12/24/2021 0 Comments End of year catch up!Let’s Talk!
It’s been awhile. But I’m so excited to finish off this new year off strong and now that I finally have some freaking time in my schedule, let’s talk. School going fully back in person this year was such a struggle. Like I think we can all agree that this had to be one of the hardest school semesters, ever. The good news is, I feel a lot better about the direction I want to take my career post grad. I don’t want to speak too much into existence because so much can change and I want to keep everything full of positive vibes and good energy (I don’t want to jinx shit). But fingers crossed that all the hard work and struggle this semester makes it worth it. 🤗🤞🏾 On that note, reading? Egregious. It’s been so hard to find time to read this semester, and even when I did, I feel like the beginning of the year started out so well. We had some stellar reads and then it all went downhill from there. I watched Mina from Mina Reads’ video and she had similar thoughts so I’m going to link her video here. But I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt like the reading vibes were off this year, because I felt like such a slacker. But I’m hopeful that next year will be a much better reading year. 📖 However, I have exactly 8 days to read 3 books by the end of 2021 (because it has to end on an even number). So, the goal is to try and read some novellas so I can get to 110 books by the end of the year. Until the end of December I was trying to read all holiday and sexy santa romances but again, I started off strong and then things went downhill from there. (AKA finals and bad reads). I’m trying not to dnf anymore books but we might have to make a few sacrifices to make my reading goal and also so I can get the blog posts I want up in a timely manner. ⏰ Overall, I just wanted to come on here and spread some positive vibes, maybe talk a little bit more about books and gauge the general thoughts and feelings over this past year and future goals for next year. So I looked up a quizlet with some “We’re Not Really Strangers” questions to get reconnected and then next time, I’ll have some book related questions to go through. So let’s get into it! ~Questions~ What’s One Thing You Hope to Change in the Next Year? I hope to truly open myself up emotionally and literally to new experiences next semester since I'm going abroad to London. I’m forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone and explore everywhere and everywhere; introduce myself to new people, give myself the space to grow without feeling obligated to give more of myself than I have or am willing to share, etc. I’m just really excited to grow next year (specifically next semester) and I hope to see that change by the end of 2022. Even if it’s small. What’s One Lesson that Took You the Longest to Unlearn? (This year) I think it took me a long time to learn that I can’t be everything for everyone. It’s something I’m still trying to learn but recognizing that this year is helping to ease some of the anxiety I’ve been feeling surrounding not being good enough or doing enough for those closest to me. I’m not stretching myself too thin and that’s been nice to go through this year. How Are You Really? Tired, overwhelmed, stressed but also really really happy. All of the negative, tense emotions definitely have to do with planning for going abroad and the details that go along with that, as well as worrying about the upcoming changes. I’m also still figuring life things out, working towards career goals that I'm waiting to hear back from, so waiting sucks. But I’ve also got to spend the most time with friends and create some really beautiful relationships this year that I didn't have before. My support system is as strong as it’s ever been this year and I don't know, I’ve just been feeling really blessed and thankful for the people in my life and the experiences that have opened up to me because I took certain opportunities or chances this year. What’s Been Keeping You Sane Lately? Steven Universe and watching Grey’s Anatomy with my besties. Anyone can fight me on this (and be wrong) but Steven Universe is probably one of the greatest shows of all time and for it to be so openly queer during the time it was streaming? Bye. I’m in love. This show literally got me through my finals. Plus spending quality time on one of the most dramatic shows ever with two of my favorite people has been amazing too. What Would You Tell Your Younger Self and What Have You Learned From This Lesson? I’ve actually been thinking about this question a lot lately and I think I would basically tell her that everything she’s going through will make her even more prepared for the amazing things that are coming her way. I’ve learned that patience really is the key when it comes to life circumstances changing but also, taking advantage of all opportunities as well. I’d also tell her to keep investing in her passions because what she’s doing now will shape who she is and everything she does in the future for the better. So, just hold on, things will get better. ~Closing Thoughts~ Thank you for everyone reading! Especially all the way to the end. Longform writing isn’t as trendy as it once was but those of y'all who love to hear a good ramble, really keep this platform so fun for me to interact with. I wanted to ask these questions because this card game is really so fun and it allows you the time to self reflect and engage with those closest to you in such an intimate way. So much has happened this year that this could be the time to take a pause with a card game like this. Take the time to check-in and reconnect in ways that you didn’t have the time to before if you can. I hope everyone who’s done with school is glad their semester is over with (because I sure as hell am). And I’m wishing you positive vibes, good grades and inspiration for end of year reading goals. I’m determined to reach my reading goal so in order to encourage me… you should probably follow me on my Instagram and Goodreads. 😏 Hehe. It’s always a fun time there (and if you notice that I update Goodreads more than Insta then just mind your business 😜😂). With love, Arianna
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Heyy! I don’t know about you but I’m so excited for the summer. I’m up here where it’s still snowing. SNOW! In April? Egregious. Anyways, with my mind thinking of summer sun and outdoor activities I was inspired to ask about you guys summer plans. Of course, we have to be mindful of COVID safety so please be conscientious when you hang out with friends and family outside of your “bubble”. But either way, I hope summer 2021 will be as promising as we’re all willing it to be. On that note, I recently watched Maddie Dragsbaek’s video and I love her. I don’t know but I swear we could be friends in real life. I know people say this all the time but I really believe it. I don’t know what it is about the Leo/Pisces mix but we just work.
Maddie’s video basically gave tips on “how to be a hot girl” and I thought it was so great because it was about confidence and body positivity and how we all can be hot girls if we aren't already. I really needed to hear that at this time. So, make sure you guys go watch Maddie’s video but based off of that I wanted to give my own definition of “hot girl” but using the Euphoria cast! My friends got me hooked on the show last winter and we’re still all desperately waiting for season 2 to come out. Butn until then, I’m going to give the different types of hot girls based off of these lovely characters and by the end, you can determine which hot girl are you? Rue Rue is always main character energy. Duh. She’s our lowkey, lesbian queen and she doesn’t give a fuck what anybody thinks. But Rue is a hot girl because of her strong will and perseverance. Sure, she has her hard times and falls down. Sometimes she loses hope but she’s still here and she’s pushing through and making ways for herself to be a better and stronger person for herself. It’s going to take some time, growth and healing but if you feel like you’re channeling Ruth energy, and life is just beating you down, you’re a hot girl because you keep going. You’ve been through it, but you will make it to the end. With some positive and healthy support and self reflection, this summer is yours to claim just as you claim your personal growth and healing. Period! Jules Iconic queen! She is our real life Star Butterfly (from Star v. The Forces of Evil) in the best possible way. Sweet but a total badass and we stan. She’s a hot girl because of her free spirit and positivity. She does her best to look for the best in people and situations, even at the detriment to herself. She tries to be independent and live her life the way she wants, even when she sometimes falls into the wrong situations because of it. However, no one can fault her for trying to do the best for herself without guidance. If Jules is your soul sister this summer, let your free spirit carry you away this summer. Let yourself be open to new possibilities, friendships and relationships but make sure to check in with yourself and perhaps your therapist *wink wink* for some internal self reflection when you feel your hope leading you astray. No harm in keeping yourself guided along the way. Cassie Cassie is our tenderhearted angel. Her heart is so big that she can’t help but try to sweep others into her fray, even when she gets burned for getting too close to the edge. This summer, channel your inner Cassie and let people see the way you love so freely. Being vulnerable is never a bad thing, especially now when all we want to do is find ways to connect. Don’t shut yourself off from forming new relationships for fear of getting hurt. On that same note, protect your peace when you feel like your love is being exploited or taken from you at the expense of yourself. When that happens, protect that and turn that same big heart onto yourself. This summer could use all your love and sunshine. Katherine (Kat) Kat walked into school one day and reclaimed her power. As she motherfluffing should. And so should you, summer babes. If you’ve been feeling a little stifled this year because of the pandemic–social and literal isolation closing your off and making you feel closeted and insecure–use this summer to pull out those outfits, put on the makeup (you can always wash or buy your masks again) and just allow all that powerful energy to shine through. Summer is the perfect time to explore with your style and now is the time to show the world all the self growth you’ve done while trapped in home over quarantine. Pull out whatever makes you feel the most confident and step on their necks queens. All streams, no skips. Just make sure you remember who you are at the core and don't get too lost in this new self of yours. There’s still a person beneath all that power. Maddy Maddy is the baddest B on the block and she’ll make sure you never forget it. If you’re like Maddy, you’ve been waiting for the last six months to show the world what summer 2021 can do for you and don’t worry ma’am, now’s your time to shine. Just make sure not to trample over the other queens in your path. Reach out to your friends this summer, reconnect with people you’ve been missing and neglecting while at home raging about the unfairness of it all. And make sure you use this summer to focus on you. Hot girl summer is for you not anyone else (looking at you, Nate) to embrace that extroverted energy you’ve been forced to keep bottled up inside and we can’t wait to see it. So enjoy! We especially need our friends during this time. So who’s your hot girl for this summer? Are we letting our wild spirits roam free like Jules or releasing all that power we’ve been building up like Kat? No matter what happens, let’s be determined to channel all of our inner hot girl energy–whether we spend a majority of our time indoors or not. Being a hot girl is about confidence, it’s about kindness and it’s about knowing you are that bitch and nobody else can tell you any different. Anyone can be a hot girl (it's an identity, not one person), you just have to believe you are one and embody what a hot girl does––there really are no rules. So I’m declaring it! Summer 2021 is giving hot girl summer. And we’re all hot girls this year. Always with love, Arianna 1/30/2021 0 Comments Let's talk about therapy baby!Welcome back to INTUITIVE MINDS NYC where we’re finally FINALLY talking about the things this title pertains to. So I can’t wait to get into this list of tips with you but know that I only speak from personal experience. Nor am I encouraging or attempting to discourage anyone to try it if they don’t feel it's right for them or not within their means to seek it out. Though I will say, if it can be an option for you, it worked well for me and it might be worth looking into if you’re interested. So stay tuned for tips, stories and opinions as you follow through another part of my mental health journey. *hand smiling emoji* My ExperienceLooking back at the year that was 2020I'm not surprised that my mental health took a certain nosedive because there was so much shit going on. But to everyone who struggled and made it through, I’m so proud of you--of us--because we literally were put to the test and made it out alive. And for everyone still struggling with their mental health I’m sorry and I’m here for you and this community is here for you and supports you through your journey. But I think the one thing I had to learn starting January, peaking in March and breaking down in July, was that mental health is and always will be a journey. Anxiety and depression are things I’m probably going to live with for the rest of my life and all the time things aren’t going to be happy. All the time things also aren’t going to be complete shit and when things do hit the fan that doesn’t mean that I’ve failed, it just means that I'm going through a particularly hard time in life. And that happens, to everyone. I needed to learn how not to define myself by my mental health struggles and