Hey guys!
It’s back to school season! Which is so weird during these times. Do you go back or do you stay home? Online classes or take the semester off? Can you work or are there other responsibilities? So many questions with hard decisions to make and finally, the time is here. For those of you wondering, I'm back in school safely. I'll be adapting to taking online classes just like some of you but it's an adjustment as I learn how to balance safe socializing and being isolated in my room all day with classes. So far I've been okay but it's an adjustment. The point is, there are always going to be other responsibilities to consider when making these decisions and if you are going back to school it’s easy to think and feel overwhelmed. We’ve been home for months sitting in our jammies and watching Netflix all day. Or we’ve been working and we just can’t seem to catch a break as classes are set to resume in the next couple of weeks. Whatever your situation is, I hope you’re doing okay. But as I’ve talked with many of my friends, the feelings are sort of the same: nervousness, excitement, uncertainty, and just plain fear. So I wanted to give these tips in hopes that they’ll help to push you forward and keep you going once you get back into the swing of things—whether that be school or work or your other responsibilities—I want these tips to be things that can help ease your mind as I let you know, you’re not alone in these thoughts and here are some ways that can help. So let’s get into it! 1. Start slow. I don’t know about you but I was always the girl at the end of a summer break who had to finish her assignments three days before school started. I should have known I was setting myself up because since I never took the proper time to prepare before school, as soon as it did everything else was a steep incline. But given the state of our shaky mental health and constant ‘other’ worries, allow yourself to start slow this year. Plan two weeks ahead if you have to, if you can, but build up to the big things. We're always told at the beginning of the school year that we have to "get back" into our routine but now I’m suggesting that you build that routine from scratch. Figure out what works for you by leaving space for things to be moved around in your schedule until you can mentally handle it and also not be behind in your work. For example, last semester if you used to take your showers at night and do work in the morning but you realize you can get more work done the other way around, recognize that last year, your old schedule wasn't as productive and try something new. Or maybe you were doing all of your assignments one day at a time and always found yourself working and had very little time to rest and socialize. Recognize that so you can drop a club this year in order to make more time for school or dedicate an entire day to work so you have more time for other activities and yourself. But the worst thing would be to try and jump back into things full speed ahead and tackle things the same way we left them because it’s not possible and it’s not fair to ourselves. We’re changed, we’re also a little rusty, and that’s okay but we need to take the time to be patient with ourselves so that we don’t easily become overwhelmed and burnout before we’ve even begun. So start slow, build your schedule and routine simultaneously that way once things are running full speed you’ll be at the same pace and feel more comfortable with yourself because you took the time to relearn your old habits or create new ones. 2. Ask for help. When things become overwhelming it can be so easy to just try to figure it out for yourself. Everyone is going through their own thing, you don’t want to bother them, maybe you’re not even sure what questions to ask and that’s okay. Everything else may be attempting to go back to normal but everyone is also learning their routines just like you are and if you’re struggling don’t hesitate to ask those closest to you for help because maybe, they can actually help. Or maybe they can just provide the comfort in letting you know that you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed. See if you and your friends can work together such as studying over zoom calls or planning your classes together over the phone. Allow yourself to be supported by others and to stumble through this new online work/social life balance but also allow those closest to you to help you up when you fall and then you’ll be better prepared to do the same for them. But if you don’t ask, you’ll never know and no one likes a martyr who suffers in silence—not your friends who only want to be there to help you, not your advisors who are getting paid to help (that you’re technically paying) and not you who’s struggling without the help. 3. Which brings me to my next point which is to Check in. College especially can become very isolating when you and your friends run on different schedules and now maybe you don’t even live with some of your closest friends anymore. Adding to the new hybrid and online learning systems it may feel like a chore to have to reach out because you have so much on your plate, but it’s understandable. But what we need to recognize and take away from these months of isolation is that connecting with people no matter how you feel is so incredibly important for mental health and we need to take it seriously. So even if it feels like a chore, take five minutes out of your day to text a friend. Even if you don’t feel like talking, just say 'hey' to let them know you’re there and so you can feel the presence of being with someone. And if you are fortunate enough to be in a safe environment on campus with your friends, dedicate time in your day: five minutes, ten minutes, just to meet with them and say 'hey, how are you doing?' Just those simple check ins can mean a lot and can go a long way because the worst feeling is loneliness while alone but it’s even worse to think that nobody cares when really so many people do. But it can be hard to take those initial first steps, so make a mental reminder or have you and your friends take accountability for each other to reach out at least once. It doesn’t have to be with the same people everyday but just to say you had social interaction today—even if you’re home, you either FaceTimed someone, texted, waved to someone from your window--something because the last thing we need to do is isolate ourselves in our work too. 4. Take Breaks. Another thing quarantine has shown me is that our society needs to learn how to slowww downnn. And it sucks that it had to happen in this way but now that we’re trying to get back on our feet, I feel like it’d be counterproductive to go back to our old and admittedly bad habits. We were always on the go, we never had enough time and suddenly, that's all we had and we realized, was any of it really worth it? What really holds value in our lives: moving fast and filling it with so many things to do or taking time for family, friends and most importantly, yourself? Granted, sometimes life moves too fast for us to catch up. There’s always something for us to do but we never don't have enough time to take five, ten, fifteen minutes to close our eyes and breathe. Or take a nap or do something fun that makes us happy because our happiness is what should be sustaining us, not our obligations. So schedule your breaks, because those moments are going to be the times you'll need to regroup, recharge, reflect and that's just as important as your work. Pushing yourself to go past your work limit breaks down your mental health and right now all we want to do is try and build it back up, so let’s stay consistent with our self care and personal time because we need to make that just as much a part of our routine as we need to do our laundry. Disclaimer: Showers, painting your nails, five minute dance parties, naps, watching your 30 minute John Oliver episode all count as self care and breaks but it can also be something more regulated and less spontaneous such as dedicating time to your face care every night because it helps calm you down. It should always be something you look forward to that allows you to take a step away from everything and you have to commit to it fully in order for it to work. Even if you have to set a timer, make sure it gets done even if you have to go right back into work after. 5. Create Boundaries. We all want to be there for each other, and we all want to be as active and involved as possible because we’ve missed out on so much. I mean, nothing was actually happening but time has slipped away from us and we feel like we have to make up for months of boredom and isolation, which is completely valid but we also need to remember our boundaries. Mentally allowing too much in at once can get overwhelming (as odd as that might sound) and we may slack on our responsibilities later or suddenly be overcommitted to too many things and loose interest fast. Not to say you can’t change your mind but when it comes to close friendships and things you loved doing that are suddenly feeling more like a burden because you have to ‘make up all this time’ you’re not setting the boundaries within yourself to enjoy the thing but also step back and reflect on why these things are important to you and why they make you happy. So set boundaries by saying you’ll commit to your closest friends and your favorite clubs this year that way you don't overload your level or responsibilities but it's also within your right to switch clubs or make new friends or focus on your emotional growth and healing. Make the executive decision to say no to talking on the phone out if your social battery is running low because your friends will still be there tomorrow but cling to the moments that truly mean something because I know the world is still a scary place to be right now. But you don't have to run yourself dry in desperation to hold onto something you don't have any control over. Setting those boundaries again will help you to affirm who you want to be in your life through the things you chose to make a priority, but also define what roles you want to play outside of school commitments and helping to maintain that work/social balance. Physically, there is still a pandemic guys so let’s not take free liberties in hopping from room to room with no mask and no social distancing. Set the terms for what you want and will allow into your personal space and then stick to those rules. Whether that be one person at a time social distancing in your room or having two friends max with hand sanitizer at the door and the door open. But don’t let anyone tell you or convince you to let go of those boundaries that put your health and safety at risk. If they can’t follow your rules then you’ll need to either meet with them only in public spaces where they have no choice but to follow them or you may have to reevaluate ways in which you hang out with that person. You’re not being mean, but as much as you’re protecting yourself you’re protecting them too and everyone needs to take this seriously. Just because we’re starting back up again doesn’t mean that everything is normal, it’s not normal but it’s something we all have to learn how to work around and we all have to do our part in order to keep things operational or else we’ll go right back to the way we were three months ago. 6. And last but not least, Break things down. I talk about being overwhelmed and taking things slow but a part of that is also not letting your to-do list fill up with too much at once. It’s easy to say as soon as you get an assignment, 'do it' but that’s not always realistic. Though, it might be more realistic to dedicate a day to homework tasks and household chores throughout the week. Along with your breaks schedule time to fold your laundry if you forgot the last time or start an assignment that’s coming up that you could squeeze in before you have your online zoom club meeting but would probably make life easier if you just did it now. It’s all a part of being a responsible adult. Blah. Ew. I know, but sometimes you have to realize that you’re never going to want to do things but you have to. In order to look out for your future self, push yourself while your task list is still low, that way even if it piles up for the week it’s not piled up from last week too. And that’s the end of my list! I know it’s titled ‘how to find motivation’ but to be honest, I’m not sure if this list actually helps with that. I can confidently say that my motivation went on a hike in February and got lost in the mountains somewhere. So right now I’m scrambling to find her and bring her ass back but she don’t have cell service sooo. lmao. But my point is, to find it within yourself to ‘work hard’ and ‘be motivated’ isn’t as easy as flicking on and off a switch. The country has gone through a trauma and we’re still living through one right now but attempting to be ‘okay’ isn’t what’s going to help us get through this. Taking time to be patient with ourselves but staying vigilant in all things health and safety is the only way this can work. Our motivation will come from finding our routine and rediscovering ourselves within our old habits and learning how to work around the new disadvantages and limits within ourselves and the world. So don’t force anything if you don’t have to, stay true to the path that you’re on and even if you don’t know what that is yet, stay true to yourself so that when you find that path, your motivation is coming from a place of substance and not a fragile state of false sustenance. Love always, Arianna
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7/27/2020 0 Comments Must B nIceHi! Future me writing. I actually have another article written about this on my StudyBreaks page so click here to read more and then come back to this one. Enjoy!
