1/21/2019 0 Comments Why i’ve been slackingsong: Thursday by Jess glynne I never want to become an image of what life is “supposed” to be. I just want to be…me.
Let me explain. When I started this blog I knew I wanted it to reflect who I am, who I’m growing into and who I want to be but I never wanted it to become a different part of me. I think when you take as much of yourself and have to turn that into something that becomes content and a product for not just yourself but everyone else to have access to, it can be draining. Everything on my blog is from the heart, never scripted but always thoughtful. I take a lot of time and thought into the words I say and the things I write about. I never want to offend anyone but I always want to be truthful. I don’t want to expose too much of myself but I try to be as transparent with you as I can. So I hope I’m being honest to myself and to you guys when I say this, but the truth is. I’m struggling. When I started blogging, I also never realized how therapeutic it would become for me in my hardest times but as I’m growing with my blog and with you guys, I’ve realized that I struggle from anxiety and depression. It’s taken me some time to come terms with it for myself but I wanted to share it with you guys because I want to de-stigmatize the talk around mental health, especially in young people. I think we’re growing into a culture that tries to laugh things off or try to normalize how often students don’t enjoy school, stress, lack of sleep, etc. When in reality, it’s quite damaging to us as a society and as people. For a long time I blamed myself for having bad days, for the pressure building in my chest, for feeling tired after weeks of suddenly being happy only to crash. But it was never my fault and I want to let you know that it’s not yours either. I tried out therapy and gosh, it’s amazing. It’s helping to uncover all the baggage in my life and to help me work through things for a better future. But I also want to emphasize the importance of reaching out to the people closest to you. I worried that I’d be a burden or that I would be bothering my friends and family with my personal struggles, but those who really care for you will be there for you. Lean on them when you need to but make sure you communicate when you’re struggling—if and when you can—but also make it clear that it’s not their responsibility to say the right things and always know what to do. Make sure that they always have the space to tell you when they’re also not mentally and emotionally available, that way your friendship isn’t tainted by imbalance (you sharing and they feel like they’re never being listened to or heard). You’re also not too old to be struggling—I’m only 18 and I though I’d have everything figured out by now and boy was I wrong—but I also learned that everyone has a mental health, and when you neglect it for too long, things will eventually build up. So take care of yourselves; journal, reflect, meditate, and you don’t always need to go to a therapist just because something is “Wrong” but it’s great to have another person to talk to about your life who isn’t actively involved in it. Outside perspectives can help you foster different perspectives for dealing with any problems you may have and it can actually be fun. Struggling with your mental health doesn’t make you weak and you never have to worry about being lonely because you’re never truly alone when you reach out for help. Everyone has baggage. And that’s okay. You don’t have to come in guns blazing to defend yourself, pushing away all the things you’ve been through just to show the world you’re okay hone you’re really not. You also don’t have to tell everyone you meet that you’re going through something. To be honest, I was so scared of putting this online because now I’m allowing you, the outside world, into something that’s incredibly personal to me, but I want this to be a space where we understand that we’re not perfect, and that’s okay. I want to build a community that’s going to build each other up and also have support to lean on when you need it. I want to de-stigmatize talking about mental health and talk about the benefits of reaching out when you’re struggling, first by changing the words we use to communicate about our struggle. I’m not slacking because I’m choosing to be “lazy”, I’m demotivated because I’m dealing with other things at the moment and that’s okay. And I want it to be okay for you too. I'm really looking forward to 2019, so stay tuned. I don’t want my blog to only be a reflection of the good things in my life—an alter ego filled with only 85% of me—I truly want it to reflect who I am and this is who I am. This is me. Thank you so much for reading and supporting me. I love you all so much. Until Next Time. With love, Arianna Quote: “You are enough. A thousand times enough.” -Unknown (I don’t own any of these photos.)
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AuthorI'm an 21 year old girl who lives in NY. I love to read and write and fashion is my life. Follow me to find out more! Archives
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