the illness itself as who I am. I am not an anxious person, I am simply someone who suffers from anxiety from time to time. Nor does that excuse poor behavior when it comes to taking care of myself and the ways I needed to learn how to exist in the world again. But I think I'm getting ahead of myself here. What I mainly learned was that I can’t do everything on my own. I needed help, so before I even reached out to a therapist, I reached out to a friend of mine who really helped me through such a hard time. (I love you Andre! *kisses*) More than anything, you need to identify yourself with a support system. Someone you can turn to and talk to and just cry and vent to. Or someone who can just be there if all you feel is nothing in the moment. So after reaching out to him and a few other close friends of mine, I was directed to a list of resources that I’ll share with you guys down below. It listed options for therapy sites as well as Instagram accounts that allowed me to feel better about my feed--as well as hotlines to help coax you down if you don’t feel as if you have the support system in your personal life to talk to about these things. zencare.coThe resource list listed Zencare.co as the online therapy site where I could vet therapists according to location, insurance and finances. Though I know there are other places such as Betterhelp that offer similar resources in terms of searching for help (though I think Betterhelp is a little more expensive). Many people were doing discounted rates during the time of March and July which is when I was referred to them so I ended up paying out of pocket for someone near my location and started the princess for interviewing. The one thing that made me go with Zencare instead of Betterhelp is that they pair you with a therapist based off of a series of questions that you answer. They still ask for your preferences and the type of care you think you might need but you don’t decide in the end who you’re paired with. Granted, you can switch therapists as often as you want but that was a process I didn’t want to go through at the time. I personally thought Zencare gave me more freedom. interviewingI think the one thing I had to learn was that vetting a therapist is just like anything. You want someone who can give you the best care, that can tailor most specifically to your needs and simply put, you can connect with. It’s like orientation day where you’re introducing yourself and making all of these connections but only a few of them become your friends. And in a way you want your therapist to be someone you can talk with and feel comfortable sharing your issues with. Now I know there is the stigma for mental health for POC who frequently feel their needs being misheard or misunderstood because there are rarely people that look like us in these fields. I will say that I did end up looking for someone who looked like me but it also depends on your level of comfortability on whether or not you can speak with a white woman about your black upbringing. There’s a difference and there will always be a level of uncertainty about how honest you can truly be with this person. Though, both of these sites give you the option to tailor your therapist to your needs and if you can’t find someone you’re comfortable with, then you keep trying until you do. It can be a draining process but it’s necessary. I went through a few phone interviews before settling on my person. And I became used to some of the questions that were being asked and began to expect what would be expected of me in therapy and what I should look for when I was speaking with this person. 1. Do the questions and answers flow? (Does it feel natural to talk and hold a conversation with them? Awkward pauses are natural, especially if you’re nervous but is the therapist able to engage you and keep you talking? Do you feel like they truly understand what you’re talking about when you speak to them?) 2. What are you coming to therapy for? 3. What are experiencing--feelings, physical sensations 4. What do you hope to accomplish in therapy--personal goals, mental goals: ex. ways to manage, solution to problems 5. Have you been in therapy before? If so, what did you explore with your last therapist? 6. What are you looking for in a therapist? These are just to name a few, but the main thing to do is to make sure you ask all of your questions. Things like: do you take my insurance, how often a week will we be meeting, how do you handle patients like me specifically (ex. 19 year old in college with x problems), what do your therapy techniques look like? You want to be able to truly gage if you would be a good fit for their service and if they would be able to do the same for you. Ask for clarification on things they say that you may not understand. Therapists have their own kind of language and you want to be able to understand what they’re talking about if you don’t already. Words like [blank] might come up based on the type of therapy and therapist you’re looking at. Make sure you ask what that means and how that pertains to them being able to treat you. It’s important to walk away from the conversation with enough information so that you can make a decision but it all boils down to the way you feel. If you’re comfortable with this person and can financially afford them, take the risk and always ask about their cancellation process. For the most part you can cancel therapy at any time free of charge (as long as you tell them in advance so they stop charging you) and you can switch if you find that they’re not the perfect match for you. The initial interview call usually lasts for 15 minutes and is free of charge as well which is something to note. Maybe schedule them throughout the week and then look at your notes for each person to see who you want to give the callback. But it’s also understanding to feel drained by the end of this process as well. Forcing yourself to talk about your mental health struggles can be draining so take the time to reflect on what it is that you need and what you’re feeling apart from the interview itself. CostsSince I’ve only gone through Zencare I’m more familiar with their financial process but I’ll try to link both options below. Zencare has a sliding scale option which I loved because it’s a way to allow people who don’t have insurance or are low income to be able to find ways to afford therapy. (Cuz we all know that shit can be expensive) and while I know the pandemic during its peak was a specific time, the sliding sale is still in place. It allowed me to pay out of pocket and to have me be financially responsible for my care--which can be really helpful for those who don’t want their caretakers to know that they’re going to therapy if it’s something you’d rather keep to yourself. It enabled me to pay out of pocket but it’s always something you should talk and ask about with the therapist you intend to work with just to see if you can have the prices lowered. They usually have a number there but negotiation can go a long way, especially if you can explain a little bit of your financial situation. People are more likely to be flexible during these times, especially if you’re college aged. Though there’s also an option to have financial aid which gave me a discount when I signed up for Betterhelp which also has a mixture of sliding scale options and insurance supported options. Though the one thing to note is that therapy is rarely covered by insurance and as discouraging as that can be, it’s also something to plan when looking at your options. If you'd have insurance, see how much of your care would be covered, and if the sliding scale option works out better for you financially and personally then go with that instead. I had to put in certain information but nothing that went through my school or required tax information when it came to the financial aid for Betterhelp though. “To continue, to continue, that is what is necessary”- Van GoghAnd that’s it for part one! I hope you guys enjoyed. Hopefully this can be a little bit useful for anyone who’s curious or unsure about therapy. I just want to say that I am no expert or professional, I’m figuring all of this stuff out just the same way you are. But Ilearned that we’re all just a little bit more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, therapy doesn’t always have to be for emergencies--it can be a way to simply check in with yourself. And it’s not always unattainable for POC as long as we know that we have options out there. The part 2 of this series will be giving alternative options to traditional therapy because I know it still can’t be an option for everyone. Either way, be kind to yourself and one another. The greatest investment we can ever make in this world will be in ourselves.
Wishing you all peace of mind and heart! With love, Arianna Hi guys! I don’t want to make this intro too long but I hope your Holidays went well and I hope you can look forward to 2021 with as much hopefulness as you can muster. But I’m wishing you all good grades, good food and lots of rest. But if nothing else, I’m wishing you a great book year because despite everything else going on in 2020, this has been my best book year in a long time. If the trend hasn’t already exposed itself, quarantine was the time for new hobbies, YouTube channels, depression and a whole lot of boredom. So, with the help of a few friends I’m happy to say that I got back into reading. I used to read so much when I was younger, and my shelves are still filled to the brim with my YA and middle grade books. Every other thing I own that’s not clothes, are books and they sit in boxes. But I digress. Moral of the story, high school was where things started to taper off. Maybe I could read 5 books a year, but nothing I would say was conscious effort or had sustaining value (except for ACOTAR. ACOTAR forever). Though, as soon as I got to college, all reading stopped. So I created a book goal of 20 books by the end of 2020 and I am so happy to say that not only did I reach my goal but as of December 26, I have officially read 61 books this year…no rereads. And not to toot my own horn but I think that’s fucking amazing. However, I didn’t want to give you guys a top 20 list (because I’m not sure if I have enough for 20 or if I have too many) but I will give a shout out to the glorious Penny Reid because she really got this ball and chain reading train rolling. (That was a weird analogy but I am going with it). So, I’m here with my top 10 books from this year with possibly a few honorable mentions. I’m so excited to share them with you, so let’s get into it! [Insert meme here]. Book 1I’m not going to lie to you and perhaps this might be cheating but I’ve read two series this year. A part of me wants to just put PENNY REID and then list all the books within those two series that I loved and rated five stars but I’ll only list one and perhaps later on, you’ll find an honorable mention or two of hers. *hint hint* So this book award goes to…[drumroll please] LOVE HACKED (KNITTING IN THE CITY #3) BY PENNY REID Rating: 3.5 Blurb: This book is about Sandra and Alex and how Sandra has a hard time dating because she’s always trying to psychoanalyze her dates. Always. She is a psychologist after all but after a chance encounter with a slightly jaded and moody waitress she has to learn how to cope with falling for someone who isn’t interested in her “helpful” insight after all. Thoughts: Oh my gosh I LOVED this book. And even though the rating is a little low (I’m a picky reader lol) There were two things that allowed this book to make my ‘favorites list’ this year: 1. The breakdown of the female ’Savior’ trope and 2. Bitcoin. Now the trope name is definitely something I just made up but the way Penny Reid literally and realistically broke down the way romance novels have one of the main character’s saving the other was amazing. Usually when it involves a damaged hero, the woman comes along and in one way or another emotionally “saves” him so that he can be a better person for her and they live happily ever after. Which is fine but Alex is who he is: grumpy, moody, with a trauma ridden past and he’s functional that way. He handles his personal issues the way he handles them and he’s learned how to cope with them. He doesn’t need Sandra to save him (as much as she wants to) he just wants to love her and I thought that was amazing. And the fact that Sandra is a psychologist makes the breakdown of the trope all that more realistic which I thoroughly enjoyed. 2. They talk about bitcoin, I learned about bitcoin, bitcoin is VERY cool and I loved learning a little piece of real life knowledge so that was awesome. I guess you might be wondering why I didn’t rate the book higher and I don’t know. My initial argument is that I didn’t feel that connected to the characters but I think this is one of those books I have to reread again. I definitely loved the larger aspects of the story so maybe once I go through it for the second time I can rate it higher. Until then, don’t let my rating intimidate you from not reading this book. It can be read as a standalone but I highly recommend the entire series. It’s amazing. Book 2So I had an amazing Christmas, and this is not to brag but simply to state that all I got this Christmas were books. I swear my mother watched the smile split my face open and had to laugh. We even got it on video but that’s private sooo y’all can’t see that. Point is, when I talk about this book, remember that recently it was added to the stack I got for Christmas and picture an ear splitting smile that’s slightly creepy and delirious from lack of sleep and me in my polka dotted pajama bottoms. Thanks. KULTI BY MARIANA ZAPATA Rating: 5 Blurb: Twenty-seven year old Sal Casillas is a professional soccer player and when her once idol becomes her new soccer coach she has to deal with the fact that he’s not as perfect as she thought him to be…but that doesn’t stop her from falling in love. Thoughts: Oh my goodness, this woman (Zapata) destroyed my soul this year. If you’re looking for a slow burn, just read this book or any of her books really. 