This post is going to be a short one because it came to me at four in the morning but, heyyy guys! How are you? There's a lot to say, but there aren't enough words for me to express them quite yet, but we're here for each other. That's what's important, to stay here for each other, even if we can't always say the words or pick up the phone, know that we still have this community. Let's do what we can to be here, in anyway that we can, interpreting that as many ways as we should--whether it's in spirit or through the comments, just do what you can to help you not feel so alone. Aside from that, I'm wishing you all well. Most of us are all "just okay" and that's...okay. Those of us that need help getting there, I'm sending all the love in the world to help you through this tough time. But on that note, I wanted to share something with you! It's rare that I find things on Youtube now that I actually...like. The people I used to watch are no longer the people I'm drawn to now which is interesting to me. (My interests have changed so vastly in only a few short months, which is crazy because that means I've changed which is always a good thing, but anyways), I found a podcast called Must B Nice created and produced by these two guys, Adam Faze and Jamie Dolan. I have no idea who they are but on the podcast they have a segment called Day by Day telling short fictional stories about our lives during the pandemic. And after listening to only three episodes, I truly think it's amazing. They bring in actors that we know and love or can discover to record such real narratives and my favorite part is at the end when they promote a charity to donate to or learn about. I've really been scouring for new resources for myself and you guys and I was so happy when I finally felt drawn to write about something I'm passionate about again. And I'm glad it can be this. Down below I'm going to link a two part series that I absolutely fell in love with. It's called Class of 2020: Prom and Class of 2020: Graduation and honestly, it's emotional. I mean, it was for me at least. The narratives that are told, the viewpoints that are portrayed are so important and so relieving to hear from someone who can relate to a little bit of everything. From being black in America during the BLM movement, to feeling anxious because of the virus, the stories are so intimate that I feel like even though I'm a rising sophomore in college, any young person can relate to this. I especially wanted to link these episodes because I feel like I've been needing a reason to write again, maybe find some clarity, at the center of all this uncertainty and this definitely helped with that. I mean, of course, I talk to my friends and we all have similar fears and overlapping life problems but it just reminded me that this is happening to all of us. This is bigger than just me and my friends and it needs to be normalized that shit is happening with young people all around the world, even if we feel like we're the only ones most of the time. Our lives are just starting and we're at the center of change and...it's scary as it is empowering. But sometimes, life's problems and fears can overpower the reasons why, the meaning behind our actions and our words, especially when the rest of the world doesn't even seem to be listening to the adults, least of all us. So I just thought that this podcast might be able to bring some clarity and peace to you, and help you know that you're not alone; that this is bigger than all of us and feeling out of control is normal, feeling fear and anxiety is still normal, even months later. But I do want to say, we can't go back to our old "normal". And we shouldn't: black lives matter, families need to stop being ripped away from their homes with kids in cages, and not wearing a mask just because it's uncomfortable shows that there's a lack of compassion for others in our society and that needs to change. But the small stuff matters too--like prom, like high school graduation, like hanging out with your friends. So, prioritize your mental health above all, make the best decisions for you and yours, and wear a fucking mask. It's not that hard. I hope you all enjoy. Stay safe guys. With love, Arianna Links: Class of 2020: Prom Class of 2020: Graduation 6/27/2020 0 Comments My favorite black youtubersI've had this idea to list my favorite black YouTubers for awhile now but wanted to wait until I finished with school to do my research and put the list out for you guys. And then George Floyd was murdered. In light of the recent protests and call to change, as well as call for promoting black businesses, products and creators, I thought it'd be even more appropriate to put this list out so you guys can support these fellow creators. I also thought it'd be great to have creators to look to during these trying times. However, I wanted to find more creators that align with my views as well as fit a wide variety of different niche's and so recently my list has changed. As a result, this list is only of the creators that I watch on a daily basis instead of something extremely expansive. I know this list may seem short but it's because I typically don't watch a lot of YouTube in general but I am fully confident in the creators I have listed down below for you guys. So I hope you enjoy. Entertainment Will Smith- We all know him, we all love him and he puts out plenty of entertainment and comedy videos. He literally has an intro to his YouTube channel trailer (which is freaking awesome so I'll link it down below) and as much as he films comedy skits, he aims to aspire, create and just show who he is and who he wants to be outside of his fame. He likes to challenge himself and the limits of humanity by taking risks and involving his family in on all his crazy and fun adventures. And so if you ask why you should watch him, I can honestly just say if you want to be entertained, he's your guy. Books (BookTube) Naya Reads & Smiles- I've really been getting into BookTube recently--YouTube where you talk all about books--and I've been loving the journey so far. Naya is, as her channel says she is, all about reading and all smiles. Her positive energy is absolutely radiant and I love the way she talks about her books with passion, depth and honesty. She's also a killer, curly haired queen. Her book genres seems to range (I've only been following her recently so I can't say for sure) but she seems to definitely prefer fantasy and young adult the most. In her most recent video though, she talks about her most recent experience about being black on BookTube and her support during the Black Lives Matter Movement. She's talked about this topic before however, mentioning other black BookTubers to support which I will have on a second list. So tune in for those honorable mentions. Black BookTuber's get even less opportunities simply because the book community and BookTube community is very obviously white, so I have her video linked when you click on the grey but I do highly encourage checking out all her book reviews and BookTube challenges because there are many. Family Lifestyle Kier & Them- I'm not big on family vloggers simply because I obviously can't relate to what they're going through at that point in their lives, however I love cute kids. I found Kier and Them randomly on Instagram one day and then moved to their YouTube channel where I've been checking in periodically on the journeys and adventures of parenting which is as amazing and hilarious as it seems. Kier and his wife Noemie raise a beautiful toddler little girl but use their platform to talk about healthy parenting, family dynamics and relationships all the while navigating life as millennials. They do challenges and vlogs so if you're looking for a family friendly content, this is the channel to watch. Hair Laurasia Andrea- I found Laurasia on none other than PINTEREST! You guys know my everlasting love for the outdated social media but two years ago, when I was starting my own wig and hair journey, I loved looking at the amazing pictures and then videos of the way Laurasia colored, cut, and designed her own hair. I'm not someone who stays consistent with color and I love anything that's out of the box and wild and Lauraisa has honestly done everything. She also does amazing makeup, which was why it wasn't surprising to learn that she was a makeup artist first. If only she would sell the colorful wigs she designs! Maybe one day, but I admire the hair empire and community she's built online and if you want to continue to support black businesses, she sells her own hair so definitely check her out. I'll link her Instagram down below so you can follow her and see the photos that initially drew me in. But if you're looking for stellar wig creations as well as some very in-depth talks from a powerful girl boss, Laurasia's your girl. Makeup & Beauty Jackie Aina- If you haven't already heard all about this makeup beauty icon, I'm here to tell you all about her now. Jackie does makeup reviews, challenges, and talks on all things from Jordyn Woods to self confidence tips. All her makeup art is “wearable and pretty” [end quote. lol] and she’s a meme queen! Truly authentic, always here to give an honest review for her audience and always someone who does a great job at promoting other black YouTubers and black makeup products which is amazing because we love an uplifting role model. So if you’re looking to grow your beauty and makeup community and don’t know where else to look…start with her. Cuz she’s a queen. Period. Comedy Prince Tai- I honestly don't even remember when and where I found out about Prince Tai, but I've been following his channel for about two years now and his content never goes out of style. He's a gospel artist but on his channel he does black church comedy skits that don't go over more than 2 minutes each and they are absolutely hilarious. For anyone who's grown up in the church, you're laughing from relatability and from anyone who's just on the outside looking in, he relates to all aspects of Christianity all the way to having a special segment just for church grandma's. (Gladys really be trippin' y'all but if we all don't already have one, we all know one. lmao) So if you're looking for some light humor, definitely follow him. You don't have to be religious to watch either so I'll link a video where he's dancing in the mirror during quarantine. It's literally only 20 seconds. Enjoy! Lifestyle Jayla Koriyan TV- When I say boss b$$$$ this is SHE. Jayla actually has two channels--one for lifestyle and one for vlogs--so even though I'm going to recommend both, I'm going to mainly talk about this channel. Jayla talks about all things hair, money and organization tips, as well as what's going on with her hair brand, her book Pretty and Educated, and on how to get your life together. She does so many things that I didn't even know what to narrow down on in order to talk about her but she's also so relatable and has such fun loving energy. I'll leave her second channel down below and with both channels you'll get to see all about her brand for her products if you want to support and buy from her business. Daniella Perkins- Danielle is a 20 year old actress and vlogger. Some of you may know her from starring on Nickelodeon (I honestly couldn't tell you from what. I was a total Disney girl haha) but I love how random and fun her YouTube videos are. Her titles are what drew me in, things like "trying on everything in my closet ft. satisfaction" or "throwing myself a birthday party ft. self love" which I always thought was very cool. But I just love how she seems to always talk to us like we're her friends, on FaceTime, and we're going on these life journeys with her. I also like how her videos are never too long, nothing goes past maybe 15 minutes which I can always appreciate when I just want to watch something short, fun and lighthearted. Kianna Naomi- Okay, next! We have the one, the only, KIANNA! I actually love her. I had been looking for YouTubers who were more my age (back when I first started watching YouTubers in...2018. Yes, I was very late to the party. We should not be surprised) and when I found her it was like a breath of fresh air. I also just want to mention how amazing it is when you're following someone on their journey and can finally look back and recognize when and where they've grown as a person and developed as a channel. It's just such an amazing feeling. Anyways, Kianna talks about fashion, traveling and does vlogs. She recently just left college to pursue acting and other things while living in LA so I highly recommend watching that as well as her other videos. She's also a THRIFTER! For everyone out there looking for tips and tricks on how to style and thrift clothes, she's your girl. Liya Hizkias- And last, but certainly not least, let's talk about Liya! She's an Ethiopian-American college student studying Communications in Los Angeles (straight from her bio haha) but talks about fashion, beauty and vlogs her college adventures all the while giving tips and advice. I initially found Liya from her hair videos but now I like to follow her throughout her life and college journey. If you're looking for someone with fun, creative lifestyle videos, she's the girl for you. I think it's so important that we have and highlight representation online and show the amazing things amazing black women and men have done for our community by being the faces online. Diversity on YouTube needs to be promoted because not often does the algorithm show the content these creators have made when they can circulate white creators instead. The influence of seeing blackness in pop culture and different mediums is so important for our youth in order to encourage us to break into these spaces and to have familiar faces to look up to. When doing makeup, it can be hard to be dark skin and find a shade for you, but Jackie Aina does that. It can be hard to find black authors and books when white YouTubers don't always read outside of the mainstream names of Angie Thomas and Beverly Jenkins. Naya does that for you. Promoting these creators and the spaces that they're in allows black voices to be heard and to be encouraged to continue to grow in the spaces that weren't always made to represent us in the first place. So, I hope this list was helpful for you guys and please, give me a list of some of your favorite black YouTube creators in all genres if you have any. I'd really love to expand my viewing. I also just want to say that these, of course, are not the only black YouTubers out there, nor are they the only ones that I watch but as I've said before, I picked the ones that I watch the most and are most looking forward to exploring in these upcoming weeks. Below I've linked petitions and places to donate to support the Black Lives Matter movement and I hope everyone stays safe, stays united and stays hopeful. Until Next Time. With love, Arianna Link to Will Smith Trailer
Link to Laurasia Andrea's Instagram Prince Tai Jayla's second YouTube channel Links to Petitions Link to Stream To Donate (Watch with ads to help the cause) If you guys have anymore helpful information or links to places to donate or petitions to sign, please let me know! Just because it's no longer in the media doesn't mean the fight is over. When there's no justice, there's no peace. Black Lives Matter. Today, always, and forever. 6/17/2020 4 Comments Blackness: a spoken poemThis is for all the little black and brown girls out there who once in their life felt that their blackness was something that needed to be anything than what it is: Greatness.
