1/30/2021 0 Comments Let's talk about therapy baby!Welcome back to INTUITIVE MINDS NYC where we’re finally FINALLY talking about the things this title pertains to. So I can’t wait to get into this list of tips with you but know that I only speak from personal experience. Nor am I encouraging or attempting to discourage anyone to try it if they don’t feel it's right for them or not within their means to seek it out. Though I will say, if it can be an option for you, it worked well for me and it might be worth looking into if you’re interested. So stay tuned for tips, stories and opinions as you follow through another part of my mental health journey. *hand smiling emoji* My ExperienceLooking back at the year that was 2020I'm not surprised that my mental health took a certain nosedive because there was so much shit going on. But to everyone who struggled and made it through, I’m so proud of you--of us--because we literally were put to the test and made it out alive. And for everyone still struggling with their mental health I’m sorry and I’m here for you and this community is here for you and supports you through your journey. But I think the one thing I had to learn starting January, peaking in March and breaking down in July, was that mental health is and always will be a journey. Anxiety and depression are things I’m probably going to live with for the rest of my life and all the time things aren’t going to be happy. All the time things also aren’t going to be complete shit and when things do hit the fan that doesn’t mean that I’ve failed, it just means that I'm going through a particularly hard time in life. And that happens, to everyone. I needed to learn how not to define myself by my mental health struggles and the illness itself as who I am. I am not an anxious person, I am simply someone who suffers from anxiety from time to time. Nor does that excuse poor behavior when it comes to taking care of myself and the ways I needed to learn how to exist in the world again. But I think I'm getting ahead of myself here. What I mainly learned was that I can’t do everything on my own. I needed help, so before I even reached out to a therapist, I reached out to a friend of mine who really helped me through such a hard time. (I love you Andre! *kisses*) More than anything, you need to identify yourself with a support system. Someone you can turn to and talk to and just cry and vent to. Or someone who can just be there if all you feel is nothing in the moment. So after reaching out to him and a few other close friends of mine, I was directed to a list of resources that I’ll share with you guys down below. It listed options for therapy sites as well as Instagram accounts that allowed me to feel better about my feed--as well as hotlines to help coax you down if you don’t feel as if you have the support system in your personal life to talk to about these things. zencare.coThe resource list listed Zencare.co as the online therapy site where I could vet therapists according to location, insurance and finances. Though I know there are other places such as Betterhelp that offer similar resources in terms of searching for help (though I think Betterhelp is a little more expensive). Many people were doing discounted rates during the time of March and July which is when I was referred to them so I ended up paying out of pocket for someone near my location and started the princess for interviewing. The one thing that made me go with Zencare instead of Betterhelp is that they pair you with a therapist based off of a series of questions that you answer. They still ask for your preferences and the type of care you think you might need but you don’t decide in the end who you’re paired with. Granted, you can switch therapists as often as you want but that was a process I didn’t want to go through at the time. I personally thought Zencare gave me more freedom. interviewingI think the one thing I had to learn was that vetting a therapist is just like anything. You want someone who can give you the best care, that can tailor most specifically to your needs and simply put, you can connect with. It’s like orientation day where you’re introducing yourself and making all of these connections but only a few of them become your friends. And in a way you want your therapist to be someone you can talk with and feel comfortable sharing your issues with. Now I know there is the stigma for mental health for POC who frequently feel their needs being misheard or misunderstood because there are rarely people that look like us in these fields. I will say that I did end up looking for someone who looked like me but it also depends on your level of comfortability on whether or not you can speak with a white woman about your black upbringing. There’s a difference and there will always be a level of uncertainty about how honest you can truly be with this person. Though, both of these sites give you the option to tailor your therapist to your needs and if you can’t find someone you’re comfortable with, then you keep trying until you do. It can be a draining process but it’s necessary. I went through a few phone interviews before settling on my person. And I became used to some of the questions that were being asked and began to expect what would be expected of me in therapy and what I should look for when I was speaking with this person. 