561 pages of pure genius and honestly, all I’m going to do is link my Goodreads review here and add onto the thoughts I didn’t think would make my Goodreads review shorter than it already should have been. Basically, Sal and Kulti’s story was such an appropriate relationship for the age gap they were sporting. Another book that didn’t have the heroine rushing in to save or change the hero from his poor temperament and bad manners, nor did she tolerate his shit. In the end it felt like an old married couple loving each other and it was so amazing. Zapata also does such an amazing job at describing and highlighting professional sports life which I loved. ‘From Lukov, With Love’ is next on my list and it’s an ice skating romance so I’m excited about that but back to Sal and Kulti. I loved the family dynamics in this book: the supportive father, the complicated sibling relationships, found family with friends. Everything was so beautifully developed and it never felt dragged or too overdone. Instead it added to the realness in the way love to hate relationships might develop in real time. And I appreciated these moments where we got to learn more about the characters as people: their quirks and day to day likes/dislikes. There was no need for some big backstory to give us a picture for “who the characters are” because we got to discover it for ourselves and I really appreciated that journey. So don’t let the page number intimidate you, it’s definitely a 10/10 read. Book 3I was gifted this by my best friend so this book will definitely hold special meaning for me when I finally put it on my shelf (once I finally rebuild my bookshelf). But in an effort to read more indie and diverse books I was so happy that I stumbled upon Weatherspoon’s Loose Ends series because I immediately fell in love. So this intro is basically to say read more diversely in all aspects: race, religion, gender, sex so that we can accept more widely. But also to support indie authors who are typically more diverse in these spaces. XENI BY REBEKAH WEATHERSPOON Rating: 5 Blurb: Xeni Everly-Wilkins just wants to claim her inheritance from her recently deceased aunt Sable, instead she’s caught in the middle of a feud war between her mother and her mother’s sisters, and a will specifically stating that in order to claim her inheritance she has to marry complete stranger, Mason McInroy. Xeni realizes she may have gotten more than she bargained for… and it might not turn out to be entirely a bad thing. Thoughts: First of all, what a fucking name. Xeni Everly-Wilkins? Freaking gorgeous. Second of all, he’s freaking SCOTTISH? You bet your ass I googled Scottish accents just so I could read Mason’s voice in one. Also my guy plays the bagpipes and wore a kilt. Like where can I find me one? I’ll place my eBay order tonight. Anyways, there were so many other aspects of this book that I loved so I’m going to try to keep this brief. The biggest thing for me again was the family aspect in this one: it was all the real, the raw and the witty aspects of dealing with the death of a close loved one as well as what it means to have people that support you and to lean on during this tough time. The sexual tension was also off the charts between these two which was fucking A. Basically it described how two lonely people who could have gone through this period of mourning feeling even more alone, learn how to turn to each other. And in light of that, a beautiful relationship developed. Xeni also comes from a musically famous family and so the music aspects were perfect: not too heavy that it overwhelmed the story but just enough to break up the narrative and provide characterization for Sable Everly who left her spirit lingering and her legacy to influence those she left behind. Quote from Goodreads: “This is a stand alone romance. It features a woman sick to death of her family shit and a plus-size Scotsman who just wants to make sweet, sweet music. And love.” It doesn’t get any better than that, now does it? Book 4I think this is the first novella that I’ve read as a standalone, and I loved it. It’s also the first book I read by Rebekah Weatherspoon. I read this on my floor and accidentally bought it on kindle (which if you guys know, I don’t reread books online if I can physically own them) soo I did a thing but I’m not mad at it. This was worth the back ache and five dollars. Even though this also made me realize that I like novels more. TREASURE BY REBEKAH WEATHERSPOON Rating: 4 Blurb: At her sister’s bachelorette party Alexis Chambers is the last person who wants to be there. Former popular athlete and violinist turned loner the last thing on her mind is love until she meets the beautiful stripper at the party who calls herself Treasure…who’s also in her computer science class. Trisha Hamilton doesn’t have time for love but she’s drawn to the girl from the club a few nights ago. What choice do they have to do except fall in love? Thoughts: I did a poll on Instagram asking between the two books which one did you guys think I liked best, and honestly I didn’t know for myself until after I had finished Xeni. Trisha and Alexis are really such an adorable couple but the one thing I loved was the sex work positivity representation in this book. Trisha and Alexis’ relationship developed quite beautifully despite the length of the book and overcame a few subplots that I thought were great such as mental health and complicated family relationships. I also liked that Trisha didn’t go out of her way to have to explain her job and anyone who tried to talk down to her was easily put in their place which I appreciated. It was an opposites attract romance and two black women in love is more than enough for me to say it was a great read. So the result of that poll was Xeni but for quality content, both are a gold star from me. Book 5Christina C. Jones just released a new book called ‘Me+Somebody’s Son: A Heights Story’ which is a novella (and totally contradictory to my dislike towards novellas) but I can’t not want to read this one. As you’ll see from this review, Christiana C Jones is fucking hilarious. I guess that’s why I love her so much, because great minds read alike. (Write alike?) I dunno. I tried. GETTING SCHOOLED BY CHRISTINA C. JONES Rating: 4.5 Blurb: Reece is a grad assistant and has no interest in dating one of her mother’s students. They’re way too young for her anyway except a rude chance encounter proves her wrong. At least on the age front, the guy still was very much rude and so she has no interest in dating him. But perhaps he has other ideas for how he wants the rest of this school year to go for the both of them. Thoughts: When I tell you I laughed out loud while reading this book, I’m pretty sure my suitemates did not enjoy hearing me through the walls, cackling to myself at two in the morning. But alas, Christiana C. Jones has a gift. For one, I love me a good war hero. They call to my long bloodline of those who served but aside from that, these two were just plain fun. The way they flirted and it’s the way she fell in love with his writing. Ugh, imagine? The plot line was followed through fairly easy so I loved that this was the book that got me into this author because even though I’m always one for a few good plot twists, I'm glad that the subplots didn’t derail too from the story. They definitely both had a heavy past and have to come to terms with that individually as well as for themselves and I think it was the lack of development in that backstory that allowed me to dock the .5 stars but honestly I just loved the story for the banter. Highly recommend. BOOK 6I finally got into historical romances! Ever since I started watching Jess from peacelovesbooksxo I’ve been dying to get into historical romances but I didn’t know where to start. Well Tessa Dare was clearly the most obvious choice and lucky for me, we found a winner. SAY YES TO THE MARQUESS BY TESSA DARE Rating: 4 (according to Goodreads) Blurb: Clio has been engaged to be married…for eight years. And now that her fiancé is about to come home, Clio wants to break it off. She’s tired of being the woman “to be wed” and not the one already married. But Rafe, Clio’s betrothed, is determined to keep Clio from breaking things off so he offers to plan her wedding. And of course they end up falling in love instead. Thoughts: As I was looking at my ratings for these books I was trying to decide why I chose this book over the other Tessa Dare book that I loved and rated higher but I remember it’s because Rafe is a freaking gem. His name also rhymes with his title: Rake. (Which means dangerous, single, bad boy in historical romance terms). And you know how much I’m a sucker for those. I’m also a sucker for great banter and the scenes between these two were iconic. There was a cake tasting scene and a stolen kiss that really was fantastique. Not to mention, I did not see that Happily Ever After (HEA) coming at all and I LOVED IT. I can usually predict the endings, I mean romance books typically have the same formula but it’s always the way things are executed that add to the momentum of the scene. And this one was creative so gold stars for that one. And as much as I love family dynamics and good side characters in my books, Clio has great friends though they are not the main stars of this book and somehow it still worked for me being that a lot of the story focused on just these two. Overall, It was so great and now I’m forever a changed woman. Send all the historical romances my way babyy. BOOK 7Honestly I had another book on this list that I really wanted to talk about but I already have a review of that entire trilogy so I’ll link that blog post here and just move on to talk about another Penny Reid book (from her second series!) instead. BEARD IN MIND (WINSTON BROTHERS #4) BY PENNY REID Rating: 5 Blurb: Shelly Sullivan has a chip on her shoulder. Like a mean, snarky, not even nice to customers kind of chip on her shoulder. And Beau is the nicest most charismatic guy in town. Except, when he talks to Shelly. How can this gorgeous mechanic who knows so much about cars (enough to tell him when he’s doing his job wrong) and owns a parrot that only speaks in cuss words draw him in? He wants Shelly gone except…not really. Not once he gets to know her, the real her, and she gets to know him. Thoughts: It’s the way I was screaming about this book on my Goodreads…and I only wrote five freaking lines as a review. Don’t I know I have to rely on my own trash memory for future blog posts? Smh. Anyways, I know why I loved this book more than anything in the series and it was because this book talked about OCD representation and depicted that relationship between mental illness and being involved with a partner so beautifully. This book talked about positive clients and therapist relationships so beautifully. And this book featured freaking Shelly who I can’t say much about in terms of her relations to other characters because it spoils some of the other books in the other series but it was also done, beautifully. So please read it. It was so amazing and the relationship was so real and the formula for what you would call a “romance” was somewhat unconventional and that’s what made it amazing as well. I also loved how Beau’s character was allowed to have so many layers of his personality be pulled back. For being such a ‘charmer’, Reid discussed how that takes a toll on him emotionally and explored something that’s not typically discussed when characters are being described as “charming”. It was absolutely perfect. I also think it’s an own voice story which is fire so I highly recommend. Beau was always my favorite twin anyway, if we’re comparing. Sorry Duane. [read the damn series’ guys. I can’t stop talking about Penny Reid]. BOOK 8Okay so if you were here last year and were able to see my 20 books for 2020 book goals list you might be expecting to see some of the books from that list on here. Or at least an update from it and honestly, it’s not that all of the books on that list were bad I just…didn’t get through the entire list. Covid hit and suddenly I wasn’t interested in all the titles anymore so here we are BUT I did read most of the books and one of them on that list was a success. BIRTHDAY GIRL BY PENELOPE DOUGLAS Rating: 4 Blurb: Jordan isn’t just unavailable, she’s off-limits. I mean, when the man she’s lusting after isn’t her boyfriend but rather her boyfriend’s father, I’d say that makes things more than a little complicated. But at the same time, he’s sweet, and generous, and likes the same music she does…Pike knows better than to fall for the young girl living under his roof but she stirs something within him he just can’t turn away. What happens when they both give in? Thoughts: I remember I was so hesitant to read this book! I’m always here for a little scandal but I thought the least of my worries would be the age gap. Well, Penelope Douglas has turned me taboo cuz I’m here for all the action. This was so good. I loved the way the couple fell in love with each other for the things that they liked about each other, the things that they shared in likes and interests with each other. I also loved the angst and tension between the two as Jordan was navigating her relationship and her new attraction. I think I loved the way Pike’s relationship with his son played out the most though. There was no loss of loyalty or love or concern for his son even as he was falling for Jordan. He always kept that relationship in mind even as he and Jordan started to become more involved. I don’t know if I can jump straight into Douglas’ bully romances just yet but this book is definitely my favorite of her’s so far. BOOK 9I haven’t been reading or writing as much poetry this year as I have before but I did find time to completely devour this book. And I must say, as soon as I can get to book two I’ll let you know what I think. I didn’t think I'd love it as much as I do, but I only read modern poetry and there’s a reason this book has high