want. Bug the hell out of all of your friends, your family until you know they’ve read it, they’ve subscribed and shared it to all of their friends and family. You want every person watching your story and jumping back to your bio to click on the link that leads to your blog because honestly, social media is one of the biggest ways new bloggers get the word out for everything. And that’s amazing! And here’s a bonus because I’m generous like that. Lol 8. Have fun!-Cheesy, I know, but I’m serious! Starting a blog is tough. I don’t mean to sound discouraging but I have to be honest, it’s a lot of work. But I love it which is why I’m doing my best to make it enjoyable for me. You want to create content that you enjoy making and that you know your readers will enjoy reading. You also don’t want to want to rush things just to get have something up for your deadlines or have to repeat your same content. When you’re just starting out, you want to always be circulating new ideas, so make sure you have fun with your blog. (And then when you’re a pro you can recycle that article from a couple of months ago with a new perspective.) Your readers are your friends, they want to know what you have to say, not what you think they want to hear. Don’t try to copy someone else or be someone you’re not just because you’re behind a keyboard and can edit your words and you never want to make updating seem like a chore. If you find that you’re not enjoying what you’re writing, there’s a likely chance your readers won’t enjoy reading it so make sure that you have fun with your blog, that way you’ll want to continue doing it. And that’s it! I hope you guys enjoyed these tips. I know this was more directed toward future or new bloggers, but I hope those of you who took the time to read it, now have an idea on how I keep my blog up and running. Don’t forget to like, comment and share or contact me on my socials. Until Next Time! With love, Arianna Bloglovin’: arianna99 Helene In Between: (SEO Settings) News Alert! The SUNY apps are open! I just got the alert on Wednesday so I’m sorry if I’m a few days late but in spirit of college applications opening up, I have this post that will hopefully inspire for our last month of summer (aka freedom). And it’s a precollege edition, yay! So, these tips will be college based. I’m a rising senior and applying to college is my top priority right now, so I have gone through this list myself (mostly) or I’m going through it as you read this. If you have any other tips or suggestions, don’t hesitate to leave a comment down below. So, let’s get right into it.
1. Research colleges/visit- If you haven’t had the time or just didn’t know where you wanted to go to college, that’s fine! But if you’re not working, this is the perfect time to delve in and do your college research. Look up schools based on the criteria you have and are looking for in a college and then, if you can, try to visit the schools you have on your list. If you already have your list and haven’t had the opportunity to visit, see if you can go now that you have the time to do so. Visiting out of state schools can be tricky because they take time and money, but if you have the finances to visit out of state, ask your parents to make a week of it. Go visit your top out of state schools and call it a vacation. Road Trip! Or if you don’t have the time, just take the weekend off and drive. My best friend just took an entire weekend to drive up to Syracuse with her family and she loved it, if nothing more for the time she had on the road. It’s a great way to learn more about the college and get a personal feel of the campus, the students and see what your life could be like going there. If it’s the right fit for you, you’ll definitely know after a campus tour and information session. If you don’t have the money or your parents don’t have the time to travel to your far away schools, check out the ones you can visit locally. If your parents have a day off, ask if you can visit all of the schools closer to you. If you live in the city, like me, take the train or the bus to get around downtown and book all of your tours back to back (given travel time, of course) and make a day of it. I know for sure that colleges start tours at eight and they last about two hours so make sure you don’t plan to be in a rush that day. The latest they end are at three-probably starting around one thirty or two. And don’t worry if you can’t bring a parent, bring a friend or a sibling so you have someone to travel with. You always want to have someone there with you to give a second opinion because choosing a college is like buying a house. Input from your family and friends is important because they can give you a different perspective and tell you things you may not be aware of like, if the campus is too large or you don’t have a car in a college town and the nearest Walmart is twenty miles away. (Trust me, it’s a problem.) Then, after you’re done for the day, travel around the surrounding area. Maybe grab some lunch or sit in the park that’s nearby. If you’re in a city, you want to get the feel for the neighborhood and if you’re in a college town, talk with the locals and see where they like to go and then explore. I always loved taking campus visits because I always got to explore afterwards, so if you’re not working, try it! 2. Write essays- I know! So boring, so much work, so…stressful. But it’s definitely something we all should be thinking about starting, especially since August is already here and school is slowly sneaking up on us. (Summer went by so fast!) If you haven’t started your common app essay yet, I suggest you start that one first. They give you seven prompts to choose from and you only have to pick one to write about. There’s a 650-word limit, which seems like a lot, but it really isn’t, so make it count! It also allows you to apply to almost all colleges (but check to make sure) with only one essay which makes things easier. As for your other essays-scholarships, supplementals, etc.