BLacknessBlackness, is the skin that I’m in, but what happens when being born black is simply a sin and the only crime you’ll ever commit is to exist? The skin that I tried so hard to shed, in the way that I talked or how I made my friends, working so hard to make somebody, just anybody, to like me, because they couldn’t really see me past the darkness that their parents told them made me a threat, to them and their existence when... it was their existence that suppressed my resistance to a system that made me want to be more like them; because being me was wrong and being black was dangerous and so I tried, so hard, to shed this beautiful skin that I’m in until one day, somebody told me that God gave me this skin because he wanted the sun to love us a little bit more than the rest. And so then, I began to undress all the layers of resentment that they put into me and told me to wear- let my wings fly free after they tried so hard to bend them to fit theirs. Finally let me sing with the rest of my black sun kissed goddesses because they tried so hard to keep me away from the power, they knew I would gain from being united with more people who didn’t look like them. I no longer was afraid to resist because I was already afraid to exist, when my only crime was that I failed to submit to the system that had stolen everything away from me anyway. And so today, I fly. And when you look up in the sky, my skin is the reason why I can dance with God in the clouds so freely, because my skin doesn’t burn when I finally am able to bask in his glow. Untouched by the hands of a world that’s tried to tear me down. And so no longer will I try to shed my skin, again. Because my skin, is nothing but a blessing. You are beautiful, you are black and that makes you powerful. You are not a flaw, a mistake or an imperfection. You are black girl MAGIC and that's on period.
Always with love, Arianna Ladies and gentlemen, buckle your bootstraps because I’m taking you to Texas and I don’t think I’m ever coming back home… First let me start out by saying, I had in no way planned for this blog post to happen. I hadn’t even planned to read these books and certainly not so quickly. But alas, here we are. Let’s first start with the fact that I'm stingy--and I mean stingy--with my five star ratings. But after I finished reading the first book, I didn't even hesitate and even after sleeping on it, I have yet to take it back. Though, I must admit it was well deserved. I feel like these books go beyond what I liked personally but also how much I valued the writing for each of these novels; between the characters—for their differences, relatability/likeability-- and the overall theme and plot for these stories. Kate Stewart is by far my new favorite author because of the way she can tell a compelling story about people; which is all I can ever aspire to do as a writer, and everything she accomplished by giving me something I had always looked for in novels and finally found. But enough ranting and raving, let’s get into the elements of the books: what I loved, comments on character, style/format of writing and recommendations! Intro: This series is a new adult sports romance based in Texas (hence my cheesy Intro line) set at a fake university...in Texas. It’s got sass and cowgirl boots and a whole lot of heart so let’s get into BOOK 1! The Guy on the Right- Rating 5Summary: This story follows a guy named Theo whose a band geek. At the beginning of the book he’s just coming out of a heartbreaking relationship and so his goal is to loose his virginity. With the help of his more popular, football playing roommate things don’t go as well as he had hoped and on a drunken night that’s where he first meets Laney. Laney is tired of dating assholes who don’t respect her and so she’s swearing off men for the rest of her senior year (Theo is a junior) and they embark on this hilarious and loving friendship. Things I loved: The characters. I think the theme of this entire trilogy that you’ll see as being Kate Stewart’s strongest points in these books is how well she develops her characters. They’re well rounded with quirks and flaws that aren’t just there to say they’re there, but we feel and understand the character’s motives for everything they do. This book focuses heavily on insecurities as being the driving force of the plot’s conflict but it was built up so well throughout the rest of the novel and we get to see a lot of the character development in a way that’s just enough so we feel the angst but understand why the tension is there and how things finally develop into something real. Also, Kate Stewart is freaking hilarious! The banter between this couple was so incredibly funny, the moments they share together were just awesome and real and I love how this trilogy is called The Underdog Series because Theo really was portrayed as a regular guy with fears and ranging emotions and they were compatible for each other but he was the underdog. The plot. There was a never a point in the book where things didn’t make sense for the characters to not be together. As I mentioned before, the insecurities were the main things that were driving this couple away but I thought that because this novel did so well with developing a story between characters, it made sense that there wasn’t some dramatic plot twist that drove them away. Instead it were the flaws of these characters that we saw sprinkled throughout the rest of the story rearing it’s ugly head. I think a lot of times, novels can try too hard to make for an interesting plot in order to drive the story along, but I loved that it stayed between the people we had been following throughout and nothing was too dramatic and it was realistic. I love how this story gave us scenes and moments that were slice’s of life but the scenes always added something more to the story. There was never a point where things felt like a filler or that it was too cheesy, everything was well rounded and came full circle at the end. I also liked how the characters got together about 50 percent into the story because usually I read stories where the characters come together at the end and they get their happily ever after and it makes sense. But there are few that I’ve read where the characters come together so close to the beginning were it feels well developed and then the big conflict happens and the end still feels as well rounded as this one does. Which is also why I appreciated the slice of life moments we were getting, especially after they got together because it wasn’t always happily ever after. The scenes were doing something to either add to character development or lead us up to the overall conflict at the end. Any problems: There weren’t too many problems that I had with this book except the ending of the conflict and how that was handled. I definitely understood why the conflict happened, there was definitely a good build up to it happening but I think this is the only time I felt that there was slightly unnecessary miscommunication. Though, the characters had their motives explained, our main character took more time to coming around than I would have thought but I feel like this was so minor on the grand scheme of things. I think this can be a point made on how people can’t just overcome their insecurities so quickly which I can still appreciate. Even the epilogue, which I felt could have probably been the cheesiest moment in the entire book, was well placed and written and this book was just phenomenal. Extra thoughts: I also want to point how despite how strong our main characters were, how equally strong and developed our secondary characters also were. They weren’t just cardboard cutouts used to drag the story along, you felt their personalities and some of their motivations as well, at least pertaining to the main story. Even though I couldn’t say I was so eager to read about the second person in the trilogy, I think that’s only because I loved this first story so much, I still loved Troy, the second book’s hero, just based off of this book and was definitely interested in his story by the end of this. The Guy on the Left- Rating 4.5Summary: This story is the second book in the trilogy and follows Theo’s roommate named Troy, and Clarissa a single mom. Troy’s a football player with a lot more responsibility than let on and Clarissa is a teacher. This is sort of a second chance romance as Troy tries to be a part of his five year old son’s life. Things I loved: First of all, I’m a sucker for kids in romances when they’re written well and this was simply spectacular. Dante was a little spitfire with interests and personality that were so beautifully portrayed in the novel making him just as important and well rounded of a character. Which I think is so important when writing kids because they shouldn’t just be things used as an end goal to get our main characters together and this definitely was a story about them as a family and them trying to make things work aside from just the romance. Again, the characters were well rounded although I definitely felt that these characters were more consistent and this story wasn’t so much focused on character development as it was the main theme of the story driving our characters motives and how they were challenged to react in their environments. I definitely had stronger emotions towards whose side I was on when conflict arose but I don’t think that had to do with the writing per se, and I appreciated that we were never told who to root for. I definitely felt like this story was supposed to show more of an overall theme of family and loyalty and trust in relationships more than the characters in a relationship themselves. This was a true slow burn in terms of the romance. There weren’t even any steamy scenes until the end but because it was so well written, I didn’t mind. I also loved that Troy’s story was happening at the same timeline as Theo’s story and how many pop up surprises we got from recurring characters. I think this story does an amazing job of building on the characters that we see in the first story, giving them an ending in this story or allowing us to see more relationship building, using this story as a way to cross over from one story into another (whether that be from the first book to this one or preparing us for the characters in this story for the third one). The plot: As I mentioned before, this story definitely was showcasing themes about love, relationships and parenting and I think this story does a great job of developing these themes and explaining this theme in a way that’s not necessarily unconventional, but in ways that make you think and offer different perspectives. I like how this story wasn’t like the first one and instead didn’t build up to a final conflict, instead there were many small conflicts scattered throughout the story that the couple had to jump through and cross together as they discovered who they were with each other and what they wanted to be in the future. I really love how our main character found himself in the end, because I think a lot of romances focus on the characters together and who they are without each other when they are apart but not so much who they are alone (unless it’s at the beginning of the story) so I thought this did that very well. Any problems: I think my two thoughts on this story were how often I didn’t like our heroine. She seemed unnecessarily hostile and untrustworthy at times. I understood her reasons why, she was definitely built up enough as a character for me to feel this way but there were times where I felt she was being immature or just extra and I felt those minor internal conflict battles were getting annoying to an extent. Though again, this critique isn’t about the writing per se, and more so personal thoughts and feelings. I did, however, think this ending tied up a little too fast. Maybe a few more pages could have done things well for me in order for me to feel like the couple had actually gotten to the place they needed to by the end of this book (mainly involving ways to make the reader feel like our heroine should be trusted in wanting to make things work with our hero) but I also think that’s another small part to make this actually a problem for me because in the end things tied up in a nice full circle which I enjoyed. Extra thoughts: I loved the ending of this book and the secondary characters were phenomenal. I thought this book was definitely a heart tugging story and we were always rooting for the characters to get together (even when our heroine was making our hero work so freaking HARD. Lol) This book was also not as lighthearted as the first which isn’t a bad thing but prepare for the deeper plot line but overall I loved it. The guy in the middle- rating 4.5Summary: This story is about the third roommate of Theo and Troy, Lance, and how he comes to be in a relationship with Harper. This is a brief friends with benefits turned loving relationship as well as forbidden romance trope though under more than one different conflict (personal and external) which I enjoyed, along the way. Things I love: Sooo, originally I was going to rate this book 4 stars, but based off of the last five chapters I bumped it up to 4.5. I’ve never felt so compelled to up a rating so late in a book but I had to because Kate Stewart really is Just. That. Bitch. Gosh that ENDING SLAYYYYYED ME. But I’m getting ahead of myself so let me start from the beginning. I loved the romantical development of this relationship. It definitely was a faster slow burn but that was only because this story focuses a lot on their relationship over the course of a few years instead of them actually falling in love. With that being said, I did enjoy the discovery of the problems between the couple and for them individually and how they tried to work through that within the novel. I also enjoyed the characters. Between all three books, I feel like this book started out with the most very sure-of-themselves and well-rounded characters, so there didn’t need to be much