1/26/2020 0 Comments College 101: The TruthHI GUYS! Welcome back to the blog. I'm very excited for this post because I've waited soo long to finally talk about this and now...I think it's time. (P.S. Click on the photos to listen. ;) Pride is something that usually is a double edged sword. You either have too much of it (for yourself) or it’s an overwhelming, heartfelt emotion. But no matter on which spectrum you fall, at which time, I think pride deserves to be outwardly expressed even if it may come off a little conceited, and here’s why. When you accomplish something-even with help-you were the one who went through all the trials and tribulations; you thought you wouldn’t get there but somehow you rallied and pulled through-and I think you should allow yourself to feel that pride. No matter what it took for you to get there, or how long, at the end of this journey you accomplished something. I didn’t feel pride when I first got accepted into college. Now don’t get me wrong, I was excited, I was happy, I was relieved, maybe a little shocked but pride? No, for me it took me a long time to feel the pride of having done something to get into the school of my dreams. It’s not the direct fault of anyone but I had many different people who played so many different roles in my life, people that I value and respect, tell me that the path I was trying to take wasn’t going to be worth it; that there was a high possibility that it wouldn’t work, and to look at other options. Long story short, I was discouraged and it was so discouraging that when I actually accomplished my goal-I got into the school of my dreams!-I was still so worried and it took away this overwhelming feeling that I should have been reveling in: the same ones I’m telling you to revel in. College is a risky business to play. There’s the statistics and then there’s a lottery. You’re either exactly what they want or you’re not and it sounds harsh but it also has nothing to do with you even if you’ve put in the work. It may be that they don’t have that many slots to fill and you just barely made the cut. But the truth is, you never know when it comes to institutions, you just have to do everything you can and hope for the best. That being said, there are so many things that can be discouraging on its own aside from waiting anxiously for schools to get back to you, not to mention you’re still a full time high school student. However, try not to let all the pressure dissuade you not only from the process itself but from the possibilities of doing or being something great or from doing what you want to do just because of the stats. I wanted to give advice for high school students through the college process. I wanted to talk more about the SAT’s versus the ACTs (I liked the ACTs better by the way) and I wanted to talk about the pros and cons of going to a state school versus a city school; private institutions versus public; six hours away versus an hour and a half. I wanted to go into detail about the FAFSA process and CSS but...I realized that me writing a list of tips and tricks wasn’t going to help you if they all sounded like every other person who’s written advice on college. It also wasn't going to be easy or fun for me to 1. Remember everything that I went through in order to give you sound and solid advice and 2. Write things that even I’m not educated on. Instead, I wanted to share some of the personal aspects of the college process with you guys, knowing this is the best way you can get a feel for the experience and it’s the most real coming from me. The college process is daunting (or at least, that’s the way it was presented as for me). I wasn’t one of those kids in sixth grade planning to study nursing at Cornell. I didn’t even really decide my major until junior year and it was because I had to. (Luckily for me it didn’t take that long to guess my passion but still) college is all about planning and the future, two things I don’t like to do (I’m a “live in the moment kind of person, to be honest). But starting from my freshman year of high school, I was already being programmed to work hard so that I could get into a good college. Which, on one aspect, I appreciated because it taught me incredible work ethic and to value the skills I learned in school but on the other, it made college seem like the end all be all for life and success which created a ton of pressure and anxiety that I didn’t enjoy. College is a future plan that not many people know if they truly want to commit to but it’s “the only way to get anywhere successful” and we’re all striving for success, right? Eh. Maybe, but not always in that way. Not to mention, the type of school and the name are such bigger factors than they need to be but with the way our society is built, it’s equally as important. I didn’t choose a school that was as well known to the people working with me through the process. It was a shot in the dark, a private institution six hours away with a low acceptance rate...it was a risky business. I put all my cards into this school. I passed up opportunities to further myself in other applications, I traveled the distance numerous times just to push myself forward but only for this school. If things didn’t work out, I could have been left with nothing and that was scary for the people around me but for me, but I felt like this is what I wanted. This is what I needed in a college and I was going to get in. And I don’t say this with arrogance or even confidence but with as much determination as I could