praise. MILK AND HONEY BY RUPI KAUR Rating: 5 Blurb: Split into four chapters, this compelling compilation of poems flows as a story of a lifetime. Depicting stories of violence, abuse, love, loss, and femininity Rupi Kaur tells us a journey about life. Thoughts: I wish I could give you lines from all of my favorite poems but maybe I’ll only give you a few. It was raw and ironic and soulful. The drawings were so simplistic, and along with the writing it made you feel like you were following her train of thought as you were reading. ‘The idea of shrinking is hereditary’, ‘women of color’ and ‘to fathers with daughters’ were some of my favorite poems. Not all of the poems have names but I think the main thing that I loved about this book was that I didn’t feel like I needed to start and then stop the book to read. (Which is the main reason why I haven’t finished another poetry book that I own). I was able to read it in one sitting because they all just added to the narrative and it was amazing. loving you was breathing but the breath disappearing before it filled my lungs -when it goes too soon BOOK 10We shouldn't be surprised that Colleen Hoover is on this list. She’s literally my favorite author so when the third and final book to her duet (there’s also a novella) came out I nearly died. Basically, it’s fitting that she’s number ten on this list. MAYBE NOW BY COLLEEN HOOVER Rating: 4 Blurb: A continuation of the musical story with Sydney and Ridge, featuring Maggie and a superfly doctor, Warren and his crude remarks and Bridgette and her only occasionally bad attitude. Oh and a happily ever after, of course. Thoughts: Honestly, I loved this series and this book. I only rated it a four stars because I felt that the story wrapped up too quickly but it was soo beautiful to watch; Sydney and Ridge learn how to grow together in their relationship outside of the guilt and the deceit. How Ridge and Maggie found new ways to be friends and how everyone learned new dynamics of being a family after everything that had happened with them. We get to see more music writing and work with the band which I loved. But by far my favorite part would have to be Jake because man, if I’ve ever seen a mature and freeing relationship…. It’s the way Hoover knows how to write such beautiful characters. And to be able to feature two couples in a book and truly showcase their different dynamics and how that plays on the well roundedness of their personalities was amazing to read. Plus I loved having Maggie’s point of view for this book because I was really curious to see how she was going to move on after everything in the last book. Hoover didn’t end Maybe Someday on this epic cliffhanger either which is why I was surprised when this came out but after my glimpse at the Wattpad chapters I just knew I had to get this book. And here it is! Read Maybe Someday first, you won’t regret it. Now, this year’s honorable mentions are: Beard in Waiting (Winston Brothers #3.5) by Penny Reid 5 stars A novella Best 11 pages I’ve ever read. Rafe by Rebekah Weatherspoon 4 stars First book in the Loose Ends series. Can be read as a standalone before Xeni and it features a male nanny. *Heart eyes.* Wait for it by Mariana Zapata 4 stars Also features kids and a kid’s coach who’s a little hostile but we stan the relationship development and a single mom. Get a life Chloe brown by Talia Hibbert 4 stars Everyone and their momma has been raving about this damn book and I’m one of those people. She has a chronic illness and she wants to learn how to better live her life with the help of a sexy landlord who owns a motorcycle and has tattoos. I thought the climax was a little cliche but it was well written. And they’re in Britain! I loved the representation in this book. The last letter by Rebecca Yarros 4 stars I was surprised by how much I loved this book. It was hauntingly beautiful. About a mom who writes to her brother’s best friend during war. Then something happens and the best friend is the one taking care of her. We can pretty much garner what happens next but the evolution of the story and their relationship all the while dealing with grief and trauma…beautiful. New Camelot Trilogy by Sierra Simon Average rating: 4 stars I'm surprised by how much I loved this series. It had so many elements that I enjoyed. It’s scanty though but this book has some exciting sex scenes, heart aching romance, and a new modern tale that I didn’t even realize was based on King Author until I looked at the title two books in. Moral of the story, a pretty great read. (It’s a trilogy featuring American Queen, American Prince and American King). And that’s it for this section of (Books that I loved but…) Hope you all enjoyed! takeaway notesThe one thing I loved about my reading journey this year was, I was learning how to fall in love with stories again. There have been so many conversations surrounding the ratings on Goodreads but I loved the experience I got from completing a book and being able to document that feeling and rate that experience. But aside from that, I learned that a great or even favorite book doesn’t always have to be a five star. It might be books that you know one day you’ll reread again because you feel like you can learn more from it or maybe it’s a book that taught you a lesson that you couldn’t have learned somewhere else, even if you didn’t love all aspects of the story. And I think if we’re trying to be insightful on 2020 as a whole, it can help to look back on it as being a year that was a 3 or even a 3.5 rating. It wasn’t a great year, for some it may not have even been a good year, but did it teach you something? Did you come out of it as a different person? What can you still take away from this year that can possibly help you cling onto the things that helped you survive through it? I didn’t want to do a new year’s resolution of goals list this year because I feel like it can be a little daunting given the circumstances—it’s hard to plan for the unexpected—but maybe if we just start small, with new books goals, then it will help push us into our next chapters for 2021.
So, Happy New Year! With love, Arianna Taylor Also make sure to follow me on my Instagram! I’m trying to post more bookish and writing related content on there and it should be a fun time. And here’s a link to Jess’s video to help you keep a lookout for 2021’s Most Anticipated Indie Releases. So, enjoy! 11/13/2020 0 Comments I invested in a new friendIt's been awhile since I've done a life update, hasn't it? Whew, we have a lot to catch up on so let's just jump right into it. How are ya'll though? I hope life is doing a little better since quarantine.
What am I up to? For one, I'm back at school. If you guys follow me on Instagram (you totally should, I think I'm finally figuring out my *aesthetic*) you guys probably already know this by now. But I love being back here! I live in a suite with some of my closest friends and it's been a good time (completely COVID safe environment since most of my friends live with me). But I'm looking forward to going home for the holidays. I've also started a new internship! I'm a media content writer at online magazine, StudyBreaks, which is very cool. I have an editor who's such a queen and I work directly with the CEO which make things so personal. I also have a writing group who gives me feedback and they're so nice. It's such a vibe! But I've loved writing professionally for someone and it's definitely given me a chance to think things through about where I want to take my writing career. I think I've talked about it a little on here about my thoughts for future jobs but honestly, I don't know. And with the state of the world, who the hell would? Either way though, I'm loving the experience so far. I'm also taking in media so much differently now which is an interesting experience so I can't wait to try new writing styles and reach different audiences with different content. So definitely follow my work on there. I have my LinkTree up on my blog account so you can follow all my articles there. Let me know in the comments what you think! What does dating during COVID look like? I've never talked about dating on my blog and I probably won't for a long time after this but I peeked into the online dating world for a brief moment and oh my gosh, it's horrid! Haha. This isn't an advice post so I don't meant to be negative but my honest experience was just...a mess. There are no deep, juicy secrets to tell. For the most part I think I was mainly disinterested because of the amount of work I had to put in just to maintain a simple conversation (which clearly tells me I'm not ready to date) but also, I think I was just on the wrong site. I'm not opposed to it in the future, especially with COVID because it seems safer on all aspects when having a conversation with someone. That way if things get creepy I can just stop talking to them instead of having to worry about a bad date experience, but I can only speak on my experience from the talking stage. But I did come away with some thoughts. For one, "the talking stage" fucking sucks. Like come on, what does that even mean? And why does it have to be a stage? There's the talking stage, and then the dating stage, and then you're in a relationship and when you put it like that there just seems like so many steps and rules that are just unnecessary. If we're "talking" I'm assuming that everything else will follow and the intent is to end up in a relationship (in certain environments of course). But as much as I think I knew about the subvert rules to each stage, to have them re-explained and emphasized to me because "I can't text this because it actually means this" or "I can't type back too fast because that's too eager"...is a lot. I'm a straightforward gal so I think when I finally commit to dating, I'll waste less of my time worrying about the finer rules of what you should and shouldn't do and just put myself out there to see who can handle the initial hurdle. It seems like an easier way to rule out the guys who aren't committed to the kind of stages I'm into. Sitting In the BIG CHAIR isn't as daunting as it seems (now that I'm seasoned). I started therapy! Guys, I just have to say this again, it's necessary, it's worth it and it's amazing. I paid for an outside therapist back in late July, early August during the last few weeks of quarantine but since coming back to school I've switched to one here and it's been life changing. I don't want to say it's going to always be amazing and you're going to feel like it's perfect from the very first try but I definitely went through my fair share of research and therapists and groups in order to find my right fit. I might write a post giving a few tips on what's worked for me and how to find your right fit but let me know if you guys would be interested in that. However, I will say I don't regret starting this journey as nerve wracking and uncertain I was about doing so. And if you're on a college campus or if your school offers the services remotely, please take advantage because it truly can ease some of the tension in your life (or at least help you feel like you're not alone). And if you have even a little bit of money saved, it's worth the cost to invest in your mental health. Trust me, especially after this rough time in all of our lives, we all need to check in with our inner voices and make sure they're still okay or at least managing. Biden Bitches! (Actual text to my suite-mates the day of the win) To be honest, I didn't think too far into the future since the last time I did my post on COVID-19 (I don't think anyone had the information to do so anyway) but I never saw this coming. First of all, this election was STRESSFUL. I hope everyone who was able, voted but even if ya'll didn't, God really did His thing cuz a girlie was scared. *Nervous laugh* But to be honest, I still am. Aside from the hostility that many minorities might face in retaliation to the election, the race was so close. The red on the screen was BRIGHT and the way those swing states SWUNG gave me whiplash. But overall this year highlighted the racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia (all the f'ing isms) that still strongly exist and oppress this country and that reality is scary. So I'm relieved and so incredibly happy about the turnout but my question is "now what?" Texas just hit over 1 million covid cases, people are still dying, minority communities are still suffering at the hands of life threatening bigots and truthfully, I don't even know what the world will look like in the spring with COVID-19. The world so desperately wants to go back to normal and I get that but our old “normal” wasn’t working, and our new normal is still something to discover but first we have to make it happen. And right now, the only way to do that is to stop "envisioning" what our future could like and start putting things to action. The people of America (for the most part) have done their share, now it's up to those in office. It's up to those in the labs. The system is clearly broken, we are broken, so why do we keep trying to fix things? When you glue broken pieces back together on vase as if they’ll fit the same way, that doesn't stop the water from leaking out of it. The vase is fragile and has been for awhile, so let’s buy a new fucking vase and move on. Adapt, and embrace change. That doesn't mean I also don't miss off-campus parties and going to my friend's dorms without a mask on but it's something we have to do for the survival of everyone. It's a small sacrifice for the greater good. So, life is okay. It can always be better but I feel like the rest of the world is has to grow stronger before it can be happy. (Shoutout to Pinterest for that one lol). But until then, we have each other, this community, our friends and family and I hope this doesn't stop us from forming connections with the world and strengthening our inner selves because we need all the love, compassion and understanding we can get. That's all for now. Until Next Time! With love, Arianna Hey guys!