self discovery but of course there was which made it make sense for why the plot was more of the driving force keeping our characters apart. This also made the introspection more interesting and allowed it to focus more on the characters surrounded by their conflicts and how to interact with those in the plot which I thought was amazing. This book also dealt with bullying as teenagers and the trauma it causes in young adulthood and mental health; though it was mainly brought into the limelight towards the end it didn’t feel misplaced with the theme of the book and the hints placed throughout which I appreciated and thought made things feel very realistic. The plot: I know for the second book I talked so deeply about the themes being the driving force of the plot, mixing character development and environment to make that story full, but if you take all of my comments that I talked about for that plot, put it towards this book, and just change the themes, that’s this book just….10xs more plot and theme driven. Which I know might make things so confusing and redundant but I hope you can stick with me here. Lol. With this book being the most conflict and plot driven, I love how real-time it felt. There weren’t any spontaneous plot twists that didn’t make sense. I do want to mention the impact of the ending again and how I felt that it was beautifully written, tying up the overall conflict of bullying and depression. This book definitely was more serious than the other two, and the problems that our hero faces is so relatable at least to me which I thought was great. It never felt like the the problems in Lance’s life were “other” than him, they definitely defined him as a character and we got to see the affect of that on him and his relationship. I love how we got to see his family so well flushed out as this book also deals with the impact of being the oldest and responsible son. I also loved how the book made a point to show how things weren’t happily ever after but emphasizes that life isn’t that way but things can still be worked out and be good as long as you have hope and faith and family. (Which is to say, despite this, the book didn’t end on a depressing note at all, so it was a very satisfying pay off to all of our struggles as a reader). And omg THE EPILOGUE! I definitely could have written this under one of the main things I loved but I think putting it under plot is good because the things that I loved about it was the fact that the epilogue ties up all the themes of the books individually and as a series so well. It brings back all of our main characters, shows even more development from the first two couples since we’ve last seen them, and ties in the bigger theme of realism in relationships and life, together so so well. 10/10. Any problems: It’s not a big problem, but the layout of this story was definitely different than the last two in the sense that we follow our main characters over a few years and months and I didn’t love the way the time jumps were woven together. They definitely made sense, and I love how within these time gaps we get to see the personal growth and successes of our main characters, though I thought the way they got back together the first time was a little cheesy but I can forgive it. There’s also the time when they’re in the midst of working things out and he’s such an asshole. Which I know seems so biased but I’m still unsure as to where the anger is coming from to explain these actions. I definitely plan on re-reading this series in the future so hopefully I can I figure it out then and edit my thoughts but my goodness, it was so angsty to read. Though, I thought the inner dialogue was well thought out to try to explain the actions and reactions. At times, it just felt like it was a little too much, especially in the beginning. But again, that might just be me or due to the fact that during this time we got mostly our heroines perspective. My main problem though has to be with the side character and best friend of our heroine. He has an accent and his character is written in the accent in which he speaks. That was hard to read and I admit I definitely skimmed some of the things he said because they just made the reading jarring and hard to concentrate on. I definitely think there could have been a way to allude to the accent and also continually bring it up in order to remind our characters of the ethnicity of the character, though I’m still not sure what ethnicity that is (even though I can guess, I don’t want to assume but I will be asking for opinions to make sure). I’m not sure if I would call this problematic per-se, just very hard to read and unnecessary. Extra thoughts: Despite my criticisms and initial thoughts before the last five chapters, I still thought this book’s message was the most powerful of the three. There’s always that question of: talk about a book that’s changed you and why/how? and I never had one until now. It definitely changes the way I view the world and people, especially us women in the way that we talk about each other and judge. Insecurities about looks can do so much damage and they can really destroy a person’s life and it just makes me want to think about being more conscientious about my first impressions of people. And even if society has programmed us with some of these toxic traits, I too am human and have flaws and make mistakes and it’s always about what you can do to change and grow as a person and I love that this book emphasized that mentality, at least for me. Again, I’m going to mention how the epilogue nearly destroyed me. Just reading the POV after finishing the last chapter brought tears to my eyes because I knew I had come to the end of the book with these amazing characters and their stories. I did not want it to end, I still don’t want things to end and I would love to just have more, but Lance and Harper definitely were the couple that resonated as the most realistic to me and I loved that so much. Final thoughtsKate Stewart really is my new favorite author at the moment and her books are everything I’ve ever needed and now have found. I want to read more of her backlist sometime soon but I have a mile long tbr list right now and I really want to get through other authors and genres first but I will most definitely be coming back to read more of her work in the future. I’m also so glad that I found her now because I would have died if I had to wait for the third book (the guy in the middle just came out in 2020). I read this on kindle unlimited which I highly recommend if you guys are avid readers, especially for romance, they have an amazing selection. I think you get the first month free and then it’s 9.99 after that so, from someone who doesn’t like to pay for anything, it’s totally worth it. I can’t say I’m a huge fan of ebooks for long term but I’m making plans to collect the entire trilogy for my shelves, so if you like to read things to see if they’re worth owning (like I do) I recommend kindle unlimited for this purpose as well. I love how different Kate Stewarts books are each from each other even within the trilogy. She stands out from other authors because of how well developed her characters are which I so heavily enjoy. "My everything is yours"- Troy, The Guy on the Left I know this is a long one but I had been talking about this book series too long not to write to you guys about it so here I am. I hope I did a good enough job of explaining things without giving away too many spoilers. I really just hope you read these books and tell me if you do and what you think because so far this series is my most favorite of the year so I’m pretty happy about that. I actually took a break after reading the second book because I didn’t want the books to start blending together and I’m so glad that I did. I then waited a little while after that to write this review because I wanted this to be my raw and unfiltered thoughts post-reading high so that I could trust my emotions on these books haha. So, I hope you guys are doing well and are reading and watching Netflix at leisure if you can. Stay tuned for my next adventure (reading or other)!
Until Next Time! With love, Arianna P.S. What are some books that have changed you and why? 5/11/2020 0 Comments Ex(pose)sureWhen sunlight hits against,
Elevated cheekbones without your favorite highlighter; And golden hues reflect on uneven toned skin. Your lashes close, dusting your cheeks And your lips are chapped and shaking. You are vulnerable. You are selfish. You are vain. You are skin. When your palms are dry and cracked, Aching, as skin is stretched taught as it reaches for tangible dreams in the sky; Your fingertips graze the clouds of possibilities, But only raindrops fall and drench your sleeves; Your wrists are wet and damp uncomfortably. You are yearning. You are eager. You are hopeful. You are skin. When the light is no longer working for your bathroom mirror, And you’ve run out of acne cream; When your favorite waxing salon has closed down, And you really can’t afford another pair of new jeans… When there are no longer any more clothes to hide under, The dark circles are big enough for everyone to find; When you are naked and standing in the mirror, With no one but yourself to look you in the eye. When your heart aches for the things your hands cannot touch; And your voice is but a whisper after all the words you still didn’t say, Your body reflects the life you’ve lived; And your body is all the love you are. You are torn, You are broken, You are scars, cuts and bruises… And you are skin. I know this kind of ended on a depressing note but first I want to say HI! How are you? I know it’s been so long and the world is really crazy right now. I debated giving a life update--I finished my first year of university (yay!), I made some amazing friends (who really do make the world go round), I’m developing a strong mental, emotional and physical health (we love a growing Queen), and I’m going through this pandemic crises just like all of you. So with that in mind, I decided against the update and created this instead instead. This was an idea that I had in mind for a really long time and I finally created the aesthetic and the pictures to go with it but had no idea what I wanted to create with it until I finally thought--poetry, duh! It's been awhile since we've seen any on the blog so I was excited to share it. Anyways, in spirit of us all going through similar life experiences, (though completely unrelated), I wanted to share a poem about how societal pressures of beauty force us to see things as these imperfections that need to be fixed or covered up. When really, our raw and most authentic and unedited selves are the most beautiful because that’s who we really are and how could we not want to love ourselves? Even though it can be hard. We have to learn and love and appreciate that inner self so that it can reflect to our outer selves before we allow these corporations tell us what they think we’re missing from our lives. After we understand that: "Makeup or no makeup, I’m still beautiful", then we can pile on everything else materialistic and superficial because makeup is fucking fun and it makes you feel fun and sexy and confident. And in the end, that's all any one of us wants to feel on the inside. The point of this or anything really is to help us truly understand who we are and what parts of ourselves we want to reflect to the world--of course the best parts, but are those “best parts” truly you? Or are they the metaphorical “makeup” that we choose to hide behind because we think people will like that version of ourselves better? So make sure you're doing things to feed that inner beauty and not because society tells you there's something wrong with who you really are. Either way, I really thought this poem could help some of you guys to look at the inner and outer beauty being reflected differently through words. DISCLAIMER! I am not calling anyone selfish or vain, I am speaking to the corporations who tell us that we need something more/other than ourselves in order to feel or be beautiful. I definitely played with words and meanings behind punctuation in this poem so I really hope you guys enjoyed. I’m hoping to learn how to reclaim and define definitions of words in life and through my writing that are used to tear us down so that’s kind of my intention behind this. I love you guys, I really hope you guys are all staying safe, staying healthy and I’ll talk to you soon. Until Next Time. With love, Arianna *deep brEaths in, deep breaths out*Hi guys. There’s a lot going on, I know. And if you’re anything like me, in the beginning things left me feeling rushed, confused, panicked, upset, a little scared, and overwhelmed. But that’s okay, because these feelings are so valid. COVID-19 has affected so many people in the biggest and smallest of ways. I am now home, as the rest of my spring semester has been cancelled, and I am to start online classes this upcoming Monday. It’s going to be a tough and odd transition but I wanted to speak to the college students who not only lost their end of year experiences and celebrations--especially the seniors who, for some, have had their celebrations completely cancelled. You've worked so hard to get where you are and I hope you get the celebrations you deserve--but to those who have lost the financial stability and the environmental security that their college or university has provided for them. I just wanted to start this out by saying your voice is being heard and your struggle is valid even if it’s being made to feel anything less than during this time. So, with this eminent and violently active threat spreading across the globe, I also want to tell people that this is an abrupt and disruptive transition for everyone, so be as sympathetic as you are cautious. Not everyone can afford to stay home but that does not mean that everyone can’t take the proper steps to keep safe. I don’t want to go into too much detail about this--if you don’t already, follow me on Instagram because