1. Do the questions and answers flow? (Does it feel natural to talk and hold a conversation with them? Awkward pauses are natural, especially if you’re nervous but is the therapist able to engage you and keep you talking? Do you feel like they truly understand what you’re talking about when you speak to them?) 2. What are you coming to therapy for? 3. What are experiencing--feelings, physical sensations 4. What do you hope to accomplish in therapy--personal goals, mental goals: ex. ways to manage, solution to problems 5. Have you been in therapy before? If so, what did you explore with your last therapist? 6. What are you looking for in a therapist? These are just to name a few, but the main thing to do is to make sure you ask all of your questions. Things like: do you take my insurance, how often a week will we be meeting, how do you handle patients like me specifically (ex. 19 year old in college with x problems), what do your therapy techniques look like? You want to be able to truly gage if you would be a good fit for their service and if they would be able to do the same for you. Ask for clarification on things they say that you may not understand. Therapists have their own kind of language and you want to be able to understand what they’re talking about if you don’t already. Words like [blank] might come up based on the type of therapy and therapist you’re looking at. Make sure you ask what that means and how that pertains to them being able to treat you. It’s important to walk away from the conversation with enough information so that you can make a decision but it all boils down to the way you feel. If you’re comfortable with this person and can financially afford them, take the risk and always ask about their cancellation process. For the most part you can cancel therapy at any time free of charge (as long as you tell them in advance so they stop charging you) and you can switch if you find that they’re not the perfect match for you. The initial interview call usually lasts for 15 minutes and is free of charge as well which is something to note. Maybe schedule them throughout the week and then look at your notes for each person to see who you want to give the callback. But it’s also understanding to feel drained by the end of this process as well. Forcing yourself to talk about your mental health struggles can be draining so take the time to reflect on what it is that you need and what you’re feeling apart from the interview itself. CostsSince I’ve only gone through Zencare I’m more familiar with their financial process but I’ll try to link both options below. Zencare has a sliding scale option which I loved because it’s a way to allow people who don’t have insurance or are low income to be able to find ways to afford therapy. (Cuz we all know that shit can be expensive) and while I know the pandemic during its peak was a specific time, the sliding sale is still in place. It allowed me to pay out of pocket and to have me be financially responsible for my care--which can be really helpful for those who don’t want their caretakers to know that they’re going to therapy if it’s something you’d rather keep to yourself. It enabled me to pay out of pocket but it’s always something you should talk and ask about with the therapist you intend to work with just to see if you can have the prices lowered. They usually have a number there but negotiation can go a long way, especially if you can explain a little bit of your financial situation. People are more likely to be flexible during these times, especially if you’re college aged. Though there’s also an option to have financial aid which gave me a discount when I signed up for Betterhelp which also has a mixture of sliding scale options and insurance supported options. Though the one thing to note is that therapy is rarely covered by insurance and as discouraging as that can be, it’s also something to plan when looking at your options. If you'd have insurance, see how much of your care would be covered, and if the sliding scale option works out better for you financially and personally then go with that instead. I had to put in certain information but nothing that went through my school or required tax information when it came to the financial aid for Betterhelp though. “To continue, to continue, that is what is necessary”- Van GoghAnd that’s it for part one! I hope you guys enjoyed. Hopefully this can be a little bit useful for anyone who’s curious or unsure about therapy. I just want to say that I am no expert or professional, I’m figuring all of this stuff out just the same way you are. But Ilearned that we’re all just a little bit more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, therapy doesn’t always have to be for emergencies--it can be a way to simply check in with yourself. And it’s not always unattainable for POC as long as we know that we have options out there. The part 2 of this series will be giving alternative options to traditional therapy because I know it still can’t be an option for everyone. Either way, be kind to yourself and one another. The greatest investment we can ever make in this world will be in ourselves.
Wishing you all peace of mind and heart! With love, Arianna
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AuthorI'm an 21 year old girl who lives in NY. I love to read and write and fashion is my life. Follow me to find out more! Archives
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