It’s back to school season! Which is so weird during these times. Do you go back or do you stay home? Online classes or take the semester off? Can you work or are there other responsibilities? So many questions with hard decisions to make and finally, the time is here. For those of you wondering, I'm back in school safely. I'll be adapting to taking online classes just like some of you but it's an adjustment as I learn how to balance safe socializing and being isolated in my room all day with classes. So far I've been okay but it's an adjustment. The point is, there are always going to be other responsibilities to consider when making these decisions and if you are going back to school it’s easy to think and feel overwhelmed. We’ve been home for months sitting in our jammies and watching Netflix all day. Or we’ve been working and we just can’t seem to catch a break as classes are set to resume in the next couple of weeks. Whatever your situation is, I hope you’re doing okay. But as I’ve talked with many of my friends, the feelings are sort of the same: nervousness, excitement, uncertainty, and just plain fear. So I wanted to give these tips in hopes that they’ll help to push you forward and keep you going once you get back into the swing of things—whether that be school or work or your other responsibilities—I want these tips to be things that can help ease your mind as I let you know, you’re not alone in these thoughts and here are some ways that can help. So let’s get into it! 1. Start slow. I don’t know about you but I was always the girl at the end of a summer break who had to finish her assignments three days before school started. I should have known I was setting myself up because since I never took the proper time to prepare before school, as soon as it did everything else was a steep incline. But given the state of our shaky mental health and constant ‘other’ worries, allow yourself to start slow this year. Plan two weeks ahead if you have to, if you can, but build up to the big things. We're always told at the beginning of the school year that we have to "get back" into our routine but now I’m suggesting that you build that routine from scratch. Figure out what works for you by leaving space for things to be moved around in your schedule until you can mentally handle it and also not be behind in your work. For example, last semester if you used to take your showers at night and do work in the morning but you realize you can get more work done the other way around, recognize that last year, your old schedule wasn't as productive and try something new. Or maybe you were doing all of your assignments one day at a time and always found yourself working and had very little time to rest and socialize. Recognize that so you can drop a club this year in order to make more time for school or dedicate an entire day to work so you have more time for other activities and yourself. But the worst thing would be to try and jump back into things full speed ahead and tackle things the same way we left them because it’s not possible and it’s not fair to ourselves. We’re changed, we’re also a little rusty, and that’s okay but we need to take the time to be patient with ourselves so that we don’t easily become overwhelmed and burnout before we’ve even begun. So start slow, build your schedule and routine simultaneously that way once things are running full speed you’ll be at the same pace and feel more comfortable with yourself because you took the time to relearn your old habits or create new ones. 2. Ask for help. When things become overwhelming it can be so easy to just try to figure it out for yourself. Everyone is going through their own thing, you don’t want to bother them, maybe you’re not even sure what questions to ask and that’s okay. Everything else may be attempting to go back to normal but everyone is also learning their routines just like you are and if you’re struggling don’t hesitate to ask those closest to you for help because maybe, they can actually help. Or maybe they can just provide the comfort in letting you know that you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed. See if you and your friends can work together such as studying over zoom calls or planning your classes together over the phone. Allow yourself to be supported by others and to stumble through this new online work/social life balance but also allow those closest to you to help you up when you fall and then you’ll be better prepared to do the same for them. But if you don’t ask, you’ll never know and no one likes a martyr who suffers in silence—not your friends who only want to be there to help you, not your advisors who are getting paid to help (that you’re technically paying) and not you who’s struggling without the help. 3. Which brings me to my next point which is to Check in. College especially can become very isolating when you and your friends run on different schedules and now maybe you don’t even live with some of your closest friends anymore. Adding to the new hybrid and online learning systems it may feel like a chore to have to reach out because you have so much on your plate, but it’s understandable. But what we need to recognize and take away from these months of isolation is that connecting with people no matter how you feel is so incredibly important for mental health and we need to take it seriously. So even if it feels like a chore, take five minutes out of your day to text a friend. Even if you don’t feel like talking, just say 'hey' to let them know you’re there and so you can feel the presence of being with someone. And if you are fortunate enough to be in a safe environment on campus with your friends, dedicate time in your day: five minutes, ten minutes, just to meet with them and say 'hey, how are you doing?' Just those simple check ins can mean a lot and can go a long way because the worst feeling is loneliness while alone but it’s even worse to think that nobody cares when really so many people do. But it can be hard to take those initial first steps, so make a mental reminder or have you and your friends take accountability for each other to reach out at least once. It doesn’t have to be with the same people everyday but just to say you had social interaction today—even if you’re home, you either FaceTimed someone, texted, waved to someone from your window--something because the last thing we need to do is isolate ourselves in our work too. 4. Take Breaks. Another thing quarantine has shown me is that our society needs to learn how to slowww downnn. And it sucks that it had to happen in this way but now that we’re trying to get back on our feet, I feel like it’d be counterproductive to go back to our old and admittedly bad habits. We were always on the go, we never had enough time and suddenly, that's all we had and we realized, was any of it really worth it? What really holds value in our lives: moving fast and filling it with so many things to do or taking time for family, friends and most importantly, yourself? Granted, sometimes life moves too fast for us to catch up. There’s always something for us to do but we never don't have enough time to take five, ten, fifteen minutes to close our eyes and breathe. Or take a nap or do something fun that makes us happy because our happiness is what should be sustaining us, not our obligations. So schedule your breaks, because those moments are going to be the times you'll need to regroup, recharge, reflect and that's just as important as your work. Pushing yourself to go past your work limit breaks down your mental health and right now all we want to do is try and build it back up, so let’s stay consistent with our self care and personal time because we need to make that just as much a part of our routine as we need to do our laundry. Disclaimer: Showers, painting your nails, five minute dance parties, naps, watching your 30 minute John Oliver episode all count as self care and breaks but it can also be something more regulated and less spontaneous such as dedicating time to your face care every night because it helps calm you down. It should always be something you look forward to that allows you to take a step away from everything and you have to commit to it fully in order for it to work. Even if you have to set a timer, make sure it gets done even if you have to go right back into work after. 5. Create Boundaries. We all want to be there for each other, and we all want to be as active and involved as possible because we’ve missed out on so much. I mean, nothing was actually happening but time has slipped away from us and we feel like we have to make up for months of boredom and isolation, which is completely valid but we also need to remember our boundaries. Mentally allowing too much in at once can get overwhelming (as odd as that might sound) and we may slack on our responsibilities later or suddenly be overcommitted to too many things and loose interest fast. Not to say you can’t change your mind but when it comes to close friendships and things you loved doing that are suddenly feeling more like a burden because you have to ‘make up all this time’ you’re not setting the boundaries within yourself to enjoy the thing but also step back and reflect on why these things are important to you and why they make you happy. So set boundaries by saying you’ll commit to your closest friends and your favorite clubs this year that way you don't overload your level or responsibilities but it's also within your right to switch clubs or make new friends or focus on your emotional growth and healing. Make the executive decision to say no to talking on the phone out if your social battery is running low because your friends will still be there tomorrow but cling to the moments that truly mean something because I know the world is still a scary place to be right now. But you don't have to run yourself dry in desperation to hold onto something you don't have any control over. Setting those boundaries again will help you to affirm who you want to be in your life through the things you chose to make a priority, but also define what roles you want to play outside of school commitments and helping to maintain that work/social balance. Physically, there is still a pandemic guys so let’s not take free liberties in hopping from room to room with no mask and no social distancing. Set the terms for what you want and will allow into your personal space and then stick to those rules. Whether that be one person at a time social distancing in your room or having two friends max with hand sanitizer at the door and the door open. But don’t let anyone tell you or convince you to let go of those boundaries that put your health and safety at risk. If they can’t follow your rules then you’ll need to either meet with them only in public spaces where they have no choice but to follow them or you may have to reevaluate ways in which you hang out with that person. You’re not being mean, but as much as you’re protecting yourself you’re protecting them too and everyone needs to take this seriously. Just because we’re starting back up again doesn’t mean that everything is normal, it’s not normal but it’s something we all have to learn how to work around and we all have to do our part in order to keep things operational or else we’ll go right back to the way we were three months ago. 6. And last but not least, Break things down. I talk about being overwhelmed and taking things slow but a part of that is also not letting your to-do list fill up with too much at once. It’s easy to say as soon as you get an assignment, 'do it' but that’s not always realistic. Though, it might be more realistic to dedicate a day to homework tasks and household chores throughout the week. Along with your breaks schedule time to fold your laundry if you forgot the last time or start an assignment that’s coming up that you could squeeze in before you have your online zoom club meeting but would probably make life easier if you just did it now. It’s all a part of being a responsible adult. Blah. Ew. I know, but sometimes you have to realize that you’re never going to want to do things but you have to. In order to look out for your future self, push yourself while your task list is still low, that way even if it piles up for the week it’s not piled up from last week too. And that’s the end of my list! I know it’s titled ‘how to find motivation’ but to be honest, I’m not sure if this list actually helps with that. I can confidently say that my motivation went on a hike in February and got lost in the mountains somewhere. So right now I’m scrambling to find her and bring her ass back but she don’t have cell service sooo. lmao. But my point is, to find it within yourself to ‘work hard’ and ‘be motivated’ isn’t as easy as flicking on and off a switch. The country has gone through a trauma and we’re still living through one right now but attempting to be ‘okay’ isn’t what’s going to help us get through this. Taking time to be patient with ourselves but staying vigilant in all things health and safety is the only way this can work. Our motivation will come from finding our routine and rediscovering ourselves within our old habits and learning how to work around the new disadvantages and limits within ourselves and the world. So don’t force anything if you don’t have to, stay true to the path that you’re on and even if you don’t know what that is yet, stay true to yourself so that when you find that path, your motivation is coming from a place of substance and not a fragile state of false sustenance. Love always, Arianna 7/27/2020 0 Comments Must B nIceHi! Future me writing. I actually have another article written about this on my StudyBreaks page so click here to read more and then come back to this one. Enjoy!