I briefly talked about this on my story as well--but I don’t want this to be a staple on my blog where it’s seen as an opportunity to take advantage of a very troubling time; also, I, as some of you probably are as well, am becoming overwhelmed with the influx of news so I still want my blog to harbor a safe and creative space that can be used as a place of security for some all the while offering the emotional support that I and this community can. In light of this, however, I did come up with a list of things to do during this time. I know that it says “during college breaks” but that is simply because I am in college. But these tips can be used for everyone and anyone who is home and needs to make time move along faster. However, this post will later list tips on staying safe, what social distancing actually means and two video links that have really helped me to understand more of what’s going on during these troubling times. But for now, here’s a list of Things to do During College Breaks. RestI saw a list similar to the one that I’m creating on Pinterest and at the top, the person said that we should rest but not too much. We don’t want to mess up our schedule with getting too much or too little sleep, which I always can agree, though I’m currently up at 2am writing this post when normally I would be asleep. So I guess my advice to you would be to do what works best for you. Don’t force sleep just because you can, try to be regulated in waking up because schedules really help your body stay consistent and not get tired throughout the day, but also adjust to your normal schedule as well. So if you’re normally up at these times when you’re off break, do the same thing you’ve been doing. I think getting more sleep only works if you’ve been getting less than you should during school. So catch up on that and sleep in if you normally have 8ams but try not to go to bed later if you don’t normally do so because it messes up your schedule. Read!As you guys already know, I have my 20 books to finish by the end of 2020 and I’ve done so well guys! I’m seven books into the list and I’m excited to pick up where I left off while being home. I think reading for pleasure is so good because it allows you to simply relax and discover something new--either about yourself or someone else. I’m going to go right ahead here and say “reading is fundamental” because it is! And it can be enjoyable as well. Maybe invite a friend to read a book with you, so you guys can keep each other accountable and be able to talk about it together. Though, I know not everyone enjoys reading per se so it’s a great thing that audiobooks are a thing! Try out audible. I’m trying not to add anymore books to my list because then I’ll get distracted and won’t finish the original list, but just know I have a whole new slew of books to share with you guys that I can hopefully have time to tackle by the end of this year. Clean and reorganize.I can’t lie to you guys and say that I’m not a little messy, especially during midterms and finals week. But since coming home in a scramble, I’ve realized that my room needs an even bigger makeover since leaving for college was also a rush and a scramble. Lol. I don’t want to think of this as a dreadful task or chore however, especially since I love how it feels to have a clean, messy free space. So to make things more enjoyable, I’ve created a playlist for you guys! Follow me on Spotify for all my other playlists but this one is specifically for staying home and tedious chores. I’ve been discovering new music too so we can enjoy this playlist together as we decide whether that shirt on the floor is clean or only “slightly” dirty. Haha. NetflixNeed I say more? Catching up on our movies and tv shows are all we live for during breaks. Sit down and just binge, baby. You’ve earned it. I normally would suggest going out to see that new movie that just came out but in spirit of remaining indoors, stream on amazon prime to watch famous titles (that you know and I love) such as Aladdin (guys, I really loved that live action. Best remake they ever did.), A Quiet Place (because A Quiet Place 2 is coming out soon! I hope it’s a little better than the first one.), or Avengers (because why the hell not and because I shamefully don’t not have Disney Plus. Yet). Again, this is another activity you can still do with friends as you both watch the movie and have each other on FaceTime, or with your family as you use this time to connect at home. I’ve recently started a Netflix original called The Dragon Prince. It’s a cartoon and I’m loving it so far. It’s a huge mental break as I also rewatch Greys Anatomy from season 1 again. Lol. Connect with friends and familyI know this can be hard when you and your friends are so close but must remain so far, but the power of technology shall never fail us! FaceTime, text, voice messages, do what you can to stay connected. Just because you’re far apart doesn’t mean relationships die and all connections are lost. Keep in contact for everyone’s sanity but while you’re home, enjoy being with your family for as much as you can. You’ll need them as you learn to readjust. Start a new project!Projects sound BIG but I like to think big when I have five to six months to plan. They also give you something to look forward to doing everyday. Granted, we still have online classes BUT now you’re home with nothing and no one demanding your physical presence, so take advantage and maybe work on making new music (or creating a new playlist!), or a redecorating your room. I want to write another short story so in between homework I’ll be writing up new scenes. It’ll help keep your mind off of time moving soo...slowly... and it’ll keep your mind busy. Maybe this is the time to start working on that research project you thought you’d have to wait another year to do. It can be educational or it can be something fun but definitely make it something to aspire towards. Take up a new hobbyThat keyboard that your mom got you for your fifteenth birthday that you threw in a closet and never used? Yeah, pull it out, dust it off and learn how to play a few notes. Learn a new song! Take up painting, or knitting, or photography. Learn to ride a skateboard. Bake! Now’s the time to tap into your creative side. You don’t want to loose it! So start your blog or your YouTube channel or your website. Or pick up on a hobby you used to love but have lost time for. My violin looks kind of abandoned in my closet at the moment. Maybe it’s time I picked it up again... Social media breaksThis time is a break above anything else, so treat it as such. We all know how draining social media can be and as much as we want to stay in contact with friends, disconnecting every once in awhile is okay too. It can sometimes be necessary in order to clear your mind and just enjoy the day. So let people know that you’re going off the grid and then just take a day to notice the world around you. Take a walk, center yourself, mediate and just think and focus on you and your life. It’ll leave you more at peace for the next day or few days to come. Self careIt’s so important! Before going home for break I was scrambling to finish big projects for midterms and my stress and anxiety levels were so high. But I’m on break now so I’m using this time to pamper and check in with myself. Do your face masks, run a bath as often as you can, journal and just revive your mental health. Especially now when the future is a little uncertain, you want to have used this time to get you mentally and physically prepared for what’s coming next. And you want to be able to enjoy your break with a fresh mind and a calm heart. Catch up on work!We are still taking classes online so please remember we have homework due. (Cough cough to myself. Lol). But if you’re on break and have assignments or things due when you go back, get ahead or get caught up in whatever way you can. You don’t want to loose too much motivation, that you completely forget everything when coming back. And if you don’t have any work due, then task yourself with looking and applying to jobs and internships for the summer. Some of you may be working now but it always helps to plan ahead for the future. I hope these tips were helpful for you. I’m definitely going to be practicing as many of these as I can. From here on, I will be giving you tips and advice on staying safe with as much information as I can, but I highly recommend you constantly check up on the CDC website. The most reliable updates will be on there. SoCial distancing: what is it?Social distancing is deliberately increasing the physical space between people to avoid spreading illness. Staying at least six feet away from other people lessens your chances of catching COVID-19. (Source: Hopkinsmedicine.org) Practicing social distancing by staying indoors is the easiest way to avoid from contracting and spreading the virus, however staying indoors all day can negatively affect mental health. This is why it’s important to note that social distancing can still be applied to when going outside--whether it’s for leisure or it’s for work--and is best practiced when six feet away to avoid getting caught by a wayward cough or sneeze. Tips for staying safe!Wash your hands for at least 20 seconds. The last bit is easily overlooked but is the most important step. Sing your abc’s or the happy birthday song twice in your head and you’ll be good. And if you don’t have soap and water readily available use hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol. Cover all coughs and sneezes with a tissue or use the inside of your elbow. Immediately after, wash your hands or use hand sanitizer and make sure to throw your tissue in the trash when you’re done. Wear a face mask and gloves at all times. If you can't afford to buy a mask, make one of your own. They can get creative! But it's the best way to keep everyone around you safe. Clean and disinfect frequently touched surfaces daily. If surfaces are dirty, clean them using soap before disinfection. (Source: cdc.gov) Other linksIf you’re in the mood for a little light humor but more facts and information, I recommend-
John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight: Coronavirus I John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight: Coronavirus II Note: I am NOT a health expert, I’ve simply done research on what is available to me. If there is anything here that you’ve found to be false PLEASE let me know. There’s a lot of misinformation being circulated and with the uncertainty among the mass panic and the scary outcomes of this situation, the last thing I want to do is give you guys false information. We are here to support and inform each other so be kind to each other in the comments, share stories if you need to keep each other company--social distancing can feel a lot like social isolation at times--and for any wrong information, give me your source so I can list it down below and I’ll change things right away. Other than that, I love you guys. Stay safe, and I hope you guys can use my earlier tips on What to do During College Breaks to hopefully make this hard time a little easier. With love, Arianna
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I'm so excited to do this blog post for you guys. I don't do many book related posts but if you guys don't know me, know that I love to read. Unfortunately though (and it's not just me, maybe there's just a universal age where we all just don't read as much. It definitely has something to do with high school and college work loads and teenage/adult responsibilities but I won't go into that right now) anyways, I don't read as much as I used to and when I do, I'm much more selective. So this year I wanted to challenge myself to A. read more! (Duh). And B. To break out of my comfort zone and read books that I normally wouldn't pick up on my own. It's definitely going to be a challenge since I'm a binge reader (so I'll sit and finish a book in one sitting, no breaks in between) but it's good to break old habits. Besides, I learned that it's okay to read and have to come back to a book as long as I finish the book. So that's what this list is. It's a personal goal to read at least twenty books by the end of this year. Of course I want to read more but I feel like twenty is a good number to start with. I can't take all the credit for this list though. I have to give a shout out to this YouTuber I found named Katherine Cassidy who has the most amazing energy when doing book reviews. I love the amount of detail she gives to the books descriptions and how she doesn't just read the back of the cover. She talks personally about certain aspects that she loved throughout the novel without giving any spoilers and any apprehensions she had before reading (not to mention, she had many books on her own list that I've read and loved so I'd say she has good taste. lol). So, most of the books on my list are inspired by three of her videos which I will have linked below. Now, I will warn you, I'm a softy and so my favorite (and pretty much only) genre to read is romance. Contemporary and steamy are my go-to's so the videos down below and some of the books on this list fall under this category, so don't judge but you have been forewarned. Haha. However, since I'm challenging myself, I threw in a few surprises just to push myself (and you) into new territory. I have two poetry books, I have comic books, and I have one non-fiction. I don't think I have any fantasy but maybe if I can finish my twenty books before the year is over then I'll throw one in. It took me so long to finish this list because number 20 was going to be a mystery but I wanted to make sure these were books that I would be able to come back to during my busy schedule and I don't think I'll be able to do that right now for a mystery in order to remember what's happening. (But don't worry Rossena, I will eventually read and finish Gone Girl. I promise. lol). Okay, so now that all introductions are out of the way, let's jump into the list!