-get started on them! Every prompt is different and if you’re looking at scholarship essays, they have their deadlines. So, with the extra time on your hands, brainstorm and edit, that way you won’t have to scramble when it comes time to have everything done. 3. Do the Common App/FASFA- You always want to apply early for financial aid because that guarantees you more money! So, make sure that you find a convenient time to sit down with your parents and fill out all of your financial aid forms, while you have the time to ask them (and they have the time to do them.) They’re always busy and working but since you have more time on your hands, you can fill out the easy stuff (like your name) and when you know they’re relaxed and have the time to go into finances with you, work on it! Now may be the only time to do it if you haven’t started already. P.S. I haven’t done this part of the process yet for myself, so I’ll definitely let you know how the process goes and give you some tips if I have any. 4. Write/research scholarships- I think summertime was always the best time to research college scholarships. Yes, we hope for the most financial aid, and we’re going to take out all the grants we can get, and we hope our schools are generous with their funds but sometimes you need some extra help and we really don’t want to take out loans. So, the extra scholarships are here to save the day. If you haven’t started looking for reliable scholarship sites (beware of scams!) then I can definitely provide my list down below-if they say you have to pay to sign up, it’s a scam-but if you have a few good sites and haven’t started looking, now is the best time. Then, work on them so you can apply! If you’re like me and you prefer to apply for written scholarships, (essays), I can assure you that you’ll need some time to prepare. But don’t worry, I’m slowly (procrastinating) getting through it as well. We will (suffer) succeed together. 5. Relax- As a rising senior, I know how stressful it can be to prepare for college. Going through the process is a lot of work, but when you’re working or doing an internship I can only imagine how the pressure will increase. I’d love to get the extra work experience and certainly the money wouldn’t hurt but I’m also enjoying the time I have to be home because I know it won’t last. It’s giving me proper time to do the things I need to do and not feel overwhelmed (like homework and scholarship essays, etc.) and it’s also giving me more time to focus on blogging and to unwind. Junior year went by so fast, and it was amazing, but I’m glad it’s over. We deserve our time to take a break and relax but there’s a lot to still prepare for, so if you’re like me and not working this summer, take advantage of it. It may even benefit you in the end. I hope these five tips were helpful. A lot of this process is still new to me as well, but I only write about what I know and we’re getting through it together. It’s a new month but August will be gone before we know it (oh gosh, I don’t even want to think about school right now) and it’s time to buckle down. We don’t love it, but that’s life right? Stay tuned for more tips and more life updates because there’s plenty more to come. Until Next Time! With love, Arianna 7/30/2018 0 Comments Niche's: wHAT DO THEY REALLY MEAN?A niche- Interests that appeal to a small, specialized section of the population. Adj.
At least this is what the dictionary says it means. When I first started my blog, this word was getting thrown around too often. It was mainly to describe how you can ‘figure out your own niche’ and ‘how to find bloggers in your same niche’ until I eventually had to stop ask myself what it is that I wanted my blog to be about? I think as people who are so used to putting themselves out there on different mediums, it can be hard to stay relevant because we’re always competing, especially when you’re just starting out. Whether it’s with other bloggers or YouTubers (just as an example) who are on an entirely different scale, you’re trying to gain attention and show your readers that you have something to say. So, you try to fit yourself into this little box of ‘most popular genres’ and hope your blog lands on the next Top Ten Must Read list on Buzzfeed. But what happens when you realize you fit into more than one niche? We are complex beings. We have our likes and dislikes, things we’ll tolerate, things we’re passionate about, our jobs, our hobbies and all of these idiosyncrasies make us into the people we are, but I don’t think a title has to define us entirely as people and especially not as creators. I think it’s important to label yourself with the more dominant parts of your personality so that you and your readers can say who it is you represent on your blog, but you don’t have to limit yourself once you’ve created that platform and name. It’s okay to branch out and talk about things that challenge you as a writer just to show your readers that there is more to you than what meets the eye. As long as you stay true to yourself, you will find your audience and you can develop a genre that’s entirely your own all the while staying within your niche-whatever that means. They never said the definition couldn’t be swayed a little, so why not change it so that it means something to you? Besides, I’m always one for a good plot twist. Until Next Time! With love, Arianna Hi all! I know it’s been awhile but if you haven’t already gathered from the title, I’ve been pretty busy. But I have a little bit of free time so I thought I’d share some of my recent life experience with you. Two Saturday’s ago, which was March 3, was a pretty monumental moment for me. I’ve been taking the PSATs (practice SATs) ever since freshman year and this year I finally got to take the real thing. And it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be (but let’s see how I feel AFTER I get my scores. Lol.)