This post is going to be a short one because it came to me at four in the morning but, heyyy guys! How are you? There's a lot to say, but there aren't enough words for me to express them quite yet, but we're here for each other. That's what's important, to stay here for each other, even if we can't always say the words or pick up the phone, know that we still have this community. Let's do what we can to be here, in anyway that we can, interpreting that as many ways as we should--whether it's in spirit or through the comments, just do what you can to help you not feel so alone. Aside from that, I'm wishing you all well. Most of us are all "just okay" and that's...okay. Those of us that need help getting there, I'm sending all the love in the world to help you through this tough time. But on that note, I wanted to share something with you! It's rare that I find things on Youtube now that I actually...like. The people I used to watch are no longer the people I'm drawn to now which is interesting to me. (My interests have changed so vastly in only a few short months, which is crazy because that means I've changed which is always a good thing, but anyways), I found a podcast called Must B Nice created and produced by these two guys, Adam Faze and Jamie Dolan. I have no idea who they are but on the podcast they have a segment called Day by Day telling short fictional stories about our lives during the pandemic. And after listening to only three episodes, I truly think it's amazing. They bring in actors that we know and love or can discover to record such real narratives and my favorite part is at the end when they promote a charity to donate to or learn about. I've really been scouring for new resources for myself and you guys and I was so happy when I finally felt drawn to write about something I'm passionate about again. And I'm glad it can be this. Down below I'm going to link a two part series that I absolutely fell in love with. It's called Class of 2020: Prom and Class of 2020: Graduation and honestly, it's emotional. I mean, it was for me at least. The narratives that are told, the viewpoints that are portrayed are so important and so relieving to hear from someone who can relate to a little bit of everything. From being black in America during the BLM movement, to feeling anxious because of the virus, the stories are so intimate that I feel like even though I'm a rising sophomore in college, any young person can relate to this. I especially wanted to link these episodes because I feel like I've been needing a reason to write again, maybe find some clarity, at the center of all this uncertainty and this definitely helped with that. I mean, of course, I talk to my friends and we all have similar fears and overlapping life problems but it just reminded me that this is happening to all of us. This is bigger than just me and my friends and it needs to be normalized that shit is happening with young people all around the world, even if we feel like we're the only ones most of the time. Our lives are just starting and we're at the center of change and...it's scary as it is empowering. But sometimes, life's problems and fears can overpower the reasons why, the meaning behind our actions and our words, especially when the rest of the world doesn't even seem to be listening to the adults, least of all us. So I just thought that this podcast might be able to bring some clarity and peace to you, and help you know that you're not alone; that this is bigger than all of us and feeling out of control is normal, feeling fear and anxiety is still normal, even months later. But I do want to say, we can't go back to our old "normal". And we shouldn't: black lives matter, families need to stop being ripped away from their homes with kids in cages, and not wearing a mask just because it's uncomfortable shows that there's a lack of compassion for others in our society and that needs to change. But the small stuff matters too--like prom, like high school graduation, like hanging out with your friends. So, prioritize your mental health above all, make the best decisions for you and yours, and wear a fucking mask. It's not that hard. I hope you all enjoy. Stay safe guys. With love, Arianna Links: Class of 2020: Prom Class of 2020: Graduation Ladies and gentlemen, buckle your bootstraps because I’m taking you to Texas and I don’t think I’m ever coming back home… First let me start out by saying, I had in no way planned for this blog post to happen. I hadn’t even planned to read these books and certainly not so quickly. But alas, here we are. Let’s first start with the fact that I'm stingy--and I mean stingy--with my five star ratings. But after I finished reading the first book, I didn't even hesitate and even after sleeping on it, I have yet to take it back. Though, I must admit it was well deserved. I feel like these books go beyond what I liked personally but also how much I valued the writing for each of these novels; between the characters—for their differences, relatability/likeability-- and the overall theme and plot for these stories. Kate Stewart is by far my new favorite author because of the way she can tell a compelling story about people; which is all I can ever aspire to do as a writer, and everything she accomplished by giving me something I had always looked for in novels and finally found. But enough ranting and raving, let’s get into the elements of the books: what I loved, comments on character, style/format of writing and recommendations! Intro: This series is a new adult sports romance based in Texas (hence my cheesy Intro line) set at a fake university...in Texas. It’s got sass and cowgirl boots and a whole lot of heart so let’s get into BOOK 1! The Guy on the Right- Rating 5Summary: This story follows a guy named Theo whose a band geek. At the beginning of the book he’s just coming out of a heartbreaking relationship and so his goal is to loose his virginity. With the help of his more popular, football playing roommate things don’t go as well as he had hoped and on a drunken night that’s where he first meets Laney. Laney is tired of dating assholes who don’t respect her and so she’s swearing off men for the rest of her senior year (Theo is a junior) and they embark on this hilarious and loving friendship. Things I loved: The characters. I think the theme of this entire trilogy that you’ll see as being Kate Stewart’s strongest points in these books is how well she develops her characters. They’re well rounded with quirks and flaws that aren’t just there to say they’re there, but we feel and understand the character’s motives for everything they do. This book focuses heavily on insecurities as being the driving force of the plot’s conflict but it was built up so well throughout the rest of the novel and we get to see a lot of the character development in a way that’s just enough so we feel the angst but understand why the tension is there and how things finally develop into something real. Also, Kate Stewart is freaking hilarious! The banter between this couple was so incredibly funny, the moments they share together were just awesome and real and I love how this trilogy is called The Underdog Series because Theo really was portrayed as a regular guy with fears and ranging emotions and they were compatible for each other but he was the underdog. The plot. There was a never a point in the book where things didn’t make sense for the characters to not be together. As I mentioned before, the insecurities were the main things that were driving this couple away but I thought that because this novel did so well with developing a story between characters, it made sense that there wasn’t some dramatic plot twist that drove them away. Instead it were the flaws of these characters that we saw sprinkled throughout the rest of the story rearing it’s ugly head. I think a lot of times, novels can try too hard to make for an interesting plot in order to drive the story along, but I loved that it stayed between the people we had been following throughout and nothing was too dramatic and it was realistic. I love how this story gave us scenes and moments that were slice’s of life but the scenes always added something more to the story. There was never a point where things felt like a filler or that it was too cheesy, everything was well rounded and came full circle at the end. I also liked how the characters got together about 50 percent into the story because usually I read stories where the characters come together at the end and they get their happily ever after and it makes sense. But there are few that I’ve read where the characters come together so close to the beginning were it feels well developed and then the big conflict happens and the end still feels as well rounded as this one does. Which is also why I appreciated the slice of life moments we were getting, especially after they got together because it wasn’t always happily ever after. The scenes were doing something to either add to character development or lead us up to the overall conflict at the end. Any problems: There weren’t too many problems that I had with this book except the ending of the conflict and how that was handled. I definitely understood why the conflict happened, there was definitely a good build up to it happening but I think this is the only time I felt that there was slightly unnecessary miscommunication. Though, the characters had their motives explained, our main character took more time to coming around than I would have thought but I feel like this was so minor on the grand scheme of things. I think this can be a point made on how people can’t just overcome their insecurities so quickly which I can still appreciate. Even the epilogue, which I felt could have probably been the cheesiest moment in the entire book, was well placed and written and this book was just phenomenal. Extra thoughts: I also want to point how despite how strong our main characters were, how equally strong and developed our secondary characters also were. They weren’t just cardboard cutouts used to drag the story along, you felt their personalities and some of their motivations as well, at least pertaining to the main story. Even though I couldn’t say I was so eager to read about the second person in the trilogy, I think that’s only because I loved this first story so much, I still loved Troy, the second book’s hero, just based off of this book and was definitely interested in his story by the end of this. The Guy on the Left- Rating 4.5Summary: This story is the second book in the trilogy and follows Theo’s roommate named Troy, and Clarissa a single mom. Troy’s a football player with a lot more responsibility than let on and Clarissa is a teacher. This is sort of a second chance romance as Troy tries to be a part of his five year old son’s life. Things I loved: First of all, I’m a sucker for kids in romances when they’re written well and this was simply spectacular. Dante was a little spitfire with interests and personality that were so beautifully portrayed in the novel making him just as important and well rounded of a character. Which I think is so important when writing kids because they shouldn’t just be things used as an end goal to get our main characters together and this definitely was a story about them as a family and them trying to make things work aside from just the romance. Again, the characters were well rounded although I definitely felt that these characters were more consistent and this story wasn’t so much focused on character development as it was the main theme of the story driving our characters motives and how they were challenged to react in their environments. I definitely had stronger emotions towards whose side I was on when conflict arose but I don’t think that had to do with the writing per se, and I appreciated that we were never told who to root for. I definitely felt like this story was supposed to show more of an overall theme of family and loyalty and trust in relationships more than the characters in a relationship themselves. This was a true slow burn in terms of the romance. There weren’t even any steamy scenes until the end but because it was so well written, I didn’t mind. I also loved that Troy’s story was happening at the same timeline