1. Shatter Me by Taherah Mafi
I've been trying to read this book for at least a year now. 2019 wasn't the year for it but hopefully in 2020 this book will finally have its time to shine. I have the physical copy of it too so I hope that'll inspire me to get to it faster since I love physical books opposed to reading online. (It's such a hassle, painful for my eyes, and if it's not free it's not for me. Lol.) Anyways, this book is a dystopian thriller which is way out of my comfort zone. Dystopian, for sure (loved The Giver) but thrillers are usually only for movies within my range of interests. I was mainly drawn to this book for its unique writing. One line is written, another has a line through it. I loved that because it's exactly how we think, how we write. We say one thing, cross it out, edit. It was interesting to me but it's something that I'm going to need to dedicate time to reading since this isn't purely romance. Although, for a girl with a fatal touch it must be a pretty interesting story to see how all her relationships work...especially while locked in a cell. Long story short, this'll be fun.
2. Collide by Gail McHugh
This book seems like your typical 'bad boy romance' and I'm totally here for it. I'm not one for love triangles (I hate them actually) but the plot didn't hint at the love triangle so much as having one person in Emily's life and then finding another who is determined to have her. (Cue eye roll) but I love second chance romances so we'll see how it goes.
3. Not So Nice Guy by R.S. Grey
Do some titles ever make you question "why"? I mean, covers, I'm not surprised. When it comes to romance it's no surprise if it's just a variation of a girl and a guy, but this title makes me wonder why Ian isn't as nice of a guy as he apparently is made out to be. In my head I'm wondering if this is hinting to some freaky stuff or maybe a troubled past...I don't know. What do ya'll think? Anyways, I've never read a teacher-teacher romance before. I've read teacher-and something else so I'm excited for this read. It's your typical best friend trope where they end up falling in love but I'm excited to read this one because of the new setting. I hope they keep it pg in front of the kids though because the description didn't say they were professors. I'm all for a good scandal but not with fifth graders in the next room. Lol.
4. Walk of Shame by Lauren Layne
This is a book that I've already crossed off my list (I started out pretty strong this January so a few of the books I'm listing here are crossed off so I'll just tell you what I thought before reading it and then how I felt after reading it). When I started reading it, I was so intrigued. I love cliche romance stories with (mainly) interesting lead characters, that way it gives things a twist. Otherwise, there needs to be a dramatic twist somewhere along the story line in order to keep me hooked. That being said, this book sounded so good! Especially in the way Cassidy described it in her review. It's about this guy and a girl who live in the same building and they each meet each other at five am-him on his way to work and her on her way back from a night out- I was like oh yeah. Opposites attract, here we go. Because usually when I hear this story line starting out with the leads having a common interest, I thought-so maybe the guy and the girl both workout at this same time-but from right off the bat my attention is drawn to the differences. I loved it! Anyways, I have the book linked up above (click the picture!) so that you can get a better feel of the actual description but I must say I was very disappointed after reading this book. It started off so good but in the end it was all just...fluff. Although I didn't expect much from the description but I did expect a whole lot more. Though, as much as I'd really like to go into the details about this book and how I felt about it, I think I'll do full book reviews on each of these after I complete the list. (I know, I totally suck for keeping you hanging like this). But trust me. It'll be worth it. Besides, maybe you'll read this book by then and have an opinion to share about it instead. I'd love to hear what you guys think.
5. Birthday Girl by Penelope Douglas
I'm going to be honest, I'm putting off reading a lot of the books on this list until the last possible moment, even though I really shouldn't. It's the stubbornness in me to read what I think, I know I like (because you never really know until you try) but even though this books falls under romance, for me, it's a little risky. There's a huge age gap and listen, I'm all for a little scandal between 25 and 37 but hot damn, 19 and 38 had my heart stopping just for a second. THAT BEING SAID...Cassidy said that it wasn't freaky or weird and so I'm going to try it out. Besides, the description on Goodreads was enticing so I'm going to try to go into it with an open mind. I'll let you know how it goes.
6. Getting Lucky Number Seven by Cindi Madsen
I looove me a good girl/guy bestfriend-turned-lover-relationship. I love them even more if 1. They're in college (Like Me!) 2. The guy is in sports (which he is) and 3. There's always the nerdy girl with determination and a bucket list. And Number seven, of course, is to have mind-blowing sex. HULLO! Right up my alley. You know, people really are missing out when they say romance novels don't have that much thrill. Because I'll tell you right now that I'm so thrilled to read this book. I hope it's good.
7. The Last Letter by Rebecca Yarros
This was the book I was most excited for on this list and so it was the first book I read after I learned about it. And it was sooo good. It's romance, but for me it felt like more than that. It felt like a story about family and the strengths love can have to build relationships. I don't know how to explain it but it was just a beautiful story, not just a great romance story. It's about a single mother who writes to her brother's best friend who's in the military. (And fun fact about me but I love a good soldier. Count. me. In.) Anyways, They're pen pals for awhile until Beckett comes home and lies to Ella about who he is in order to help her raise her children after something happens to one of them. It's soo good guys. Usually I don't read single mom stories either because not all the times are the kids easily integrated into the story or, sorry to say, but the stories are too mature in the sense that they're really boring. lol. But this one was perfect. Highly recommend.
8. Brooklynaire by Sarina Bowen
I'm not sure why I'm more hesitant to read this one. It's definitely within my usual genre and I actually like hocky romances (despite my disinterest in the actual sport). I think it's because it's not hinting to the buildup of their romance as being the main plot of the story, but rather what happens after they have their one night (and that can either go really good or really bad depending on how the story is written). But I promised myself that I'd go into each story with an open mind and I'm determined to do so. Besides, I like the name Brooklynaire. It reminds me of the city. Haha.
9. The Unhoneynmooners by Christina Lauren
I love Christina Lauren! (From the one other book I've read by them. lol.) This best friend duo of authors has really changed my perspective on female main characters in the best possible way. That being said, highly recommend Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating because that was just spectacular. Best female lead award goes to that book. Hands down. Anyways...The Unhoneymooners. I was intrigued! Perfect plot and perfect setup and given my great experience before, I was expecting ten out of ten reviews for this one too...and to be honest I don't know yet. I haven't finished it, I'm almost done but a bulk of the novel is almost done and I'm not completely satisfied. I'll let you know what I really think when I'm finished with it but for now I've put the novel on pause since I'm worried about how it's going to end (or rather, how I'll feel once it does. Can you tell I don't do well with conflict? lol).
10. The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dane
This is one of those risky novels again. Haha. I love period films but if the cover of a novel has a woman wearing a corset, a poofy dress, and is in the arms of a man in a billowing linen shirt I'll always say pass. (Sorry, but I most definitely judge books by their covers. Oops). Anyways, I'm usually apprehensive about historical romances too because I've read some pretty...offensive plot lines and I'm sorry but no amount of open mindedness will ever allow me to read a romance story based around no consent. Period. On that note, this plot line doesn't seem too bad. I'm hoping the book is better than described on Amazon, especially since I'm going off of Cassidy's energy solely for this one. I'm very interested in writing this book review though, especially for the more risky ones. I want to see how much my perspective has changed either for the book or that sub-theme in general.
11. Never Have I Ever by Lauren Blakely
This book said single sexy dad? Here. And boy am I there. I'm actually really excited to read this book. I had to look up the description again to give you guys my full thought process behind it but I'm 100 percent here for this book. (Which is such a relief after talking so much about my apprehension on the other one's on this list. lol). It's an opposite's attract trope (which sometimes I love and sometimes I'm 'eh' about to be honest). But for me it's the kid that's making me swoon because oof. I'm really excited to see where this goes actually. Plus wedding planners are so cool to read about. I just hope the lawyer has more depth to him than the stereotypes write them out to be.
12. The Risk by Elle Kennedy
Elle Kennedy! Ugh. I love her and have loved her but you know, now I'm not so sure...Anyways, let me jump right in here to say that I've loved Elle Kennedy for a minute. I read her entire Off-Campus series which I absolutely adored and highly recommend. (The Score and The Goal are my two favorite, in that order). So, when I heard that she was doing a second series with FITZY? Ah! I nearly died. I've been waiting on that book for a minute. But not gonna lie, wasn't too thrilled (which is why it's not on this list. Also because I already read it in 2019. Let me know if you guys want me to add a review to that book when I do these since that book is technically the first book in the series. The Risk is the second.) However, This book is a standalone! Other characters are mentioned from her Off-Campus series and from the first book but you don't need to read them in order to understand this one. Anyways, despite my initial disappointment with the start of this series, second chances and all that so I'm here, back again. I was very interested in Brenna as a character from the first book though. I'll get back to you on how I actually felt about the book but it was all good vibes. It's another college hocky romance which I enjoyed and they're rivals. OOOh. So yeah, I was hype.
13. The Play by Elle Kennedy
Okay, so I know I keep mentioning this book review that I'm going to do. Blah Blah Blah BUT even though this may be considered a spoiler on my thoughts to this book, it needs to be said. I liked...some of this book. The ending was pretty awesome not gonna lie HOWEVER the main character is mixed. She's black and latina and before we get too excited about "ooh diversity! Ethnicity! Melanin!" I lowkey felt the stereotypes here. Listen, I'm not saying people can't write diverse characters and perhaps a lot of research was put into this book but to me, I felt like there were a few things that seemed way too surface level to be considered well thought out. This is my one opinion though and I'm really so interested on what you guys think about this. To be honest, this all stirred from one scene (guys, no actually, please read this just so we can talk about this one scene. It's the dance scene. You'll know when you know). But anyways, from there on I started nitpicking every little thing in the entire book about the character and even one reference made about a black guy made in The Score (even though I loved that book but it was just one line that made my brow go up). That being said, I still hope you guys will read it and given the ending you guys will hopefully understand that yes, romance has it's fair share of cheese but damn it's those plot twists we really live for! Okay, enough about this book. Onto the next.
14. Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur
Oh. M. Gee. You guys, I'm not going to lie. It's really hard not to rant and rave about these books after having read them but can we just talk about it. Can we just talk about this PLEASE? Because girl, I nearly died. Yes, I know I'm late to the gravy train but I really am one of those people who just doesn't do things when they're popular. I don't even know why! I swear it's not a thing I force myself to do but it's really just a turn off for me. But anyways, you guys probably already know about this book because HULLO who hasn't? Rupi Kaur really killed y'all in 2014 because she really slayed my ass in January 2020. I can't even lie. This is literally the next book I'm buying on my Amazon wishlist. Anyways, read it again if you haven'tread it awhile. Read it again if you read it yesterday. And tag me with your favorite poem from the book on Instagram because I have plenty. And if you haven't heard of or read this book yet, prepared to be slayed and laid by one true poetry queen. And that's all I have to say about that. Look to Amazon for the boring description because I can't even muster one up without excitement. It doesn't do this woman justice.