muster. (And I did. I got in!). But as much as I was pushing forward to make things happen, there were many voices nagging for me to look at other options or to perhaps take those same steps for my one school, towards the others as well. Now I just want to jump right in here and say that my mom has stood by every decision I’ve ever made and not naively at that. We discussed our options for hours, we weighed the pros and cons, we made a financial and life plan and at the end of the day she's the one who kept pulling me back from all those other voices, reminding me why I'm doing what I'm doing and that this is my life and I'm the only one who has to live it so it should be my choice. And it was, but it wasn't without her constant motivation and encouraging words. I also want to point out that the other people in my life who were also a part of this process were equally amazing. I recognize the roles they had to play and despite their outward concerns there has never been a time when I've needed something and haven't been able to sit down with them and they helped me get through it. This isn't me bashing their name or the responsibilities they had because I know all of their concerns were from a place of valid love and concern. However, the outward caution led me to have many doubts and insecurities throughout and after this process. Though, I look at that as a part of my journey that helped to keep me humble so I didn’t get too lost in the glamour and excitement of everything. It also helped me to look at the reality and responsibility of everything I was doing-It made me fully understand the outcome of my decisions if things didn’t go well-and I made that decision fully knowing what I was walking into and I appreciate that. Though, even after I got in I questioned whether or not I was doing the right thing. Was this the right decision for me? Should I have stayed closer to home? But I’m here now and… I walk past landmarks on my campus that first drew my head high, dropping my jaw with wonder and I just have to stop mid stride and say wow. I’m actually here and I’m living my dream. I didn’t listen to those voices around me but that didn’t mean they didn’t get to me. But I’m also a firm believer in what’s for you will come to you in due time. I also don’t want to say “don’t do what I did” because if you feel passionately about a school or anything in life really, no matter the risk, do it. But just understand the risk that you’re taking, accept that these are your decisions and that results will be from the impact of your actions. Win or lose, be prepared to be proud of the fact that at least you tried. (And it never hurts to have a backup plan, even if it’s a last resort). Maybe you were supposed to learn something from that journey. But don’t give in to the voices if they’re telling you to give up your dream completely. Just remember the reasons for why you’re doing this, picture yourself doing all these amazing things at this institution because it will eventually become your home for the next four years. Don’t lose sight of your goals but when you get to that finish line, push the voices out of your head because you did this. I did this-despite the naysayers. I worked hard to get here-despite how hard and how long it took me. It all paid off-despite all the odds against me. I deserve to feel pride in getting here, in now being here-and you deserve to feel pride after you’ve accomplished all the goals you’ve always wanted to achieve. I say this to you to let you know to keep going, to remind yourself of these things, and to perhaps use me as an example. Now, I’m not saying not to listen to those closest to you when they give you advice, especially through the college process. The people who help you are there to help you but so often people who have been in the business for a long time know the odds and focus on the numbers instead. The odds of doing things for you can either be either really high or really low but I also think you know yourself best and you have to make sure you make decisions that work best for you. Deep down I knew that this is what I wanted. This was the school for me and I worked my hardest to do everything I could to get in and I did.
Dreams do come true if they’re meant to be for you. But if you listen to everyone who whispers in your ear what they think, the things that come your way aren’t going to really be for you, it’s going to be from them. This is your life, live it the way you want to because you’re the only one living it and you deserve to be happy. Hell, you deserve to try and maybe fail and learn from that too and then gain something even better. The college process is long and tumultuous but in the end, if it’s what you want, it’s worth it. So, pride...allow yourself to feel it. Not just after you’ve gotten into college but after you get an A on that test or even a C when you thought you’d fail; feel pride when you graduate even if you didn’t get honors; feel pride for making your bed in the morning when you usually don’t. Allow yourself to feel pride because it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes, it’s all you can feel to express the relief and gratitude at the end of a journey. Your accomplishments are your own, take pride in that. Until Next Time! With Love, Arianna
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AuthorI'm an 21 year old girl who lives in NY. I love to read and write and fashion is my life. Follow me to find out more! Archives
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