as Theo’s story and how many pop up surprises we got from recurring characters. I think this story does an amazing job of building on the characters that we see in the first story, giving them an ending in this story or allowing us to see more relationship building, using this story as a way to cross over from one story into another (whether that be from the first book to this one or preparing us for the characters in this story for the third one). The plot: As I mentioned before, this story definitely was showcasing themes about love, relationships and parenting and I think this story does a great job of developing these themes and explaining this theme in a way that’s not necessarily unconventional, but in ways that make you think and offer different perspectives. I like how this story wasn’t like the first one and instead didn’t build up to a final conflict, instead there were many small conflicts scattered throughout the story that the couple had to jump through and cross together as they discovered who they were with each other and what they wanted to be in the future. I really love how our main character found himself in the end, because I think a lot of romances focus on the characters together and who they are without each other when they are apart but not so much who they are alone (unless it’s at the beginning of the story) so I thought this did that very well. Any problems: I think my two thoughts on this story were how often I didn’t like our heroine. She seemed unnecessarily hostile and untrustworthy at times. I understood her reasons why, she was definitely built up enough as a character for me to feel this way but there were times where I felt she was being immature or just extra and I felt those minor internal conflict battles were getting annoying to an extent. Though again, this critique isn’t about the writing per se, and more so personal thoughts and feelings. I did, however, think this ending tied up a little too fast. Maybe a few more pages could have done things well for me in order for me to feel like the couple had actually gotten to the place they needed to by the end of this book (mainly involving ways to make the reader feel like our heroine should be trusted in wanting to make things work with our hero) but I also think that’s another small part to make this actually a problem for me because in the end things tied up in a nice full circle which I enjoyed. Extra thoughts: I loved the ending of this book and the secondary characters were phenomenal. I thought this book was definitely a heart tugging story and we were always rooting for the characters to get together (even when our heroine was making our hero work so freaking HARD. Lol) This book was also not as lighthearted as the first which isn’t a bad thing but prepare for the deeper plot line but overall I loved it. The guy in the middle- rating 4.5Summary: This story is about the third roommate of Theo and Troy, Lance, and how he comes to be in a relationship with Harper. This is a brief friends with benefits turned loving relationship as well as forbidden romance trope though under more than one different conflict (personal and external) which I enjoyed, along the way. Things I love: Sooo, originally I was going to rate this book 4 stars, but based off of the last five chapters I bumped it up to 4.5. I’ve never felt so compelled to up a rating so late in a book but I had to because Kate Stewart really is Just. That. Bitch. Gosh that ENDING SLAYYYYYED ME. But I’m getting ahead of myself so let me start from the beginning. I loved the romantical development of this relationship. It definitely was a faster slow burn but that was only because this story focuses a lot on their relationship over the course of a few years instead of them actually falling in love. With that being said, I did enjoy the discovery of the problems between the couple and for them individually and how they tried to work through that within the novel. I also enjoyed the characters. Between all three books, I feel like this book started out with the most very sure-of-themselves and well-rounded characters, so there didn’t need to be much self discovery but of course there was which made it make sense for why the plot was more of the driving force keeping our characters apart. This also made the introspection more interesting and allowed it to focus more on the characters surrounded by their conflicts and how to interact with those in the plot which I thought was amazing. This book also dealt with bullying as teenagers and the trauma it causes in young adulthood and mental health; though it was mainly brought into the limelight towards the end it didn’t feel misplaced with the theme of the book and the hints placed throughout which I appreciated and thought made things feel very realistic. The plot: I know for the second book I talked so deeply about the themes being the driving force of the plot, mixing character development and environment to make that story full, but if you take all of my comments that I talked about for that plot, put it towards this book, and just change the themes, that’s this book just….10xs more plot and theme driven. Which I know might make things so confusing and redundant but I hope you can stick with me here. Lol. With this book being the most conflict and plot driven, I love how real-time it felt. There weren’t any spontaneous plot twists that didn’t make sense. I do want to mention the impact of the ending again and how I felt that it was beautifully written, tying up the overall conflict of bullying and depression. This book definitely was more serious than the other two, and the problems that our hero faces is so relatable at least to me which I thought was great. It never felt like the the problems in Lance’s life were “other” than him, they definitely defined him as a character and we got to see the affect of that on him and his relationship. I love how we got to see his family so well flushed out as this book also deals with the impact of being the oldest and responsible son. I also loved how the book made a point to show how things weren’t happily ever after but emphasizes that life isn’t that way but things can still be worked out and be good as long as you have hope and faith and family. (Which is to say, despite this, the book didn’t end on a depressing note at all, so it was a very satisfying pay off to all of our struggles as a reader). And omg THE EPILOGUE! I definitely could have written this under one of the main things I loved but I think putting it under plot is good because the things that I loved about it was the fact that the epilogue ties up all the themes of the books individually and as a series so well. It brings back all of our main characters, shows even more development from the first two couples since we’ve last seen them, and ties in the bigger theme of realism in relationships and life, together so so well. 10/10. Any problems: It’s not a big problem, but the layout of this story was definitely different than the last two in the sense that we follow our main characters over a few years and months and I didn’t love the way the time jumps were woven together. They definitely made sense, and I love how within these time gaps we get to see the personal growth and successes of our main characters, though I thought the way they got back together the first time was a little cheesy but I can forgive it. There’s also the time when they’re in the midst of working things out and he’s such an asshole. Which I know seems so biased but I’m still unsure as to where the anger is coming from to explain these actions. I definitely plan on re-reading this series in the future so hopefully I can I figure it out then and edit my thoughts but my goodness, it was so angsty to read. Though, I thought the inner dialogue was well thought out to try to explain the actions and reactions. At times, it just felt like it was a little too much, especially in the beginning. But again, that might just be me or due to the fact that during this time we got mostly our heroines perspective. My main problem though has to be with the side character and best friend of our heroine. He has an accent and his character is written in the accent in which he speaks. That was hard to read and I admit I definitely skimmed some of the things he said because they just made the reading jarring and hard to concentrate on. I definitely think there could have been a way to allude to the accent and also continually bring it up in order to remind our characters of the ethnicity of the character, though I’m still not sure what ethnicity that is (even though I can guess, I don’t want to assume but I will be asking for opinions to make sure). I’m not sure if I would call this problematic per-se, just very hard to read and unnecessary. Extra thoughts: Despite my criticisms and initial thoughts before the last five chapters, I still thought this book’s message was the most powerful of the three. There’s always that question of: talk about a book that’s changed you and why/how? and I never had one until now. It definitely changes the way I view the world and people, especially us women in the way that we talk about each other and judge. Insecurities about looks can do so much damage and they can really destroy a person’s life and it just makes me want to think about being more conscientious about my first impressions of people. And even if society has programmed us with some of these toxic traits, I too am human and have flaws and make mistakes and it’s always about what you can do to change and grow as a person and I love that this book emphasized that mentality, at least for me. Again, I’m going to mention how the epilogue nearly destroyed me. Just reading the POV after finishing the last chapter brought tears to my eyes because I knew I had come to the end of the book with these amazing characters and their stories. I did not want it to end, I still don’t want things to end and I would love to just have more, but Lance and Harper definitely were the couple that resonated as the most realistic to me and I loved that so much. Final thoughtsKate Stewart really is my new favorite author at the moment and her books are everything I’ve ever needed and now have found. I want to read more of her backlist sometime soon but I have a mile long tbr list right now and I really want to get through other authors and genres first but I will most definitely be coming back to read more of her work in the future. I’m also so glad that I found her now because I would have died if I had to wait for the third book (the guy in the middle just came out in 2020). I read this on kindle unlimited which I highly recommend if you guys are avid readers, especially for romance, they have an amazing selection. I think you get the first month free and then it’s 9.99 after that so, from someone who doesn’t like to pay for anything, it’s totally worth it. I can’t say I’m a huge fan of ebooks for long term but I’m making plans to collect the entire trilogy for my shelves, so if you like to read things to see if they’re worth owning (like I do) I recommend kindle unlimited for this purpose as well. I love how different Kate Stewarts books are each from each other even within the trilogy. She stands out from other authors because of how well developed her characters are which I so heavily enjoy. "My everything is yours"- Troy, The Guy on the Left I know this is a long one but I had been talking about this book series too long not to write to you guys about it so here I am. I hope I did a good enough job of explaining things without giving away too many spoilers. I really just hope you read these books and tell me if you do and what you think because so far this series is my most favorite of the year so I’m pretty happy about that. I actually took a break after reading the second book because I didn’t want the books to start blending together and I’m so glad that I did. I then waited a little while after that to write this review because I wanted this to be my raw and unfiltered thoughts post-reading high so that I could trust my emotions on these books haha. So, I hope you guys are doing well and are reading and watching Netflix at leisure if you can. Stay tuned for my next adventure (reading or other)!