15. A Warning by Anynomous: A Senior Trump Administration Official
Guys, I don't know what I was thinking when I picked up this book and said "this will be a great idea not only to read but to add to my list". I had really hoped I wouldn't lie to myself and you this year but this book is mighty hefty and a little dense and I don't know. I may or may not be finishing this book this year. lol. But I sure as hell am going to try! And I really want to, simply because I want to try to be more proactive about my learning, especially keeping up to date with politics. I don't want this book to feel like homework (because the only other nonfiction I've read for fun were magazines and a lifestyle book. I own four and even out of those four I've only finished one. Sadly.) but I feel like this could be something worth pushing through my boredom if it gets to that. But I never know, I could actually love the style of writing and learn something at the same time. There's no pictures though and my lifestyle book had pictures so we're definitely competing for captivity here. lol. Anyways, it's basically a book about the behind the scene's of Trump's presidency and the first words of a senior official who's words of warning "rocked the nation's capitol". Yup, totally copied that from the description but I'm pretty sure the billions of other websites before Goodreads explains this book a whole lot better.
16. Permenant Record by Mary H.K Choi
Mary H.K. Choi! Her name was the first thing I recognized after reading the back of this book. But first, let's talk about how cool the outside cover is. I first picked this book up in Target and it was a hardcover. All I have to say is, if you can find the hardcover, do it just to look at it in person because I personally think it's so freaking cool. Anyways, I recognized the author because she was interviewed by Teen Vogue (I think. I'm pretty sure it was Teen Vogue) about a new book and I just really loved what she had to say to fellow writers. I think I saved the quote from her or at least wrote it down in my notes. She said, "If you want to be a writer, just write. Don't wait for permission...it's really ugly, it's really intolerable but just do it." And you know, it was nice to read that quote again to motivate me. Anyways, I saw her name on this book (and luckily for me, I loved the story behind it first) and so now it's on my list. This book is about a guy who's a year out of college and a internet famous girl who cross paths in Brooklyn (we really need a Bronx love story out here guys. We have so much to offer!) but it's so beautifully modern that I'm so excited to read this story. It's also pretty thick so I feel like there's going to be a beautiful story told on these pages. And then based off of the cool cover, I don't know why but I just feel like this is going to be a good book.
17. The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur
And of course, after reading her first book I looked up her others. And this one is a thick queen and I'm so excited to read it. I read Milk and Honey literally in an hour. (I swear, I was like a bee slurping up honey. It was that good. Wow, the analogies man!) That being said, I want to be able to dedicate that much time to this book as well because I have another poetry book that I've been "in the process" of reading for over a year now and I really fear it's never going to get done. lol. So I want to do this book justice and dedicate a spring break vacation day just to this book. (And hopefully to my other books as well) but at least one day to this book specifically. (Now let me look up what this one is about because I honestly don't know, forgot and didn't care simply because it was another poetry book by her). Okay, The sun and her flowers has five chapters about growth and journey and...hell. Amazon guys. Amazon has all the answers.
18. Teen Titans: Beast Boy (Comic) (Coming September 8, 2020) by Kami Garcia Illustrated by Gabriel Picolo
You know, I found this comic (series? Right now this book will make it a duology but I'm not sure what the contract is on this. Anyways!) because I had followed Gabriel Picolo on Instagram. I had found his artwork five years ago randomly on Pinterest and now years later I'm following him and Kami Garcia and they come out with a whole comic book! I was stoked. Now listen, I can't say I'm a hardcore DC fan (because come on. Those movies really be slacking. Endgame? DC could never) but aside from that, their TV shows are pretty cool and I loove the Teen Titans. And I'm not talking just the Cartoon Network cartoon but the actual cartoon movie. (The Judas Contract was so great.) Anyways, my newfound obsession came with the cartoon artwork of Raven I had been recently seeing and so of course I wanted to write her story with her and Beastboy because HULLO power couple anyone? But yeah, we won't talk about that. Haha. Long story short, I read the Raven comic in a flash (I totally planned that joke. I can'r even lie about my corniness at this point. Lol) and now I've been waiting impatiently for the Beastboy comic WHICH COMES OUT IN SEPTEMBER! So I'm super hype for this to be my summer read. I think I'm going to buy it hardcopy too just because Beastboy really is such a king, man. Highly recommend reading Raven first though. Not because it's not a standalone but because why not? lol. The beastboy comic is a standalone though and the story actually looks so great. It's talking about our lovely teenage years and friendship and growing into our identities...really a good read. I love comics!
19. Grimm Fairy Tales Volume 2 by Joe Tyler and Ralph Tedesco (Sorry no pic for you guys on this one but click on the link and you can see it.)
I must admit, I have not talked about this comic series as often as I probably should considering how much love I have for it. Shout out to my dad for introducing me to this (and comic books in general, I guess. lol) because this series is AMAZING! Let me give a little context though. If you didn't already know (because Disney deceived me during my childhood as it probably has most of us and to be honest, I'm still not mad at it) but anyways, the grimm fairytales are actually quite...grimm. Lol. I'm pretty sure these comics have taken the original stories and modernized them for us 21 century folk but my goodness, my dad gave me volume 1 and all I want to do now is read more about the twisted tales of Cinderella and Red Riding Hood (because honey, humanity really is twisted. lol). Anyways, this is volume two and each comic is a standalone full of 5 short stories (at least in this one). They're all of stories we probably know and love so I personally recommend volume 1 as well but read volume 2 with me just so we can talk about it because whew. I'm excited for this one. I'm definitely buying a hard copy of this because just to own one will make my entire year.
20. Maybe Now by Colleen Hoover
I love Colleen Hoover. As in, if her brain were a walking talking human I would marry it and just listen to the stories it creates for hours. That's how in love I am with Colleen Hoover. Her other book, It Ends With Us, is perfect and I cannot recommend it enough. I read Maybe Someday years ago when it first came out and I fell in love. (I was still into my nook back then and realized-sadly- how much I still hate reading online unless it's free) and then she started posting the beginning chapters to this book on Wattpad. I followed them like an addict until she just stopped and I forgot all about it. But thanks to the power of social media (and her giveaway at the time) I was reminded of it again and instantly decided this would be the perfect ending to my list. Granted, after I finish The Unhoneymooners I'll probably read this one next but I'll try to hold out for as long as I can to at least give the other books a chance. Maybe Now is the third book ending this duology (with one novella in between) so it is highly recommended that you read Maybe Someday first but you don't need to read Maybe Not (the novella) to understand this one (from what I remember) unless you want to, which, trust me, you'll want to. I know this list took so long to get through. I really was just ranting and raving by the end because I couldn't help it. Some of these books have history even if I haven't read them yet. But I'm really excited to complete this list. I'm proud of myself for even starting so soon though so yay me in 2020 for starting off the new year right. I know it's February though but better late than never. Also, HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH! Celebrate black authors and writers in spirit of this month and this post. Comment down below your favorites. Also comment any books you think I should add to my list whether you think I'll like it or not. Really staying on trend here with versatility. Lol. Overall, I really hope this list gave you guys some ideas for some things to read for this year. If not, I hope it challenges you to go out of your comfort zone to read outside of your genre or maybe it'll push you to simply read more this year. Either way, I hope you enjoyed. Until Next Time! With love, Arianna Katherine Cassidy's Videos: Steamy Romance Book Recommendations Episode 1 Steamy Book Recommendations Episode 2 Steamy Book Recommendations 3 1/26/2020 0 Comments College 101: The TruthHI GUYS! Welcome back to the blog. I'm very excited for this post because I've waited soo long to finally talk about this and now...I think it's time. (P.S. Click on the photos to listen. ;) Pride is something that usually is a double edged sword. You either have too much of it (for yourself) or it’s an overwhelming, heartfelt emotion. But no matter on which spectrum you fall, at which time, I think pride deserves to be outwardly expressed even if it may come off a little conceited, and here’s why. When you accomplish something-even with help-you were the one who went through all the trials and tribulations; you thought you wouldn’t get there but somehow you rallied and pulled through-and I think you should allow yourself to feel that pride. No matter what it took for you to get there, or how long, at the end of this journey you accomplished something. I didn’t feel pride when I first got accepted into college. Now don’t get me wrong, I was excited, I was happy, I was relieved, maybe a little shocked but pride? No, for me it took me a long time to feel the pride of having done something to get into the school of my dreams. It’s not the direct fault of anyone but I had many different people who played so many different roles in my life, people that I value and respect, tell me that the path I was trying to take wasn’t going to be worth it; that there was a high possibility that it wouldn’t work, and to look at other options. Long story short, I was discouraged and it was so discouraging that when I actually accomplished my goal-I got into the school of my dreams!-I was still so worried and it took away this overwhelming feeling that I should have been reveling in: the same ones I’m telling you to revel in. College is a risky business to play. There’s the statistics and then there’s a lottery. You’re either exactly what they want or you’re not and it sounds harsh but it also has nothing to do with you even if you’ve put in the work. It may be that they don’t have that many slots to fill and you just barely made the cut. But the truth is, you never know when it comes to institutions, you just have to do everything you can and hope for the best. That being said, there are so many things that can be discouraging on its own aside from waiting anxiously for schools to get back to you, not to mention you’re still a full time high school student. However, try not to let all the pressure dissuade you not only from the process itself but from the possibilities of doing or being something great or from doing what you want to do just because of the stats. I wanted to give advice for high school students through the college process. I wanted to talk more about the SAT’s versus the ACTs (I liked the ACTs better by the way) and I wanted to talk about the pros and cons of going to a state school versus a city school; private institutions versus public; six hours away versus an hour and a half. I wanted to go into detail about the FAFSA process and CSS but...I realized that me writing a list of tips and tricks wasn’t going to help you if they all sounded like every other person who’s written advice on college. It also wasn't going to be easy or fun for me to 1. Remember everything that I went through in order to give you sound and solid advice and 2. Write things that even I’m not educated on. Instead, I wanted to share some of the personal aspects of the college process with you guys, knowing this is the best way you can get a feel for the experience and it’s the most real coming from me. The college process is daunting (or at least, that’s the way it was presented as for me). I wasn’t one of those kids in sixth grade planning to study nursing at Cornell. I didn’t even really decide my major until junior year and it was because I had to. (Luckily for me it didn’t take that long to guess my passion but still) college is all about planning and the future, two things I don’t like to do (I’m a “live in the moment kind of person, to be honest). But starting from my freshman year of high school, I was already being programmed to work hard so that I could get into a good college. Which, on one aspect, I appreciated because it taught me incredible work ethic and to value the skills I learned in school but on the other, it made college seem like the end all be all for life and success which created a ton of pressure and anxiety that I didn’t enjoy. College is a future plan that not many people know if they truly want to commit to but it’s “the only way to get anywhere successful” and we’re all striving for success, right? Eh. Maybe, but not always in that way. Not to mention, the type of school and the name are such bigger factors than they need to be but with the way our society is built, it’s equally as important. I didn’t choose a school that was as well known to the people working with me through the process. It was a shot in the dark, a private institution six hours away with a low acceptance rate...it was a risky business. I put all my cards into this school. I passed up opportunities to further myself in other applications, I traveled the distance numerous times just to push myself forward but only for