Earlier this year, aside from the regular PSAT I got to practice with an old SAT test with my wonderful history teacher who treated it as if it were the real thing. He used to be on the board that graded these tests so it was great practice. He graded it (I didn’t do very well) but it definitely prepared me for this day. But let’s first start with the basics. Now in no way shape of form do I know everything, nor am I a guidance counselor or on the college board but I’m just sharing with you guys what I know and what I’ve learned through experience and from what my own advisors and peers have told me. For those of you who don’t know, SAT stands for Scholastic Aptitude Test which is a test that most colleges require to see where you’re at academically and if you’ll be a good fit for their school. Colleges usually give their SAT range when you look them up and if you want to get into Columbia for example and need at least a 1470 on your SAT but only have a 1200, it might be a little bit of a struggle to get in. Not that best case scenarios haven’t happened and people with lower scores haven’t got in but you already know that Columbia will be challenging academically for you and you want to go there, you definitely will need to study hard for the SAT to meet their score range to get in. I can write a little bit more on reach schools and college advice in another post but for now I’ll stick with the different tests. Now placement tests are completely different. Placement tests are tests that you take once you get into college to determine what classes you get put into after you’ve already been enrolled into that college. These tests are given by the college, not by the college board. SATs are not always required depending on what college you’re applying to. Some schools are test optional but most schools recommend or require SATs and or ACTs (I’ll go into that in another post) but their most typical on the Northern hemisphere. Now, you can take the SAT with or without the essay. It’s always good to know whether or not your college requires the essay before you take it. Some colleges may, some may not, I took mine with the essay just in case I may find a college that will need it but if you know definitely which colleges you’re applying to you may not need to take it at all. Some colleges also require subject tests. These tests are about an one to an hour and a half long and they are exactly what they say they are; they are tests on a particular subject that colleges may need to see if you want to study at a particular major at that school. For example, if you want to study biology as you major, they may want to see you take the biology subject test. The entire test will be full of biology and it would probably be best to take it only if you know that’s something you’ll need and do well in as a class. Don’t just take a subject test if you don’t need to because you will have to pay and you cannot take it the same time as your SAT so you will have to come back for subject tests. You don’t want to waste time either. Now there are also AP tests which are advanced placement tests classes that you take in high school after you have taken that particular AP class. I take AP US History and what that means is that I am taking a college level history course. You pay 93 dollars to take the test and if you get a 3 or higher (depending on the college, sometimes it has to be 4) those credits go towards the college that you get enrolled in and depending on what score you got, what score they take, and how well you did in that class. Beware that some colleges may not take you AP credits so make sure you look into that when looking up colleges but if they do accept them, you’ll receive college credit for that class. I think it’s also good to take Advanced Placement classes if you’re good in a particular subject and want to be ahead when you get to college not only in credits but academically. It will save you a lot of time and money in the future so if you have the opportunity, take it. Now that I’ve gone over the basics for the different tests, let’s go into my tips.
And that’s it for all of my SAT test taking tips. I hope that helped. I definitely want to try to do more of these tips for test taking and college process as I go through them so let me know what you think and I’ll try to plan the next one based off of what you liked and didn’t like about this one. Leave me comments down below about your own experiences and any tips you have for me that I can use in the future because we’re working together here on the path towards success. So thanks again, and I’ll talk to you again soon. Until Next Time! With love, Arianna |
AuthorI'm an 21 year old girl who lives in NY. I love to read and write and fashion is my life. Follow me to find out more! Archives
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