Until Next Time! With love, Arianna P.S. What are some books that have changed you and why? 5/11/2020 0 Comments Ex(pose)sureWhen sunlight hits against,
Elevated cheekbones without your favorite highlighter; And golden hues reflect on uneven toned skin. Your lashes close, dusting your cheeks And your lips are chapped and shaking. You are vulnerable. You are selfish. You are vain. You are skin. When your palms are dry and cracked, Aching, as skin is stretched taught as it reaches for tangible dreams in the sky; Your fingertips graze the clouds of possibilities, But only raindrops fall and drench your sleeves; Your wrists are wet and damp uncomfortably. You are yearning. You are eager. You are hopeful. You are skin. When the light is no longer working for your bathroom mirror, And you’ve run out of acne cream; When your favorite waxing salon has closed down, And you really can’t afford another pair of new jeans… When there are no longer any more clothes to hide under, The dark circles are big enough for everyone to find; When you are naked and standing in the mirror, With no one but yourself to look you in the eye. When your heart aches for the things your hands cannot touch; And your voice is but a whisper after all the words you still didn’t say, Your body reflects the life you’ve lived; And your body is all the love you are. You are torn, You are broken, You are scars, cuts and bruises… And you are skin. I know this kind of ended on a depressing note but first I want to say HI! How are you? I know it’s been so long and the world is really crazy right now. I debated giving a life update--I finished my first year of university (yay!), I made some amazing friends (who really do make the world go round), I’m developing a strong mental, emotional and physical health (we love a growing Queen), and I’m going through this pandemic crises just like all of you. So with that in mind, I decided against the update and created this instead instead. This was an idea that I had in mind for a really long time and I finally created the aesthetic and the pictures to go with it but had no idea what I wanted to create with it until I finally thought--poetry, duh! It's been awhile since we've seen any on the blog so I was excited to share it. Anyways, in spirit of us all going through similar life experiences, (though completely unrelated), I wanted to share a poem about how societal pressures of beauty force us to see things as these imperfections that need to be fixed or covered up. When really, our raw and most authentic and unedited selves are the most beautiful because that’s who we really are and how could we not want to love ourselves? Even though it can be hard. We have to learn and love and appreciate that inner self so that it can reflect to our outer selves before we allow these corporations tell us what they think we’re missing from our lives. After we understand that: "Makeup or no makeup, I’m still beautiful", then we can pile on everything else materialistic and superficial because makeup is fucking fun and it makes you feel fun and sexy and confident. And in the end, that's all any one of us wants to feel on the inside. The point of this or anything really is to help us truly understand who we are and what parts of ourselves we want to reflect to the world--of course the best parts, but are those “best parts” truly you? Or are they the metaphorical “makeup” that we choose to hide behind because we think people will like that version of ourselves better? So make sure you're doing things to feed that inner beauty and not because society tells you there's something wrong with who you really are. Either way, I really thought this poem could help some of you guys to look at the inner and outer beauty being reflected differently through words. DISCLAIMER! I am not calling anyone selfish or vain, I am speaking to the corporations who tell us that we need something more/other than ourselves in order to feel or be beautiful. I definitely played with words and meanings behind punctuation in this poem so I really hope you guys enjoyed. I’m hoping to learn how to reclaim and define definitions of words in life and through my writing that are used to tear us down so that’s kind of my intention behind this. I love you guys, I really hope you guys are all staying safe, staying healthy and I’ll talk to you soon. Until Next Time. With love, Arianna *deep brEaths in, deep breaths out*Hi guys. There’s a lot going on, I know. And if you’re anything like me, in the beginning things left me feeling rushed, confused, panicked, upset, a little scared, and overwhelmed. But that’s okay, because these feelings are so valid. COVID-19 has affected so many people in the biggest and smallest of ways. I am now home, as the rest of my spring semester has been cancelled, and I am to start online classes this upcoming Monday. It’s going to be a tough and odd transition but I wanted to speak to the college students who not only lost their end of year experiences and celebrations--especially the seniors who, for some, have had their celebrations completely cancelled. You've worked so hard to get where you are and I hope you get the celebrations you deserve--but to those who have lost the financial stability and the environmental security that their college or university has provided for them. I just wanted to start this out by saying your voice is being heard and your struggle is valid even if it’s being made to feel anything less than during this time. So, with this eminent and violently active threat spreading across the globe, I also want to tell people that this is an abrupt and disruptive transition for everyone, so be as sympathetic as you are cautious. Not everyone can afford to stay home but that does not mean that everyone can’t take the proper steps to keep safe. I don’t want to go into too much detail about this--if you don’t already, follow me on Instagram because I briefly talked about this on my story as well--but I don’t want this to be a staple on my blog where it’s seen as an opportunity to take advantage of a very troubling time; also, I, as some of you probably are as well, am becoming overwhelmed with the influx of news so I still want my blog to harbor a safe and creative space that can be used as a place of security for some all the while offering the emotional support that I and this community can. In light of this, however, I did come up with a list of things to do during this time. I know that it says “during college breaks” but that is simply because I am in college. But these tips can be used for everyone and anyone who is home and needs to make time move along faster. However, this post will later list tips on staying safe, what social distancing actually means and two video links that have really helped me to understand more of what’s going on during these troubling times. But for now, here’s a list of Things to do During College Breaks. RestI saw a list similar to the one that I’m creating on Pinterest and at the top, the person said that we should rest but not too much. We don’t want to mess up our schedule with getting too much or too little sleep, which I always can agree, though I’m currently up at 2am writing this post when normally I would be asleep. So I guess my advice to you would be to do what works best for you. Don’t force sleep just because you can, try to be regulated in waking up because schedules really help your body stay consistent and not get tired throughout the day, but also adjust to your normal schedule as well. So if you’re normally up at these times when you’re off break, do the same thing you’ve been doing. I think getting more sleep only works if you’ve been getting less than you should during school. So catch up on that and sleep in if you normally have 8ams but try not to go to bed later if you don’t normally do so because it messes up your schedule. Read!As you guys already know, I have my 20 books to finish by the end of 2020 and I’ve done so well guys! I’m seven books into the list and I’m excited to pick up where I left off while being home. I think reading for pleasure is so good because it allows you to simply relax and discover something new--either about yourself or someone else. I’m going to go right ahead here and say “reading is fundamental” because it is! And it can be enjoyable as well. Maybe invite a friend to read a book with you, so you guys can keep each other accountable and be able to talk about it together. Though, I know not everyone enjoys reading per se so it’s a great thing that audiobooks are a thing! Try out audible. I’m trying not to add anymore books to my list because then I’ll get distracted and won’t finish the original list, but just know I have a whole new slew of books to share with you guys that I can hopefully have time to tackle by the end of this year. Clean and reorganize.I can’t lie to you guys and say that I’m not a little messy, especially during midterms and finals week. But since coming home in a scramble, I’ve realized that my room needs an even bigger makeover since leaving for college was also a rush and a scramble. Lol. I don’t want to think of this as a dreadful task or chore however, especially since I love how it feels to have a clean, messy free space. So to make things more enjoyable, I’ve created a playlist for you guys! Follow me on Spotify for all my other playlists but this one is specifically for staying home and tedious chores. I’ve been discovering new music too so we can enjoy this playlist together as we decide whether that shirt on the floor is clean or only “slightly” dirty. Haha. NetflixNeed I say more? Catching up on our movies and tv shows are all we live for during breaks. Sit down and just binge, baby. You’ve earned it. I normally would suggest going out to see that new movie that just came out but in spirit of remaining indoors, stream on amazon prime to watch famous titles (that you know and I love) such as Aladdin (guys, I really loved that live action. Best remake they ever did.), A Quiet Place (because A Quiet Place 2 is coming out soon! I hope it’s a little better than the first one.), or Avengers (because why the hell not and because I shamefully don’t not have Disney Plus. Yet). Again, this is another activity you can still do with friends as you both watch the movie and have each other on FaceTime, or with your family as you use this time to connect at home. I’ve recently started a Netflix original called The Dragon Prince. It’s a cartoon and I’m loving it so far. It’s a huge mental break as I also rewatch Greys Anatomy from season 1 again. Lol. Connect with friends and familyI know this can be hard when you and your friends are so close but must remain so far, but the power of technology shall never fail us! FaceTime, text, voice messages, do what you can to stay connected. Just because you’re far apart doesn’t mean relationships die and all connections are lost. Keep in contact for everyone’s sanity but while you’re home, enjoy being with your family for as much as you can. You’ll need them as you learn to readjust. Start a new project!Projects sound BIG but I like to think big when I have five to six months to plan. They also give you something to look forward to doing everyday. Granted, we still have online classes BUT now you’re home with nothing and no one demanding your physical presence, so take advantage and maybe work on making new music (or creating a new playlist!), or a redecorating your room. I want to write another short story so in between homework I’ll be writing up new scenes. It’ll help keep your mind off of time moving soo...slowly... and it’ll keep your mind busy. Maybe this is the time to start working on that research project you thought you’d have to wait another year to do. It can be educational or it can be something fun but definitely make it something to aspire towards. Take up a new hobbyThat keyboard that your mom got you for your fifteenth birthday that you threw in a closet and never used? Yeah, pull it out, dust it off and learn how to play a few notes. Learn a new song! Take up painting, or knitting, or photography. Learn to ride a skateboard. Bake! Now’s the time to tap into your creative side. You don’t want to loose it! So start your blog or your YouTube channel or your website. Or pick up on a hobby you used to love but have lost time for. My violin looks kind of abandoned in my closet at the moment. Maybe it’s time I picked it up again... Social media breaksThis time is a break above anything else, so treat it as such. We all know how draining social media can be and as much as we want to stay in contact with friends, disconnecting every once in awhile is okay too. It can sometimes be necessary in order to clear your mind and just enjoy the day. So let people know that you’re going off the grid and then just take a day to notice the world around you. Take a walk, center yourself, mediate and just think and focus on you and your life. It’ll leave you more at peace for the next day or few days to come. Self careIt’s so important! Before going home for break I was scrambling to finish big projects for midterms and my stress and anxiety levels were so high. But I’m on break now so I’m using this time to pamper and check in with myself. Do your face masks, run a bath as often as you can, journal and just revive your mental health. Especially now when the future is a little uncertain, you want to have used this time to get you mentally and physically prepared for what’s coming next. And you want to be able to enjoy your break with a fresh mind and a calm heart. Catch up on work!We are still taking classes online so please remember we have homework due. (Cough cough to myself. Lol). But if you’re on break and have assignments or things due when you go back, get ahead or get caught up in whatever way you can. You don’t want to loose too much motivation, that you completely forget everything when coming back. And if you don’t have any work due, then task yourself with looking and applying to jobs and internships for the summer. Some of you may be working now but it always helps to plan ahead for the future. I hope these tips were helpful for you. I’m definitely going to be practicing as many of these as I can. From here on, I will be giving you tips and advice on staying safe with as much information as I can, but I highly recommend you constantly check up on the CDC website. The most reliable updates will be on there. SoCial distancing: what is it?Social distancing is deliberately increasing the physical space between people to avoid spreading illness. Staying at least six feet away from other people lessens your chances of catching COVID-19. (Source: Hopkinsmedicine.org) Practicing social distancing by staying indoors is the easiest way to avoid from contracting and spreading the virus, however staying indoors all day can negatively affect mental health. This is why it’s important to note that social distancing can still be applied to when going outside--whether it’s for leisure or it’s for work--and is best practiced when six feet away to avoid getting caught by a wayward cough or sneeze. Tips for staying safe!Wash your hands for at least 20 seconds. The last bit is easily overlooked but is the most important step. Sing your abc’s or the happy birthday song twice in your head and you’ll be good. And if you don’t have soap and water readily available use hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol. Cover all coughs and sneezes with a tissue or use the inside of your elbow. Immediately after, wash your hands or use hand sanitizer and make sure to throw your tissue in the trash when you’re done. Wear a face mask and gloves at all times. If you can't afford to buy a mask, make one of your own. They can get creative! But it's the best way to keep everyone around you safe. Clean and disinfect frequently touched surfaces daily. If surfaces are dirty, clean them using soap before disinfection. (Source: cdc.gov) Other linksIf you’re in the mood for a little light humor but more facts and information, I recommend-
John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight: Coronavirus I John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight: Coronavirus II Note: I am NOT a health expert, I’ve simply done research on what is available to me. If there is anything here that you’ve found to be false PLEASE let me know. There’s a lot of misinformation being circulated and with the uncertainty among the mass panic and the scary outcomes of this situation, the last thing I want to do is give you guys false information. We are here to support and inform each other so be kind to each other in the comments, share stories if you need to keep each other company--social distancing can feel a lot like social isolation at times--and for any wrong information, give me your source so I can list it down below and I’ll change things right away. Other than that, I love you guys. Stay safe, and I hope you guys can use my earlier tips on What to do During College Breaks to hopefully make this hard time a little easier. With love, Arianna |
AuthorI'm an 21 year old girl who lives in NY. I love to read and write and fashion is my life. Follow me to find out more! Archives
January 2023
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