this school. If things didn’t work out, I could have been left with nothing and that was scary for the people around me but for me, but I felt like this is what I wanted. This is what I needed in a college and I was going to get in. And I don’t say this with arrogance or even confidence but with as much determination as I could muster. (And I did. I got in!). But as much as I was pushing forward to make things happen, there were many voices nagging for me to look at other options or to perhaps take those same steps for my one school, towards the others as well. Now I just want to jump right in here and say that my mom has stood by every decision I’ve ever made and not naively at that. We discussed our options for hours, we weighed the pros and cons, we made a financial and life plan and at the end of the day she's the one who kept pulling me back from all those other voices, reminding me why I'm doing what I'm doing and that this is my life and I'm the only one who has to live it so it should be my choice. And it was, but it wasn't without her constant motivation and encouraging words. I also want to point out that the other people in my life who were also a part of this process were equally amazing. I recognize the roles they had to play and despite their outward concerns there has never been a time when I've needed something and haven't been able to sit down with them and they helped me get through it. This isn't me bashing their name or the responsibilities they had because I know all of their concerns were from a place of valid love and concern. However, the outward caution led me to have many doubts and insecurities throughout and after this process. Though, I look at that as a part of my journey that helped to keep me humble so I didn’t get too lost in the glamour and excitement of everything. It also helped me to look at the reality and responsibility of everything I was doing-It made me fully understand the outcome of my decisions if things didn’t go well-and I made that decision fully knowing what I was walking into and I appreciate that. Though, even after I got in I questioned whether or not I was doing the right thing. Was this the right decision for me? Should I have stayed closer to home? But I’m here now and… I walk past landmarks on my campus that first drew my head high, dropping my jaw with wonder and I just have to stop mid stride and say wow. I’m actually here and I’m living my dream. I didn’t listen to those voices around me but that didn’t mean they didn’t get to me. But I’m also a firm believer in what’s for you will come to you in due time. I also don’t want to say “don’t do what I did” because if you feel passionately about a school or anything in life really, no matter the risk, do it. But just understand the risk that you’re taking, accept that these are your decisions and that results will be from the impact of your actions. Win or lose, be prepared to be proud of the fact that at least you tried. (And it never hurts to have a backup plan, even if it’s a last resort). Maybe you were supposed to learn something from that journey. But don’t give in to the voices if they’re telling you to give up your dream completely. Just remember the reasons for why you’re doing this, picture yourself doing all these amazing things at this institution because it will eventually become your home for the next four years. Don’t lose sight of your goals but when you get to that finish line, push the voices out of your head because you did this. I did this-despite the naysayers. I worked hard to get here-despite how hard and how long it took me. It all paid off-despite all the odds against me. I deserve to feel pride in getting here, in now being here-and you deserve to feel pride after you’ve accomplished all the goals you’ve always wanted to achieve. I say this to you to let you know to keep going, to remind yourself of these things, and to perhaps use me as an example. Now, I’m not saying not to listen to those closest to you when they give you advice, especially through the college process. The people who help you are there to help you but so often people who have been in the business for a long time know the odds and focus on the numbers instead. The odds of doing things for you can either be either really high or really low but I also think you know yourself best and you have to make sure you make decisions that work best for you. Deep down I knew that this is what I wanted. This was the school for me and I worked my hardest to do everything I could to get in and I did.
Dreams do come true if they’re meant to be for you. But if you listen to everyone who whispers in your ear what they think, the things that come your way aren’t going to really be for you, it’s going to be from them. This is your life, live it the way you want to because you’re the only one living it and you deserve to be happy. Hell, you deserve to try and maybe fail and learn from that too and then gain something even better. The college process is long and tumultuous but in the end, if it’s what you want, it’s worth it. So, pride...allow yourself to feel it. Not just after you’ve gotten into college but after you get an A on that test or even a C when you thought you’d fail; feel pride when you graduate even if you didn’t get honors; feel pride for making your bed in the morning when you usually don’t. Allow yourself to feel pride because it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes, it’s all you can feel to express the relief and gratitude at the end of a journey. Your accomplishments are your own, take pride in that. Until Next Time! With Love, Arianna 1/1/2020 4 Comments Grateful: Happy 2020!HAPPY NEW YEAR! I had a whole debate with my mom on New Years Eve about what the big deal was surrounding entering into the new decade. Now don't get me wrong, jumping into another year, especially a new decade is always a blessing in itself. It's amazing and it's exciting and it's a joyful time, because we made it! We are officially one year into the next chapter in our lives. But that's not what the discussion was about. It somehow turned into a conversation about what generation I'm in (Generation Z. All this time I thought I was a millennial!) and why it's so important to us. Even though this is technically not our first decade (shout out to my 2000/2001 babies!) this is the first one that we can remember and be a part of. This is the first one we can celebrate as sort-of adults. Some of us are in college now, starting new chapters in our lives and 2020 is finalizing how long it took for us to get here. It's kind of cool when you think about it. Long story short, I was confusing my mom with all my questions such as: "Is a century only meaningful at the start of every new century?" (but that argument went void after I realized 2010); or "Is it only meaningful because it's the same number repeated (20-20) But then I told her "maybe" since the next time this will happen it'll be the start of another century that I'm not sure any of us will be around to live through. (Can you imagine 3030? That's kind of cool. I wonder what the names of the generations will be by then). Anyways, all this talk about the true meaning of a new year and why it's so important just got me thinking about all the amazing things I've accomplished and lived through not only this year but in my entire life. There are so many people (artists and celebrities) that were my age and didn't get to make it this far-people's lives who were stolen from them, lives ruined as the government ripped families apart, as people found only despair and ended things on their own... I think every new year, every birthday, every holiday, every day we should find time to be thankful and appreciative of the things we have, the life we live because things can always be worse; but also because you're still here, you made it. I mean in these least dramatic and depressing way possible. I also don't write this with the intention of saying everyone should sit back and think back through their struggle and feel like it isn't valid because people are starving and dying or dead but for you to just take the time to appreciate the things that you can. So, what are you grateful for? I have a lot to be grateful for, especially in 2020. 2019 was...whew, it was a whirlwind. I went from senior year to finishing my first college semester. I went to Europe, moved six hours upstate, made lifelong friends, had an emotional break and...life couldn't be anymore confusing and insane but I'm so thankful for everything my experiences and the struggles brought me. I'm grateful for all the amazing times I spent with family and friends and for all the movies I watched and the novels I read. I'm just grateful because, at least for me, I made it out alive and man was it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. What does this mean? I like to think reflecting on the things you're grateful for and having a positive outlook on life helps you to appreciate what you have but also pushes you to aspire and work harder towards the things you don’t have that you may want. Or it may tell you that you need to take a break this year to sit back and breathe and continue to reflect on yourself and your life as you grow as a person. I know people have certain feelings towards having New Years Resolutions or goals or simply the saying "new year, new me" but I think you can call it whatever you want when you're simply grateful for the life you've lived and want to continue to find new and better ways to live it. Whether that means going on with what you've been doing because it's been working for you or if that means trying to find new and better ways to do the things you want to accomplish. Understanding what you have now helps you not to be blinded by the reasons for why you want the things you do. For example, if you want a new bag but have never been able to get it before, if you look around and see what's already in front of you, you'll appreciate the bags you already own and know that you don’t want that bag because that person has it and you don’t, or because that bag will suddenly make you ten times cooler (because trust me, it won't) but you want that bag because it’s cute and its the missing piece you want to complete your wardrobe. That way, when you get this metaphorical bag it’ll be worth more to you personally because of the meaning behind it. (Stay with me through the metaphor. Lol). Especially if it’s super expensive; maybe this bag will represent you owning your first designer item or the first thing you bought with your own money or something to signify your transition into adulthood. You know? But I think starting with what you have humbles and grounds you to recognize that you don’t need these things but you want these things. I think the reason why people are so bent out of shape over having resolutions and goals isn't just because they never get accomplished but because some of these goals may seem like the things that will somehow make our lives "better" and I think that's where we go wrong. For now I'm talking about the tangible things we want out of life (mental and emotional has a different set of rules) but I think the reason why our motivation to "eat healthier" and to "workout more" aren't the things we really need or want for our lives, they're just the things that society presents to us as "the better way to live" which again, is not the case. Let me explain: You want to work out because you want to be healthy but are you doing the things everyone else is doing to work out or are you really dedicating time to finding the workout that works for you? Maybe treadmills and weights aren't for you, maybe yoga is, but when you say workout, Planet Fitness and Soul Cycle are the first things we think of.
All I'm saying is, why do you really want these things because if they're really for you, you'll find a way to get them-but you can't look outside for the things that you want, you have to start with what you have and see where you can grow, not necessarily where you're lacking. Putting so much pressure to fill this void is going to be harder than just trying to add greater, happier, better things to the things you already have. In the case of my metaphorical purse, just define what it would really mean for you to have and to accomplish these things in the new year and do them at your own pace. This year I learned a lot about trying not to keep up with everyone's definition of success so that I could define what that really means for me. If that's something you've been struggling with, this is the great way to start. Having these things won’t make you a better or worse person but help you to achieve something personal for yourself. And that's all you should ever want and ask for. Don’t take for granted what you have because it can easily be taken away. Be humble for what you have because at the end of the day, these things that you may want are only things and be humbled by the experiences that get you to the places you are now because first and foremost, it's always important to remember to be human and to be a kind person and to value relationships because those are things that are always timeless. Also never forget how and where you started because I assure you, you're much further along than you think. Every day you're growing, so be proud of that. So, I know how hard it can be to make and keep resolutions and how motivating it can be to have goals. But if you just want to take the pressure off of setting expectations for an undefined future, I think you should take five to ten minutes to reflect and appreciate everything you have. Be proud of the person you are now, be thankful for the people you’ve met and the experiences that have shaped you and know that these things, these goals and resolutions, don't define you. They're only a part of who you are, shaping you into who you want to become. But remember that this is your life, so make these your goals and look inward to see what that means to you before you try putting them into practice. It doesn’t matter how you do it-whether that be writing it all down, venting to your best friend or you just having a moment with God, just remember to be grateful, because you’re here and it’s a new year. Peace and love into 2020! Arianna |
AuthorI'm an 21 year old girl who lives in NY. I love to read and write and fashion is my life. Follow me to find out more! Archives
January 2023
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